4 Ways To Shirk Responsibility And Deceive Your Way to Trust

#2. Forgiveness Can Be Weaponized

With all the innocence you're buying yourself with the first two tips, it's only natural that at some point another person will wrong you. They are, after all, not as strong as us. Now the predominant mentality in our culture is that everyone deserves forgiveness, that we should offer it liberally because there isn't one person among us who won't need it at some point. That's misguided, and more importantly, short-sighted. As anyone who's taken an economics class can tell you, a surplus of any one thing will immediately cause inflation and a cheapening of the product. So thanks to the "turn the other cheek" attitude, forgiveness has lost its value in the moral market.

Fortunately, you can use that to your advantage. While everyone else showers you with compassion and leniency, you can be stingy with your own, which will not only drive up the price but result in power as well. Let's say, for instance, that your long-time girlfriend or boyfriend has left you for someone else. And just for the sake of specificity, let's say it was someone who worked in the medical field and that he's a complete dick. Thanks to the social norm, she's going to anticipate that at some point you will stop sending pictures of road kill or standing outside her window trying to make your sobs sound like the wind.

Thinking of you.

Ultimately, she expects forgiveness, but regardless of how much you still want to make her happy, don't give it to her. Hold out for months, years if you can, as long as it takes for her to accept that no mercy is coming and that this is just a way of life now.

Then and only then, you can forgive her, because at that point it will come as such a shock that she will believe the cost to you was astronomical. She will marvel at your willingness to fight and win against your own emotions for the sake of everyone. She will think about you while preparing dinner or, with any luck, while showering, wondering where the two of you went wrong. At that point you will have successfully turned forgiveness into something far more pointed and beautiful: Revenge.

Which segues nicely into the final bit of advice ...

#1. Everyone Will Confuse Self-Inflicted Inconvenience with Personal Betterment

Culturally speaking, we are in love with stories of struggle because we want to believe it's always followed by reward. What most people refuse to acknowledge, however, is that struggle doesn't just work in one direction, it can drift anywhere, even into the asinine. That's why you'll notice people around you setting up arbitrary hurdles in their lives just to jump over them and feel better about themselves. Raw foodists, cleansing enthusiasts, and likely real hurdle jumpers all insist that their life choices are making them something other than miserable, that they are taking the hard road toward personal improvement. But they are wrong.

Seriously. I love this bullshit.

Still, you can cash in on the confusion. Set up a few high-profile inconveniences in your own life, and watch as others automatically mistake you for someone striving toward betterment. For instance, you can take up gardening or insist on walking places instead of driving. Everyone around you will automatically correlate those efforts with some end goal at which they suspect you are aiming, regardless of whether you have one in mind or not.

There you have it. It's honestly that simple. Give any of these tips a shot and watch how quickly people praise you for being a fantastic person. I will be waiting for my thank you letters.

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Soren Bowie

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