4 Things 'Star Wars' Fans Need to Accept About George Lucas
Last weekend saw the rerelease of the prequel of one of the Star Wars movies, because apparently no one's gotten tired of that shit yet. Rejiggered to now be in 3-D -- because no one's gotten tired of that shit yet, either -- a number of other changes are evident in the film when compared to its original theatrical release. There's a new Yoda now, some tweaked special effects and, probably, an extra 28 hours of scenes set in the Galactic Senate.
This is fairly typical for the Star Wars franchise, which has a long history of "special editions" and "rereleases" and something called "laserdiscs," all of which feature movies that are slightly different from each other. People who always have a little bit of fudge on their faces have tracked these changes exhaustively and, as is their way, at times have even gotten quite upset about them. News that Lucas was planning changes again with this latest rerelease even prompted threats of a boycott from these folks, news that delighted scientists who had created a device capable of measuring extremely small threats and were looking for something to calibrate it with.
Getty"0.08 microPescis. Incredible!"
I'm not actually going to get too condescending here, because I am more or less a Star Wars fan myself. I've seen the films, I've played the games, I even went through a regrettable Star Wars novel phase in high school. (The phase was what was specifically regrettable, although the novels are no things of glory, either.) I know all about Han shooting first, and I know the logical explanation for the Millennium Falcon making the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs (it makes so much sense when you think about it). I am, for lack of a better word, a tremendadork.
What I'm not, though, is upset about the changes Lucas keeps making. Here's why:
#4. Because They're His Damned Movies
An obvious point, but it needs to be stated clearly: Star Wars fans don't own the Star Wars movies. We just like them. If they get changed and we don't like them anymore, that's perfectly cool, because we don't have to like them anymore. That's the deal. All sorts of creative works come in multiple editions, director's cuts, abridged versions, expanded versions. Lucas appears to be far more into this tinkering than other filmmakers, but he's hardly unique. Take Blade Runner:
Currently available in 12 different cuts, the most recent of which implies that Deckard was a ghost the whole film.
Really, if Lucas wants to fix something he thinks was a mistake in an earlier film, that's his business. Our lives aren't affected in any serious way if he changes it, nor does he have a contract with us to preserve The Phantom Menace as some kind of cultural monument to poor plotting. We're just not talking about something that's that important -- it's not the Constitution, or the Bible, or The Godfather.
I should be clear that none of this is to say that Lucas is right or wise to make these changes. Irrational or not, he knows these changes will piss off a portion of his fan base, and although pissing off his fan base hasn't done much damage to him yet, it's not something many other creators get away with so readily. And under no circumstances should this be taken as a blanket defense of the artistic merit of the changes, which Lucas has a very spotty track record on.
But it turns out that not all of the changes Lucas has made have been bad ones, nor is it a guarantee that any future changes he makes will be bad ones. In fact, there's always a chance that ...
#3. He Might Actually Make the Movies Better
Among all the hair-pulling about Greedo shooting first, or that new Jabba scene with an ambulatory beanbag chair clumsily CGI'd over a fat guy ...
... it's been forgotten that a lot of the changes actually kind of improved the films. Here's a small one:
Oooh, who's a sexy little torus? You're just a dirty old space orifice, aren't you?
And here's another ...
That Episode IV: A New Hope prefix wasn't there in the original theatrical release. It was added a couple years after, when it became evident that Star Wars was going to be a thing. Isn't that a nice little tweak? Doesn't it make the movie seem like part of a greater whole? "What an epic story this must be!" the audience says. "But where the hell were the first three parts? Did I ... did I black out for several years again?" These troubling questions set the hook perfectly, priming the viewers for an unforgettable cinema experience and forcing them to confront their demons.
Let's look at the biggest change being made in The Phantom Menace 3D, aside from the addition of the dreaded Z-axis. The original release featured a puppet Yoda that has since been replaced with the CGI version we see in the other two prequels. Now I've seen The Phantom Menace a few times, and I can't recall a thing about Yoda -- which I'm inclined to say is a good thing. In retrospect, this was probably my favorite interpretation of Yoda, in that he didn't do any goddamned backflip sword fighting in this film. But if you look at new Yoda side by side with old Yoda, both look fine.
I don't see what the problem was with the old one, and I don't see what the problem is with the new one. There's just nothing here to get worked up about, and there never will be, so long as there's no goddamned backflip sword fighting.
Finally let's go back to "Han shot first" -- the most egregious violation of everything, ever. I won't defend this completely -- it's a clear-cut example of Lucas making his film worse -- but it's nowhere near the big deal some people would make it.
For the uninitiated, here's the Coles Notes version of the controversy: While in the Mos Eisley Cantina, Han Solo is getting the gears from Greedo, a bounty hunter looking to collect space dollars. In the original film, as the conversation turns sour, Han gets the drop on Greedo, blowing him away under the table. In the revised version of this scene, Greedo shoots and misses, then Han shoots a fraction of a second later, finding his mark. Many people loathe this change, preferring the original version, where Han shoots first because they think this makes him more of a badass.
I've since found out that Lucas has made about five more versions of this scene with small variations, but in all the versions, the same three things are unchanged:
1) Han was reaching for his blaster because he was about to use it.
2) After shooting Greedo, Han walks away coolly, like he's done this kind of thing before, and is kind of bored of it.
3) George Lucas is an idiot.
Whether George Lucas is an idiot and Han is a badass or George Lucas is an idiot and Han is a very lucky badass honestly makes no difference in how we think of Han or watch the rest of the film or live our lives. I will freely acknowledge that it's a stupid change to make because of how it muddies the waters, but it's way less of a big deal than everyone makes it. And even though it is undoubtedly a mistake, that actually turns out to be a good thing, because ...
Is this serious? I mean it’s not funny. Snuffy photoshoped in is not even that amusing. WTF? I recall mad magazine and cracked magazine as being satire. Is this just straight up OP ED?
ReplyOkay here’s the first problem. The title of this piece and the “it doesn’t mean that much” bullshit is snobby tripe. That kind of holier than thou crap is really quite pathetic. It’s borne of High School mentality. You’ve written the text equivalent of giving a geek wedgie. To all those ripping on Star Wars fan’s there’s some piece of pop culture that have a fondness for, deny it all you want. When that gets messed with you’ll get upset too.
4 things YOU need to accept about this or any other issue.
1. Nobody gives a s**t what you care about.
2. The fact you don’t find it relevant does nothing whatsoever to illegitimatize the issue.
3. Being a Roger Ebert like douchebag on a obscure website doesn’t exactly place you heads above the people you’re trying to piss on here.
4. No matter how much you look down your nose at the fans of the movie. Their finical support, contributions to the Star Wars universe, and unending devotion to it very much make the actions of Lucas their business.
So when you get the answer to the 6 f*****g questions that last Harry Potter has to answer, think about the people that are taking it waaaay to seriously.
Finally if this or the other other things you’ve written I read are suppose to be funny…TRY HARDER. They ARE’NT. You just come off as some schizoid moron that contradicts his own statements on a fairly regular basis.
//That kind of holier than thou crap is really quite pathetic. It’s borne of High School mentality.//
I introduce you to your first point.
//1. Nobody gives a s**t what you care about.//
Star wars is written as an opera.
Replyyeah the phantom is little disappointment but hey that,s the star wars the great part is episode 4,5,6 that,s the most favorites film of all time
ReplyI've never even watched these movies...they're not my kind of movie, and seem to be way over-hyped.
ReplyIf you expect them to live up to the hype, they're terrible. But the original trilogy, most especially the one now known as Episode IV, is a pretty good flick.
Mostly because it's just Kurosawa's Hidden Fortress with a little bit of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly thrown in for flavor, and some random WWII films for dessert.
For the most part, I really have to agree. I am an adamant Star Wars and Star Trek fan but I don't quite feel that all the hardcore nerd rage is really necessary. For all the crap that is being thrown into these movies, and there is a lot of it, we still have all the minutes that haven't been ruined yet. The good acting of the original trilogy is still there. The story of the original trilogy is still there. Carrie Fisher is the gold bikini is still there. These things are really the essence of Star Wars and they aren't gone. However, would like to make one minor disagreement with "Because They're his Damned Movies." You're right about "A New Hope" and the prequels. He wrote them. He directed them. And despite the fact that Gary Kurtz is listed as the producer, it really sounds like Lucas himself had to fight tooth and nail to do most of the producer work on episode four. That being said, he is not the screenwriter or director of "Empire Strikes Back" and only co-wrote "Return of the Jedi." Irvin Kershner directed Empire while Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett wrote it. "Return of the Jedi" was co-written by Lucas and Kasdan while it was directed by Richard Marquand. Every change he decides to make to those movies is really a big fat slap in the face the the people who directed them.
ReplyI don't think any of the changes really matter that much. For me, I never saw Star Wars as some complex and deep space epic. It's just a gaggle of sci-fi movies with often corny dialogue, cool spaceships, watered-down philosophy, weird aliens and sweet, sweet laser action. And I absolutely love that. Whether it's the prequels or originals, it's all the same fun adventure that I have devoted myself to. Lucas isn't some evil dictator bent on screwing over fans prison-shower style, and he isn't a saint who wants to constantly improve his treasured films. He's just a dude who is pursuing the almighty dollar by developing the films he made and loves. So, denizens of Cracked, I suggest we stop worrying about having films ruined and s****y writing and the like, and embrace the films and their changes no matter what
ReplyAgree completely, it's his franchise...and as a long time Star Wars fan, even I have trouble keeping up with the trade federation stuff and all those side stories, so hats off to him for largely keeping it flowing. I love all list articles...saw another great one today in the same vein on grodydelicious - 5 Reasons Uncle Owen is so Cranky.
ReplyIts whatever at this point... my biggest gripe about Lucas is simple: Is he ever going to make something NEW that isn't 'Star War's or 'Indiana Jones'? I believe he fancies himself to be some modern-day film version of JRR Tolkien... forever revising his 'masterpiece'... but god that is incredibly delusional.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesCameron, Spielberg, Kubrick.. even Kurosawa who Lucas freaking admires, all had TALES and STORIES to tell. Not revise the same crap over and over and over again or manage a franchise. I think Lucas' brain probably melted and can't think of anything else.
I totally agree. It's gotten to the point where it's just sad.
Just leave him alone. I don't think he has any friends.
Cameron shouldn't be on that list. I'd rather watch Terminator 2 and True Lies 1000x before finishing Avatar.
For me, it all comes down to availability of the version I actually like. They're his movies, he can chop them up, re-release them with dumb gimmicks, whatever. But when I can't buy the good version, then I get pissed.
ReplyThis is the biggest difference between Star Wars and Blade Runner. There may be 5 versions, and even if you prefer the Final Cut, you can still get the producer-mangled Theatrical.
"Isn't that a nice little tweak? Doesn't it make the movie seem like part of a greater whole?"
ReplyNo, it just makes Lucas look like the ret-conning hack he is.
I may get killed for saying this, but I liked the prequels. I said it. Some fans may put their fingers in their ears and go "lalalalalalalalala!! I can't hear you! They don't exist!!" But I liked them, since I don't like old, cheapy-cheap animations and effects... The light sabers were very cool, and the "new" Yoda looked like Yoda should.. The puppet scared me.. I thought at any moment, he would climb on Luke's back and rip out the dude's throat with his little three-toed-sloth-hands...
ReplyI've always been a massive star wars buff, it was a formative influence around when I was young. I got massively into it and always love it. That said, the first ones I saw were the re-released cinema versions of the original 3 movies remastered in preparation for the first big remastered VHS boxset, so I was already watching something tweaked (if a very early tweak). But I like the prequels. They're interesting and the war/political scenarios (if wrapped up in what I consider bloody boring jedi drama) are just unreal. But what I don't love is the CGI effects. The original movies had some amazing 'old, cheapy-cheap animations and effects" which were one of the first things in the movies I adored. Its the same with Aliens, Blade Runner, Terminator/T2, Labyrinth etc.; just amazing old analogue effects! Guess that's just me haha
I also liked the prequels,, anything to get some more Jedi Action!
*I have to say that the back flipping Yoda was one of my favorite things, I get a huge kick outta the little green man kicking some serious shit!* o(^+^)o
I really don't get the "Han shot first" thing. I also don't get why everyone thinks that Han is such a badass, so that might explain the former. This is the guy that walks through a rebel installation whining about a princess not returning his love. Hello, dipshit. Last time I checked, you're apparently supposed to be surrounded by a bunch of hardened freedom fighters. Would Che put up with this kind of shit? Then there are those girly screams that really bothered me when I was 8 whilst watching the Empire Strikes Back when they lowered you onto that lazer blade hot thing or whatever the hell it was. Leia seemed to have handled that floating madball with a hypo droid a hell of a lot better than you. You think a hard broad like that wants to date a b***h in a vest? I had seven surgeries on my head to get a f*****g tumor out of it by the time that movie came out,and there you are pissin and moanin like a kid getting a flu shot. Lovable rogue my ass. More like a member of Air Supply. What the hell are all you Star Wars fans drinking, and why does it cause such confusion with what a real man is? You wouldn't know a scoundrel from a f*****g Pokemon. Oh, I forgot, you live in Mom's cellar.
Reply Hide All See All 5 Replieslol you wouldn't scream girlily while being lowered onto a lazer blade hot thing, would you?
"Leia seemed to have handled that floating madball with a hypo droid a hell of a lot better than you."
Interesting judgment, seeing as how we never got to hear her reaction at all.
/end rant
Not true. She just stared at it, while Han immediately started yelping like a wanker. I recently watched the original 3 and found that I had been wrong all these years. I had always thought that Luke was the big whiny b***h, but minute for minute, Han actually pisses and moans more than him. Then you have Leia, who is easy the most strong willed of the bunch. I think the reason so many Star Wars fans whine like puppies left in the garage is because all the male figures in the movies are such miserable selfish complaint mongers. They grew up thinking that when something turns out unsatisfactory, just b***h about it until you get what you want. Look at the proof! Anakin and Luke, Han, 3PO, R2, all the main male figures b***h the lion's share of the time. It's kinda sad.....
She stared at it while it was coming at her. Who knows how she acted when that thing did whatever it does.
I found a Star Wars magazine from 1999 the other day that had an article about how a bunch of people had voted The Phantom Menace the third greatest film of all time. Proving that those "greatest of all time" lists are usually just bullshit where people write down the 10 movies they saw most recently.
ReplyThere was a Star Wars Magazine? Now I'm depressed.
...Honestly, seeing them side-by-side like that, CGI Yoda does look better then puppet Yoda. My nostalgic feelings towards animatronics aside, I think CGI Yoda has a more expressive face and, let's be honest, he does look more natural then puppet Yoda, who seems kinda stoned.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe whole Han shot first/Greedo shot first thing never bothered me. It's a silly change but everyone seems to have blown it way out of proportion. If any Special Edition alteration deserves the full wrath of the fandom it's the Jabba scene, which added nothing we didn't already know, had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen, and made Han look like an idiot by refering to Jabba as a "human being." (No, that's not sacrasm. It *was* sarcasm when it was shot, and Jabba was actually human. But calling a giant alien gangster slug a "wonderful human being" is just stupid.)
And finally: I will never understand why people take offense at Yoda being a backflipping, sword-swinging asskicker. The guy is the ancient master of an order of magical space samurai. *What the hell did you expect?* Like... have you ever seen a Kung Fu movie? Or, like, TMNT? Karate Kid, for heaven's sake! The old, frail-looking geezer *always* kicks everyone's ass!
But, yeah, I think Lucas should be allowed to decide for himself when his life's work is actually finished.
There. I have once again assured that nobody will ever agree with me on any subject involving Star Wars!
This is going to sound weird, but we're talking about aliens, right? So for me, I somehow am able to accept a stiff, but tactile and real puppet of an alien, over a more expressive but cartoon-looking representation. Honestly don't care either way... but expressive doesn't translate to real. Not that any of this crap is real. Eh. You know... nevermind. Forget i said anything.
People get pissed off at Yoda backflipping around the place with a lightsabre because it directly contradicts everything he said in Episode V. The point of Yoda was to express the power of the Force. Yoda was tiny and physically ineffective, but with the Force, he was able to f**k s**t up and levitate f*****g spaceships. He was beyond the need for a lightsabre because he's a tiny little green Force God.
This is also the same reason people get pissed off at the idea of midichlorians. Not only do they only get mentioned literally once in the entire series, but they reduce the Force from crazy mysticism to science. Where's the imagination in that?
Superking, I disagree. Yoda is tiny and physically ineffective, but he is also old. The force may have allowed him to be able to spin and backflip. It's only natural that the leader of a class of warriors be able to, y'know, actually fight. After his exile, he had no reason to extensively use the force, so it would explain why he seemed so much weaker despite it not being (relatively) many years later.
As for the midichlorians, Yoda mentions them in Ep. 3. I know it's only a brief mention, but it irks me when fans say they were only mentioned once. I don't dislike the concept either; I like that it is scientific as it makes it more relatable to reality. Plus it still seems mystical to those who do not understand.
A) I disagree completely with the Han Solo bit. I actually don't get that mad about it, and am somewhat of a reformed Star Wars Fan. In that light, I'm more in line with the first point made, then any of the others. In other words, after watching his re-edits, and prequels, I don't really care anymore.
ReplyThat being said, The Han Solo bit is pretty bad. I never thought about it making him more of a badass, I thought it painted him as more of a scoundrel, and somewhat evil, especially since in the original cuts Greedo NEVER reached for his gun at all. Han just shot him after getting tired of talking to his stupid face. It's the fact that it's cold blooded murder altered to be anything but that makes this scene weak.
Like I said, I don't care. Star Wars has become a business, and has lost it's roots. I respect it for what it inspired, but there is just better s**t out there now.
2) Yoda actually proving he could fight 30 years before A New Hope is the only saving grace for me in the prequels, and I honestly don't understand why so many people get upset over it. I've heard people say it makes Yoda cartoonish, but to me, he's a small, super intelligent, telekinetic monk. I like seeing that he can use those powers to whup some tail. Seriously, how would you have this scene change?
A) Greedo already Han at gunpoint. Han shot him because he was either going to shoot him and sell his corpse to Jabba or send him at gunpoint to his death by a mobster's hand. That simple. I understood that when I was thirteen years old, but apparently, the scene has had to be restaged in the intervening years for the benefit of the subtextually retarded. At least Spielberg had some rational reason for the walkie-talkies.
2) Crouching Jedi, Hidden Yoda is by no means the worst thing about the prequels. That doesn't mean I ever want to watch them again, though; it's just not worth the time.
@ Ace: Replacing the guns with walkie-talkies was more retarded than "Greedo shoots first."
My only issue with the Han & Greedo scene is you can see the piss poor editing he used to alter the scene. You can see how hoaky it looks when Han's head moves out of the way of the shot before he shoots Greedo.
ReplyWith all the tech available to him you would think Lucas would have done a better job making this seem a bit more, I don't know.... Seemless?!
Same here man
And then they realise that they are complaining about something that wont affect them in the slightest but might just get some little kid hooked on the wonderful world of science fiction, and in my opinion, that's a f*****g great thing to have .
ReplyGeorge Lucas in not an idiot and he is not a fool. He is a brilliant business man. While I disagree with the edits he makes I disagree more with why he does them. There's no artistic vision driving this. Changes are made to 1: resell the movies as many times as possible and 2: Give them more mass market appeal. He doesn't care how many fans buy his movie for a special movie night with their buddies and all their light sabers, only about how many movies are sold period.
ReplyHe's trying to make up for the time he lost when he could have been making bank if he'd been willing to split it with his ex-wife.
I was young back then to have complained about the Star Wars presequels. Besides, my love for the galaxy was heroically replaced by none other than Jedi Revan.
Reply"Star Wars" was selected by the National Film Registry the year it was founded. This means that government money (i.e. tax dollars) are being used to preserve the film. Not the "special edition" of the film, but the original, unaltered, warts 'n' all version. THAT is why Lucas needs to stop f*****g with it.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesBecause, from a certain point of view, they do belong to us.
If he tries to break into the Registry to alter that one (which is possible, now that I think about it) someone will try to stop him. Not that they'll succeed.
But will they use lightsabers to stop Lucas? That is the real question.
that only means the original version 'belongs to us' the film rights are still totally his to screw with into oblivion.
MissBliss said what I wanted to say. The NFR preserves the original in an archive, but it doesn't give us creative rights over the film. Lucas can do what he pleases, your precious theatrical version will still be preserved, unchanged.