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5 Gay Guys Who Got More Women Than Most Straight Men

Human sexuality can be a mysterious thing. How do we fall in love? What fans our desire? Should it always hurt this much when urinating? I don't pretend to have the answers to any of these questions. I hold no special insight or sexuality degree, but I didn't let that stop me from writing an article about gay dudes who've had sex with a bunch of ladies. When you have an idea this important, you can't let gross incompetence or abject sexual stupidity stand in your way.

I decided early on I'd need some sort of criteria for fitting people into the categories of "straight," "gay," or "other." For the most part (with exception), I've tried to include only men here who've seen themselves as gay. For example, you won't see David Bowie on this list. Has he had a bunch of gay sex? Surely. But he's also had so much straight sex that if you put his men over his women in a sexual fraction, the numerator would pretty much drop to zero. He's also been married to supermodel Iman for like 20 years. What I'm saying is, to make this list it takes more than some gay sex. You either had to declare your gayness at some point or -- and this is the tricky part -- I had to insist that you were gay solely for the purposes of this article. That's right. Sometimes I use my power as a Cracked columnist to overrule a celebrity's claims of bisexuality and shove him forcibly into the gay category. Yep, I said it. I like to force things onto bisexual celebrities. Maybe I'm just jealous of their ability to land high quality female tail.

#5. Little Richard

Little Richard's musical significance cannot be overstated. As a singer, songwriter and pianist, he is a towering figure, helping define both rock and soul music with hits like "Tutti Frutti" and "Good Golly, Miss Molly." He is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriter's Hall of Fame, and he's the winner of the Rhythm and Blues Foundation's Pioneer Lifetime Achievement Award.

The Case for Gayness

There's no debate that Little Richard has had all sorts of gay sex, and in 1995, he told Penthouse magazine that he was gay. If there were any doubt, there's also 60 years of rock-and-roll fabulousness supporting the orientation.

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Little Richard making Prince seem like Ving Rhames.

Sometimes, he's called himself "omnisexual," and at other times -- like when he became a born-again Christian -- he's claimed to be heterosexual. But if you read some of his authorized biographies, like this one, there's plenty of gayness to be had.

The Women Landed Anyway

Maybe Richard just needed to meet the right women ... women like his on again, off again girlfriend since 1956, Audrey Robinson (aka Lee Angel). Ms. Robinson had a certain something the boys didn't: Specifically, she was a 16-year-old girl with a 50-inch bust and 18-inch waist. She tells it this way in a GQ interview:

"I was not a fan," Angel tells me over lunch in a hotel near her home in West Hollywood. "I was just walking down West Broad Street, in Savannah. Richard looked out of that window, and sent for me ... I said to the person he sent down: 'Who wants me? Little Richard? Excuse me? Is he aware that I am a girl?'

She was captivated "from the second I met him. I almost fainted. I felt weak at the knees. I went through all the classic signs of falling in love. With Richard, I have had a lot of firsts."

During one of his Christian phases, he also married Ernestine Campbell for four years. Oh, and apparently, he participated in a hosts of orgies throughout the '50s where apparently some straight sex slipped in when he wasn't paying attention.

#4. Anthony Perkins

Best known for his indelible performance as Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, Anthony Perkins was an incredibly gifted actor. Aside from his critically acclaimed performance in Fear Strikes Out, I'd also encourage anyone to watch the much maligned and underrated sequels Psycho II and Psycho III solely for Perkins' unrivaled ability to convey emotion through the tiniest facial movements.

The Case for Gayness

This is slightly dicey because Perkins identified himself as straight later in life, claiming to have been "cured" by psychotherapy. Still, it's hard to overlook all that sex he appears to have had with actor Tab Hunter, composer Stephen Sondheim, dancer Rudolf Nureyev and dancer-choreographer Grover Dale. And perhaps even gayer, he apparently rejected the advances of Jane Fonda and Brigitte Bardot.

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Personally, I didn't think anyone was gay enough to do that.

I don't want to impugn his claimed heterosexuality, but I'm going to have to insist that any man who doesn't lose his straight virginity until he's 39 is either gay or me. (Hopefully, later this year. Fingers crossed!)

The Women Landed Anyway

As mentioned above, Perkins' long gay stretch (which sounds far more homoerotic than intended) ended in 1973 when he was 39. Apparently, while filming The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean, he met a young co-star named Victoria Principal who managed to do what Jane Fonda and Brigitte Bardot could not.

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I'm guessing Victoria knew some tricks Jane and Brigitte didn't.

His newfound heterosexuality led him to marriage. On August 9, 1973, Perkins married photographer Berinthia "Berry" Berenson. The couple had two sons and remained married until his death in 1992.

#3. Alan Cumming

Alan Cumming is a Scottish-born character actor perhaps most known for his role as the emcee in the '90s revival of Cabaret. His films also include Circle of Friends, Spy Kids, GoldenEye and Eyes Wide Shut, the latter featuring his performance as the impishly gay hotel clerk. I will always believe Cumming chose to play this role as "gay guy stoked to meet Tom Cruise."

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People who disable embedding will never know true love. The link is above.

Case for Gayness

Now, I'm already expecting some push-back from the High Order of Celebrity Sexuality Judges for including Cumming in the gay category when so much of the historical record would seem to dictate he be placed in the pansexual or bisexual category. Still, I'm doing just that for the purposes of this list. I understand it's sloppy journalism. Of course, I'm not actually a journalist, and, in my defense, there's this:

Gay Celebrities Wiki

Also, he's been married to a man, Grant Shaffer, since 2006, so there's that.

The Women Landed Anyway

Despite the above, Cumming is no stranger to the ladies. He was married to Hilary Lyon from 1985 until their divorce in 1993. Thereafter, he had a series of relationships with women, including actress Saffron Burrows.

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Note to self: Purchase ass-accentuating red cape and blue eye shadow immediately.

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