Shapechanging Jesus, save me! Oh, and point of a matter—they should do the self-esteem test with people who are completely happy with their own self-image. I’m tired of people who complain that hotness makes them feel bad! For the love of all burritos and chimichangas, it’s not gonna fucking matter until we learn to teach that everyone is beautiful (thank you mom).

Besides, the human body is badassness in all manner of ways, from the immune system to the muscle tones. I’ve got an artistic hard-on for the human body.

So. Why is there a random post about skydiving over there? And why do I have the nagging feeling that I’m going to regret having asked?

Time to go play CODMW2 and piss myself

There are two common methods for taking on your very first dive: tandem jumping or accelerated free fall. In a tandem jump, you share a harness with an experienced skydiving instructor who has total control of the fall and landing. In an accelerated free fall, instructors help to guide you during your time in the air, but you are in your own harness, open your own parachute, and control your own landing. Each of these methods has some advantages and some disadvantages, and deciding which one is right for you depends largely on what you think your future as a skydiver will be.

Tandem jumping can be less frightening than an accelerated free fall, and many people opt to start out with a tandem jump in order to get a taste of what skydiving is like without having the responsibility of controlling any portion of their fall. Often, people who only plan to skydive once choose to take a tandem jump because it allows them to relax and enjoy the ride while their jumping partner worries about the altitude, the parachute, and the landing. This gives you the opportunity to experience the thrill of skydiving while knowing that your safety is in very capable hands.

In an accelerated free fall, you exit the plane with two instructors, one on either side of you, who maintain a grip on your harness for the duration of the fall, controlling your speed, helping you improve your position, and assisting you with stability. When you reach four thousand feet above the ground, you open your own parachute and pilot yourself down to the landing target. An accelerated free fall costs more than a tandem jump because it requires two guides instead of one, but unlike the tandem jump it can count as the first leg of your training course towards eventual certification. This makes it a good option as a first jump for people who are serious about continuing with their skydiving training.

That made me think of a book flipping off a nerd and leaving with a friend. It would be easier to read what you write if you punctuated more.