5 Bad Ideas for Dealing With Bullies You Learned in Movies
Recently, I've had several people ask if I could talk about bullying. I'll be perfectly honest here, I had no idea what I could possibly say about the subject. When I was in school, we just kind of had to deal with it as best we could, any advice coming from sitcoms and movies about nerds overcoming jocks by recording their girlfriends naked in the bathroom. Unfortunately, I never found a magical, cure-all solution that made it go away, and I didn't realize until I was all grown up that the sitcom words of wisdom weren't all that reliable. Advice like...
#5. Tell an Adult -- They'll Teach You to Fight
This is the very first thing they suggest when you find yourself discovering that putting makeup on a black eye just makes you look like David Bowie. And it makes sense. If you're pulling shoes out of your ass every day after school, you turn to the people who are bigger, smarter, and have the authority to do something about it. Diff'rent Strokes tackled that one back in 1980.
How they handled it:
Arnold tells his family that he's being picked on by a bully named "The Gooch." Mr. Drummond (his foster father) immediately signs Arnold up for a Taekwondo class and then leaves him to his own devices. At one point, Willis (Arnold's brother) convinces him that he has a "killer foot," which causes Arnold to challenge The Gooch to a fight. In the end, he finds out that he doesn't actually have a killer foot, but the bully is scared away because he believes it's true.
So keep that in mind, kids. If you have a bully up your ass, just convince him that you can kill him -- problem solved.
But in reality:
Arnold is slightly larger than a toddler. When he went down to confront the bully, had that kid not believed in magic feet, there's a pretty good chance that Arnold would be shitting out his own intestines after The Gooch beat them loose.
See, most sane adults will go straight to the school. Barring that, they'll go directly to the kid's parents. What they usually try to avoid is cramming the kid into a financially draining martial arts class and hope they master it in the next 24 hours. Remember that Mr. Drummond spent the majority of that show reporting to the Adoption Agency to show that he was providing a safe environment for the kids. I'm pretty sure they would have frowned upon the solution, "Here's an Asian guy. Learn."
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"You do know it's school policy to torture you with acid, right?"
It's bullshit like this that kept my brother quiet during his own bully fiasco. What good would telling an adult do? They'll just make you learn martial arts -- he just wanted to play like a normal kid after school.
When my brother was in elementary school, he had a couple of kids who would regularly push him around at recess. It got to the point where he would eat his lunch slowly and then attempt to stay in the cafeteria while the other kids played outside. It wasn't until he was cornered by a teacher that he finally came clean about what was happening, and the school officials took action.
Parents were called in, and the bullies disappeared into the Principal's office. Now, neither me nor my brother can tell you what took place behind those closed doors, but I like to think that it involved a flaming chainsaw and a nine-iron. Regardless of what happened, the kids took extra care in avoiding my brother at all costs from that point on. As an adult looking back, I'm sure it wasn't so much what the Principal said, but the severe beatdown they got from their parents when they got home.
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We heard they sold tickets.
#4. Just Ignore Them -- Unless You Can Verbally Slay Them
"Just ignore them" is more for the verbally abusive situations. Let's be honest, it's pretty hard to ignore a rage-fueled sociopath throwing elbows into your kidneys. And even if you did, you're just making it easier for him to achieve his goal of making you piss blood. But there are plenty of other types of bullies out there, and the name-callers are some of the most common. Just One of the Guys is one of many, many movies that couldn't resist having a main character put the bully in his place.
How they handled it:
That guy from The Karate Kid is bullying some kids in a lunchroom. He's been doing it for a while, and up until that point, the lead male character has been doing his best to ignore him. But he finally reaches a breaking point, and decides to lay a verbal smackdown that the bully will never forget.
Not only does he start loudly belting out insults to a guy who is known school-wide for beating the shit out of people, but he does it from the top of a cafeteria table, perched tall so that everyone can see who is delivering the burns. The bully gets shut down so badly that his girlfriend dumps him and even the nerds rub it in.
But in reality:
That would have lasted about six seconds with an actual bully before he jumped up onto that table and fed him the rest of his lunch through his ass. You have to remember that these people thrive on ego, and the character in the movie was getting his stroked by fucking with weaker kids and ruining their lunch. He didn't beat them up because he didn't have to. But when that guy took away the one true power he had over them, the bully resorted to, "I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!"
In my experience, I've found that if you can manage to pull it off, ignoring works in most cases. Since the asshole is looking for attention fuel, if you're not providing that, they'll simply get bored and find someone else to pick on. It really is just that simple. At least it was in my case.
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"You know, it's strange, but that guy we call 'fag'? I desperately want to have sex with him."
Most of my school life, I was called a "fag." I was a tall, skinny kid who was timid around girls and hung out with all guys. I detested assholes talking about which "bitch I fucked last weekend," and it was pretty obvious when I checked out of those conversations. So when the bigger, more aggressive kids came around, I got tormented to no end.
But to my surprise, I found that when I kept walking and just didn't give them any response whatsoever -- not even eye contact -- the comments just sort of faded a little each day until they finally realized that they were wasting their breath. Again, it's hard to do that. Every part of your brain will be screaming at you to yell something smartass back. You'll think of a hundred brilliant things that will put them all in their place. But you can't win that battle, no matter how original or witty you come off. All that can happen there is for them to up the stakes and get physical. That's the thing with bullies: they only pick fights they can win. And if they can't win a verbal battle, they'll try the next thing on the list... your ass.
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Some of the less dangerous ones have to go pretty far down the list to find their niche.
#3. Run! You'll Have Your Victory Soon Enough
I grew up in a criminally poor section of an already financially repressed town. Fights were a weekly occurrence, and you either learned how to do it or became an expert in first aid. The problem with most bully characters in Hollywood is that they're depicted as comical obstacles that the main character has to put in his place. Someone has to gain victory over him in order for the bullying to stop. But when shit gets physical, there's most definitely a time to run.
A Christmas Story has a pretty famous example of that.
How they handled it:
We all know the scene. The kids are scared shitless. They try to run a couple of times and get blocked on each attempt. One of them is caught by the bully and gets his arm wrenched behind his back until he screams. When he breaks free, the kids get their opening and they run like hell.
Later in the movie, Ralphie (the main character) finally snaps and beats the living shit out of the bully. And the last we see of him, he's broken and humiliated, crying in front of a group of onlookers. Ralphie's hell is finally over.
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FREEDOM!
But in reality:
In the real world situations like that don't end there. They get worse. Kids like the bully in A Christmas Story are so desperate for power, they couldn't let it lie without a few years of dedicated counseling under their belts. He's proven time and time again that his only joy in life comes from physically hurting weaker kids, and now he's got revenge as a motivation. Ralphie's going to need both eyes, and a real goddamn rifle when school starts up again.
Through most of middle school, my brother and I were terrorized by two brothers who lived down the block. They had pretty severe emotional problems. They came from a family of career criminals who were openly abusive to them, and in turn, they took out their anger on anyone they considered weak.
We regularly woke up to find our mom's car vandalized. Tires slashed on one occasion, and windows busted out on another. But the whole thing came to a head one afternoon when one of them caught us outside of the community pool and threatened us with a knife. We ran until we were sure we'd lost him and then continued to run until we were safe inside of our own living room, a mile and a half away.
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"I know not of the John in which you speak. I am just some blankets."
Running is usually a method that leads to other solutions -- ones that don't require fighting -- because once you've run, you just let them know that anytime they need a power fix, their drug of choice can be beat out of you like a pinata. But if you're being threatened to the point of knowing you're going to be hurt, you have to run. In our case, it was what finally caused our mother to say, "Enough is enough" and we got the fuck out of there. We not only moved out of that neighborhood, but we changed towns and school systems.
That obviously isn't an option for everyone, but that's not the point. The point is that when we were forced to run, we were then forced to confront the problem with our parents and the police. It let the adults know that this was no longer a sitcom type situation where "boys will be boys," but had instead escalated to the point of "legitimate fear for our lives."
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Your life should never flash in front of your eyes before you've lost your virginity.
Once we ran, we never looked back. There was no final showdown where the bully got his comeuppance, and even if there was, they sure as hell weren't going to stop after the fight. But we'll get to that shortly.
I have been bullied and I was a bully once. To this day, more than 25 years later, there isn't a single week that I don't think about the guy I bullied. And everytime I think about him, I wish I could remember his name so I could track him and say how incredibly and utterly sorry I am, how f*****g stupid I was.
ReplyThis one freaking time marked me so deeply that the possibility of my 5 year old daughter becoming a bully one day (no signs so far whatsoever, thank god) terrifies me more than she being bullied herself.
I remember little about the ones the bullied me, but, by god, I will never allow myself to forget the one I bullied... except his name...
This article is insulting to me. It sounds like it's saying we should just lie down and take it, or assume it's OUR fault for being so damn easy to pick on. Excuse me? Were you a bully in high school? Because it certainly sounds like it.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI've had two bullying problems, ones successfully overcome and one... well, not. The first one was a burly kid who sat in front of me in Math class, and shared a drama class with me, who started picking on me... for having red hair. That was seriously it. It was so annoying, that he could look at me and make me feel like an inferior person, just for having beautifully coloured, deep red hair (which, incidentally, happens to be my only physical feature I cann look in the mirror and say "Yup, that's beautiful," about, rather than just average).
I tried everything people tell you to. I asked him politely to stop. I asked my friend who picked fights with everyone to go beat him up for me. (she said yes, but never got around to it) I asked another friends delinquent little brother to do the same thing, but he refused. (I believe his exact words were "Are you crazy?" since the guy had like fifty pounds on him. It was sort of expected, but I still figured I ask.) Before that, just after he'd stopped telling me I had no soul (which doesn't bother me too much anymore, whn people say "gingers have no souls" I just grin and say "Good thing I'm a redhead.") and started singing "Baby, you're a firecrotch," to the tune of Katy Perry's Firework whenever he saw me, I told a counselor. My drama teacher got told, my Math teacher already knew, but nothing was done.
What ended it was I went up to him one night with a paper on which I'd meticulously scrawled a youtube link an hour before. I greeted him cheerily and told him I wanted to give him something, and gave him the paper. He ripped it up, of course... we were in front of his friends. But he was very confused as to why I was being so nice to him (I normally avoided him like the plaugue whenever that was an option) and did not throw the paper out, nor rip it enough so it was unreadable. I went ome satisfied.
The link was to a RWJ song calledc "Dear Mr. Douchebag"
He never bothered me again after that :D
The second time happened before that, and continued after that, and I cannot shake it to this day. It doesn't fall into the clearly-defined categories of bulying, and teachers can't do anything about in. One particularly smart commentor below me has already dubbed it "silent bullying". This is an excellent name for it.
Since grade 8 in middle school, I've been shunned by the entire student body. I'm always picked last in everything we have partners in unless one of my few friends are in my class (and then, I end up being alone anyway because I care a LOT about my grades and they... don't. Or some are just slow. Pick either one.) and then people act like i'm a jerk for not wanting to partner with him/her for EVERYTHING. Nobody talks to me in class. that's not an exaggeration. there is a rule in my French classroom: Do not talk to Gifted unless she's been forced into your group or the teacher makes you in some other way. When I try to join conversations I get looks and pointed silences that make one feel like they're not wanted because, oh yeah, I'm not. I've told my parents. I've asked to switch schools. But my mother took the same stance as this article, that is "It's your fault, and suck it up because this only four years of your life and it's just highschool and it's a big world out there blah blah blah" I wish parents would stop trying to act like it's not a huge problem. This has made me hugely insecure. My confidence has taken a nosedive. I'm now scared to meet new people in my classes, because iinevitably there's someone I already know in there and after a few days those two'll become friends and they'll hear about everyone elses problem with me and I'll get shut out anyway. This has already happened once, with two girls in my last year English class, and though logically I know it probably won't happen again, it just doesn't feel that way.
Bullying leaves huge phsychological scars and they hurt worse if you shut up and deal with it. DOn't tell us not to try. It's insulting.
tl;dr
gingers have no souls
Jesus Christ man, that is a f*****g huge comment. If you can't contain your comment in one paragraph, then don't bother commenting.
He is not going to read your whiny ass mini article, no one is.
I... don't think that was the point of this. I think it was more to try and avoid getting the snot beat out of you and if you actually read past the first paragraph of the article... you might have read that John had the same issues in school as well. Don't act like the world is against you and your the only one who ever get's hurt and abused. You get no pity points because you simply whined. Do something about it instead of sitting in the corner saying woe is me.
Correction: You don't have to deal with that IN COLLEGE. And even at University I've met a great deal of assholes who are assholes for the sake of being assholes, and bitches who are bitches because bitches be crazy. (That's a lot of cursing...I'm going to have the pain tolerance of a God!) The best you can hope for is to be the guy who everyone likes, where the guy who fucks with you is immediately shunned and sneered at themselves. You do that by just being a generally good person. Do people favors when they ask, ask for respectable favors out of others (because, apparently, when people do things for you, they improve their image of you...it's a self justification thing), do your work in class...or work, and just...be nice. When you're a nice person, people don't want to f**k with you. It's instinctual. People don't push you around for shits and giggles when you do things like look after their dog while they're on vacation. while this is true, though, you shouldn't really be a good person because it'll keep people from wanting to screw with you, you should be a good person because it's the right thing to do (that's the politically correct way to portray this lesson, right?)
ReplyNow...people will f**k with you anyway. s**t, people may f**k with you BECAUSE you're this way. Those people you avoid...like the plague. You won't have much of an issue with "bullies" on a physical level (muggers don't count, those are random), though it's important to know how to defend yourself, but you will have bosses and co-workers who are COMPLETE ass-wipes. Those you just grit your teeth, learn the companies policy, and (assuming he's not the CEO) silently wish/wait for him to do something wildly illegal so you can catch his ass and get him in jail, or fired. And if he is the CEO just run...just f*****g run. Only do something drastic when your physical life, or the lives of your loved ones are on the line. Believe it or not, the courts aren't completely heartless. No sane judge would give someone time for defending the lives of him, his wife, and kids from his boss who decided to pull a gun out to solve the problem of an anonymous tip of a sexual harassment suit that was traced back to you.
Oh God yes, there's more:
I've had 4 separate bullies. (I've had more, but a lot of them don't count because, before the age of 8, you can't really do anything THAT clever).
My first was at 10 and came in the form of this little douche who would go to the teacher for every little infraction I committed. This was back when I was a little douche myself, so I'd do things that broke the rules. He would do thinks like steal the toys I brought to school and show the teacher. I wasn't sure how to deal with it since it was all technically in his favor as far as the rules are concerned...so I didn't. We all split off to different middle schools and that was the end of it. The main reason I consider it bullying is I wasn't doing anything THAT out of the ordinary. I'd do things like bring Pokemon cards to school, which I'm sure most of everyone's done.
In 6th grade, I had this guy who would walk around calling me a fag. Eventually, after threatening him with a misc sharp object (didn't help) I just broke down to the counselor, who drug his ass in and told him to get his s**t right. That did work...
Then there was this guy in the 8th grade who was a dick to most people. We ended up fighting because I tried that "Slay him with words!" thing, only I took the pessimistic route and didn't fight back. He didn't pummel me, and we were both completely fine, but he walked around afterwords with news of his "grand victory" which did 3 things: gave him school credit which made other kids f**k with me, gave me lasting regrets, and a new lease on defending yourself. That lease is that the adults are full of s**t, at least ATTEMPT to defend yourself, even if it's just a spat, but only to defend yourself. Don't start s**t (like I did), but in the off chance that someone's gunning for blood, at least get a few licks in. It'll avoid future regrets, even if the screwed up administration screws you over for defending yourself.
For the 2 years I was in High school (before going to a charter school I didn't drop out) I knew this guy who could...I would "politely" describe him as an arrogant douche. His parents were rich, and bought him EVERYTHING even if he didn't ask for it. Everyone loved him and his sadistic sense of verbal humor. The teacher's saw nothing wrong with him. He was just a god damn prick. I eventually got over that guy by way of my mother, who worked for the school district, being able to access his school info and relaying his less than glamorous high school marks to me, and by way of a mutual acquaintance letting me know that he's not so popular. One of my suite-mates knew the guy. When it came up in conversation, I told him I thought he was a p***k, and he said "...yeah I can see that". Both of those combined gave me hope for a just future.
Oh yes you do. They sign your paychecks, and can destroy your career over and over again. They're even more dangerous when they're all grown up. You have a hell of a lot more to lose.
ReplyOh but there is, you are close to those assholes as an adult, they may be different people but they are the same assholes from school, the only difference is that they may be a bit more hesitant to be physical
ReplyWell, and that usually they're the douchebag security guard, or gas station attendant, or bouncer, or desk jockey (basically, low requirements, low fulfillment/satisfaction); whereas, most of the picked-upon tend to be the smart, creative types that have gone places in life (engineers, scientists, the people owning/running the businesses, etc.)
Oddly I knew.. two bully's in school who were mean as hell to me. I met them a couple years ago in town and they'd done a complete 180. I don't know what happened to them but they were much more respectable people. Good drinkin buddies too. That is to say not all bullies become like that but you meet those very rare ones that simply become better people.
An important aspect to pay attention to is emotional health. Kids will fight back, teachers and parents may intervene, etc. etc. but kids need to be stable enough to deal with the emotional repercussions of being bullied, especially when it's verbal or on the internet. It's one thing to ask a kid to ignore bullies and another to have him disregard what the bully is saying. A kid can ignore someone calling him/her fat, ugly, and worthless--that's easy. The hard part is not believing the bully and not getting offended to the point where the bullied kids want to kill themselves. I hope this isn't coming across as victim-blaming; I'm just saying that there needs to be a greater focus on emotional development so we can prevent kids from getting so down that they want to inflict harm on themselves.
Reply#5. Tell an Adult -- They'll Teach You to Fight: Going to an adult makes it worse. They'll just lay it on you even harder. And this could be going on right in front of the teacher, and they won't do anything about it. And apparently saying something to the bullies about it would just get YOU (and only you) called out, while the bullies laugh and take your books, your calculator, your homework and rip it up, and pencil case while you're in the bathroom. And I'm in a Catholic school, too... And the teachers and principals claim to 'care' about the students. Either way, they'll be getting paid, whether you learn or not, whether you're getting picked on every day or not.
Reply#4. Just Ignore Them -- Unless You Can Verbally Slay Them: Ignoring it doesn't work in my school. They'll just make it worse for you.
#2. Fight Back -- You'll Always Win!: If going ballistic and throwing a book because some girls stole your gloves the same day that your mom accidentally gave you your brother's Concerta (ADHD med) counts as 'fighting back' then... I guess I fought back. Oh, did I also mention that they're still bothering me and they've been doing this since 3rd grade? And they've been in more fights than I have (not counting those fights I've been in with my brother, it's zero)?
#1. Fight Back -- There are no Consequences: A girl got suspended for fighting a 7th grader. Apparently both of them were in the hospital... It was an in school, one day suspension.
And, John, my bullies are spoiled kids that are able to live in a house (while I have to share a room with my mom (my brother and the 2 foster kids has the other room) in a 2 bedroom apartment) and have name brand clothes (I'm talking Gucci type name brand, plus... clothes are clothes, as long as they aren't tight clothes).
Good ole' Soon Tek Oh: the late 70s-early 80s [insert Asian stereotype here] comic relief standby.
ReplyCyberbullies are just as bad as physical bullies. Anyway, going to an adult makes it worse. The kid will find out and want to beat the crap outta you that much more. My mom always told me never to start a fight, but if I was getting punched in the face, I'd better kick their sorry butt back. One point in fifth grade, I was almost jumped by a group of girls who hated me for no reason, and I simply walked away. They came up to me individually and told me DEATH THREATS. And these girls were 10. At my high school, if you get into a fight, you go to freaking jail, but does that do anything for bullying? No. I wish people would realize how bad it is instead of laughing it off.
Replysome times going to an adult makes it better especially when that adult is a 6 foot 7 biker and built like a brick shithouse (thanks dad) didn't get anymore trouble out of that kid now if only I could have taken him to school with me my childhood would have been so much better.
Idk, John. I love your articles and this one makes a lot of sense... but my experiences with bullying didn't always work the way you say they should. I think my experiences are odd cases in themselves since I'm female and in my worst cases with bullying (physical AND verbal), the bullies were male. It never escalated to full-blown fights, but they did get physical. With the verbal bullying, I could always ignore them but they seemed to enjoy that more because then they could try and find my breaking point. I'm not really sure what the best solution to bullying would be. My experiences gave mixed results.
ReplyYeah my experiences of bullying where a lot like this too. At one point I did tell a teacher about it and I ended up getting picked on by a whole new group of kids for "telling tales" and being a "teachers pet".
I remember moving for the 5th time of my life at age twelve. I was timid, the new kid in school and I had a bright yellow schoolbag for christ's sake. First I always found it later in the garbage, then got I harassed and it sometimes got physical. But what I learned after 4 months of trying to ignore the bully, is that revenge is a dish best served cold, but DAMN it tastes good. I was fed up, told the guy that I had enough, kicked him repeatedly in the leg, made him have a taste of my schoolbag à la poubelle and told him to f**k off. sometimes the best defense is attack. it might cost a few punches in your stomach or face, but that's a small price to pay for peace in mind.
ReplyI went to an all girls school where bullies used words instead of fists. When I ignored them it escalated, when I gave out erbal lashings of my own I ended up with 2 different outcomes. Either they shut up or we had another verbal match. Well as verbal as we can make it without teachers hearing us anyway. The lesson I learned during these verbal beatdowns was pretty much ignore the weaker ones but lay out a smackdown with the stronger insults.
ReplyAlso don't for goodness sake go to the teachers. That's what one of my classmates did, lets just say that she was perfectly ignored and friendless throughout the entire year. She was always last to be picked during group projects and had no one to sit with except those too kind to turn her away. Once she was gone those too kind people would start insulting her anyways.
If its physical I wouldn't know since I never experienced it, but in verbal beatdowns don't ever go to the teacher. Especially the more gung ho no bullying tolerated ones. They tend to lay a smackdown so hard that the bullies stop openly bullying you. Openly being the key word. After all you can't report back to the teachers that your friends have left you and that its their fault.
This whole bullying phenomenon creates the fallacy that bullying is getting worse. It isn't. You can just watch it on YouTube now. Throughout my childhood I was quiet yet fortunate enough to be a bit taller than most of my peers. Bullying episodes usually ended quickly and with the bully regretting it. This obviously isn't the outcome for many, but it doesn't mean standing up for yourself should go out of vogue. Many of these videos, not all though some are crimes, could have ended with the victim throwing a few punches or grabbing a stick or something. Just stand up for yourself.
ReplyI disagree with most of this article. I was a quiet kid and I moved a lot, so at every new school I was usually on the bully's radar immediately upon arrival. At most schools I just let it go and tried to ignore it and they kept bothering me until I moved (parents could not stay in one place for very long for different reasons, never moved to get away from bullies). Around middle school I started standing up for myself and got into quite a few fights between middle school and high school. I never fought the same person over again because they would stop bothering me afterwards (in most cases we actually became friends). I always chose my fights carefully and prepared for them accordingly so I wouldn't lose (in my first fight I put my backpack full of books under my huge coat as a shield against the punches, which also messed up his hand and opened the door for me to kick his ass). The only one on this list that I agree with is that if they have a deadly weapon, you should probably run. But in most cases, the other points won't help. Going to an adult will just make you look worse and they might suspend the kid from school, or punish him at home which will just piss him off more and make you more of a target. Ignoring them doesn't always work either because when they see that they can't get to you mentally, they might try to make it physical.
ReplyDepends on the bully's motivation. If he/she just wants attention, they'll leave you alone when they see you aren't giving them any. In some cases, though, they're bullying you verbally because they can't be bothered to bully you physically, and they'll quickly make it physical if they think that the insults aren't doing anything.
This is not a comedy article. It is a fairly solid assessment of the act of bullying, but not its causes. Don't get me wrong here: it's a good article, but not what I am looking for here at CRACKED.
ReplyThis is Cheese's writing style. Cracked would be boring if all the writers were the same.
John, your articles are the best.
Replysorry but this article is not very accurate
Replynot every bully is some poor soul who is being abused at home, my schoolbully used to be a spoilt douche who's parents gave him everything he wanted but otherwise didn't pay much attention to him, yet defended him against everything
Yea... I can't really say I agree with some of this. I learned after getting beaten up a couple of times that if you wait until they forget you then beat them bloody and senseless, they will NEVER touch you again. Not a couple of punches, some truly heinous shit. Everyone left me to my own devices after that. There was no penalty either, not for beating that bullying freak. I was punished only for the pre-meditated nature of my offense, not the fact that he wouldn't be returning to school until his face looked normal again.
ReplyWhen I ignored the people bullying me all throughout middle school, it never worked. It was like a game to them, trying to find my breaking point where I couldn't ignore them anymore. That point was usually after the name-calling escalated into physical violence.
ReplyMy problem with "ignore it" was that at the age I was bullied, I heard it as "feel nothing"...which is pretty damn unreasonable....so basically instead of having issues over years of bullying (thankfully mostly repressed and stored only as hatred of that one particular asshole), I have issues over feeling guilty/weak for feeling any negative emotion....and of course that guilt/weakness is itself a negative emotion
You must have had worse bullies than me, I had three fights with three different people in middle/high school. two of them were the end of the situation.
Replysometimes bullies pick on the easy targets too, if you show that you won't take shit, they'll move on to others.