#2. The Cure Never Sang "I Melt With You"
I have to admit, I've never heard anyone make this mistake until the comments to my last column, but, apparently, lots of people think the Cure sang "I Melt With You." The correct answer, however, is Modern English. Who are Modern English? Well, the best description would be the guys who sang "I Melt With You." That's about it. These guys:
But for some reason, people think this is the Cure. You can get the Cure lyrics to the song:
The Cure guitar tab:
And the Cure downloads:
Which is impressive, because the Cure never even covered the song.
How Did This Happen I know I already used people are stupid for the Dusty Springfield one, but come on. This sounds nothing like the Cure. The similarities could not be more superficial. About the only thing Modern English and the Cure have in common is that I'm pretty sure Christina H could take them both in a fight. Wimpy and English, but nothing more there. Oh wait, the lead singer of Modern English was Robbie Grey, and the lead singer of the Cure is Robert Smith. Two Roberts! Best explanation I have.
#1. "Cat's in the Cradle" Is a Harry Chapin Song
Y'know what was big in the '70s? Story songs. People telling whole big epic tales in the course of five minutes. Adam Tod Brown wrote a column kind of about that. But arguably the best example of the towering '70s story song would be Harry Chapin's epic about terrible fathering called "Cat's in the Cradle." Recently, I learned lots of people think this song is by Cat Stevens. It's true. Check out the music lover who uploaded it to YouTube:
And it's got close to 5,000 likes from people who have no problem with the song being wrongly attributed to Cat Stevens. There's this comment from the dude who uploaded it:
Yeah, that's strange. I can't find "Stairway to Heaven" by Flock of Seagulls on YouTube either!
But the comment that really makes me insane is this one:
Yeah, what does it matter? Music is music. Who cares? I'll tell you who cares. People who do not suck. People who know things. People who care about knowing things. I have to believe we are not so far gone as a people that it's become somehow uncool to care about knowing things. I always thought that was the very definition of intelligence -- not actually knowing, but caring to know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's a bad definition, but I'm pretty sure being hostile to knowledge is a perfect recipe for stupidity.
And with the Internet, it seems that this attitude is rampant, because it's taught us to have no shame. The Net gives us anonymity, and in that anonymity, suddenly there's nothing we have to feel guilty about. So we don't know something, who cares? It's not important. But isn't it amazing that there's always a 100 percent overlap between the things we don't know and the things that are allegedly not important to know? I mean what are the odds?
How Did This Happen Well, my rant above does a pretty good job of explaining how this happened, but if you're looking for more tangible answers, we have that, too. First off, people think Cat Stevens sang "Cat's in the Cradle" because he had to. I mean, the title's got his name "Cat" in it. That's just how it works. Just like Ric Ocasek of the Cars sings Steely Dan's "Rikki Don't Lose That Number" and Madonna sings the Beatles' "Lady Madonna"!
Or perhaps another explanation is that Cat Stevens also has a famous song about a dysfunctional father and son relationship called "Father and Son."
Then again, I don't know why people make this mistake, but, y'know, who cares, right?
But everyone should care about the season finale of HATE BY NUMBERS about Principal Lady Gaga. Also, be sure to follow Gladstone on Twitter and stay up-to-date on the latest regarding Notes from the Internet Apocalypse. And then there's his website and Tumblr, too.
For more from Gladstone, check out 3 Celebrities You Idolize (And The 3 You Resemble Instead) and The 5 Most Overused Jokes On the Internet.