Why? Because you broke it.
FlashyMyspacepages featuring wall-to-wall gifs and the music of Kenny G, endless Youtube uploads of QVC clips, all just to fuel some pathetic humor-farm's crass attempt at entertainment...the list goes on.
Quite simply, there's too much Internet, and not enough tubes to hold it all. To make the metaphor as clear as possible, imagine we've got eight things and, like, three tubes. And each tube only holds two things.
Get the picture?!
In order to aid the conservation effort, I hereby declare Internet Rationing in effect. If you consider yourself subject to my authority (and I know there are a number of you), follow the guidelines presented here and help forestall the inevitable stoppage of all information and our culture's decline into 1970's-era anarchy.
Make a conscious effort not to download anything. Shoot for 10MB a day or less; I'm told that amount should cover most people. I get all my news off microfiche and despise films, so don't worry about me.
This goes for uploading too, which is just reverse downloading as far as I'm concerned. We need to keep Internet video transmission to a bare minimum: urgent news bulletins, instructional DIY videos, and Youtube clips of webcam girls shaking their asses in a dark room.
Start a buddy system, whereby you and a friend represent a single person, and are never online simultaneously. This will effectively cut Internet use in half, and at the same time give millions of people nationwide a more precise idea of exactly when their closest friends usually masturbate.
And if you see a street person using the Internet in a Library, you have my permission to knock them out without warning.