Cracked Columnists

5 Insane Moments From the Manliest Movie Ever Made

#2. The Little-Kid Subplot

Along the same lines, but somehow even crazier, is a subplot involving a young fan who wants Ed Harris' autograph. He shows up at the beginning of the film, trying to get Harris to sign a motorcycle magazine for him, but Harris refuses because that's not what being a Knightrider is about, man. You know that bit in the trailer where Harris yells, "I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!"? That's what it's about. I paid very close attention in this movie and didn't see a single dragon, but I suspect it might be a metaphor for actual buckets of cocaine. Point being, it doesn't make much sense in context, either.

Regardless of dragon presence, Harris eventually realizes that this is a dick move, so after he beats up the sheriff, he seeks to rectify it in the weirdest possible way: by straight up rolling into the kid's elementary school, covered in blood, interrupting the Pledge of Allegiance, and giving him his actual bloodstained longsword.

United Film
Can you spot the five modern day felonies in just these two frames?

#1. Stephen King Is in It

Yes, that Stephen King. The novelist. As an actor.

United Film

He plays "Hoagie Man" and appears in the opening dirt bike jousting tournament, loudly telling everyone around him that the tournament is rigged, like pro wrestling. The lady next to him? Novelist Tabitha King, Stephen King's real-life wife, Tabitha King. She plays "Wife of Hoagie Man."

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Chris Sims

  • Rss

More by Chris Sims:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

439 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!