4 Unhealthy Mentalities the Internet Turned into Movements

#2. Gang Stalking Victims


At some point, you've probably had a terrible day in which all the insignificant irritations you face piled up and seemed to all hit you at once. While you may have thought, "That was really unfortunate," there are thousands of people out there who instead think, "government conspiracy." For those people, there is no such thing as good or bad luck, there is only bully and victim.

If you are unfamiliar with the perceived threat of gang stalking, take a minute to watch at least 30 seconds of the following clip and read the description.

You only have to watch a 30-second chunk because it's all more of the same, just footage of someone driving a car in the rain and absolutely nothing else. But that four-minute video is supposed to be indisputable proof that a mass conspiracy orchestrated by the highest levels of government is subtly harassing and annoying the person shooting the video, all because the government ultimately wants, um, well, no one seems to be able to agree on what the end game is. All they know is that every loud noise, every instance of red and yellow, every crowded supermarket parking lot is intentional, and it's all choreographed flawlessly to sort of mildly frustrate one person.

Unlike the other entries on this list, the targets of gang stalking aren't stupid, they are just genuinely unhealthy. But the Internet has only nurtured their delusions by providing a community of people who all believe in the same absurdity. And if you thought it might be possible to rationalize with them and show them how objectively silly gang stalking actually is, don't bother. You can watch people fail through pages and pages of forums because anyone who questions the conspiracy is, by default, part of the conspiracy.

These people will go on believing that every loud motorcycle, every low-flying plane and every person in a red T-shirt are all working together to create a casserole of inconvenience that, incidentally, isn't a bad casserole, but one the targets will be forced to eat until they feel kind of uncomfortably full. That's exactly what the government wants.

"This message is for all the other targets out there. Look out for all butter-based dishes."

And when the gang stalking community inevitably stumbles upon this article, I will be accused of targeting them as well. The colors of Cracked, after all, are red and yellow.

#1. Cheaters Seeking Cheaters


From what I understand, dating websites have helped thousands of people find true love, and certainly no fewer than the eight I saw in the commercials. I have no doubt that singles can cast a much larger, safer net for love through these communities than they can at a bar or a book club. But among the people who sincerely want to find a lasting relationship online, there are just as many people looking to destroy one. Ashley Madison in particular is a dating service wholly built on facilitating adultery. Certainly there are other websites in the world that make money on ruining lives, but none of them are nearly as unapologetic or overt about their dedication to human misfortune as this one.

"I did hand stuff with your boyfriend."

Now, it's easy to detest a dating service that encourages cheating, but to truly understand why it's deplorable, you have to consider the type of people making up its community. Ashley Madison isn't just about finding someone who isn't your significant other for a quick forensics swap, it's about finding someone who also has a significant other and then having secret sex with that person. So the question is, why add a superfluous husband or wife into the equation for no good reason?

The only explanation is that the clients are turned on by their potential to ruin multiple lives at once and by their capacity to devastate if the secret spilled. You know who else feels that high? Movie villains. Movie villains and real-life sociopaths. That's a dangerous urge to foster, and it's even more dangerous to introduce those people to one another. The site claims to have over 15 million members worldwide, which makes it far and away the biggest community on this list. So how could there be that many unhappy people in dying relationships?

Men Going Their Own Way
Oh. Oh yeah.

You can keep up with Soren's intramural Marxist juggling team on Twitter or Tumblr. Everyone should sign up, you get a free key chain.

Check out more from Soren in 4 Ways to Shirk Responsibility and Deceive Your Way to Trust and A Letter to Parents About the Fake 'Teen Crazes' on the News.

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Soren Bowie

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