4 Reasons You're Going To Hate The New Mike Myers Movie
So last week's HBN on Kid Rock was kind of a big deal for me. It hit the widest audience of anything I've ever done in my life. (Not counting my hilarious turn as www.suicidegirls.com in Swaim's Internet Party skit where all but a quick shot of my black nail-polished left hand was cut from the video at the very last second.) But with that larger audience came, not only an outpouring of support, but some nasty hate mail. In truth, I spent most of Tuesday crying. Fortunately, my Cracked family was there for me: Mike Swaim dressed up like a clown when he raped my dog, Dan O'Brien regaled me with forgotten stories about our days as a crime-fighting duo, and Chris and Ross ignored me in a friendlier, more empathetic way.
It really is like one complete loving family. Jack is the hard-drinking absentee father and Lex is the Uncle who's not allowed to babysit anymore. We need a mom.
Anyway, today we're looking at the trailer to Mike Myers new movie The Love Guru. It makes me sad to think that if I ever meet Mike Myers he won't like me because he's seen this HBN. But then again, I don't think I'll ever meet him and I really don't think he watches my video segments. So I'm probably on safe ground.
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ReplyThe movie might not suck that bad if he is just reusing semi funny jokes. It will simply be like the Austin Powers sequels, funny at some parts but not a good movie.
ReplyBut........ really......... damn........... fun. Trust me.
ReplyA costa rican cowboy hat sounds like a sexual euphemism for something unspeakably dirty.
ReplyI was given a cowboy hat in Costa Rica. I'm gonna start wearing that, now.
Replykingmonkey, glendoor I propose to you that it is up to us to bring hats back. Let's do it. Let's start the revolution.
ReplyI agree with the hat things.
ReplyBack in 199-2000, Myers was invited to a board meeting to get his career back on the right track.
ReplyHe could not attend...he had a previous engagement at the Acme Shark Jumping Festival.
He placed 2nd.
Eddie Murphy won.
This is why I don't watch movies anymore. I either feel like I've heard all the jokes done better already, or it's a special effects movie where I feel like I'm watching someone play the video game. Of all the millions of dollars spent on movies, why aren't there better scripts, and good acting, and interesting stories? Mike Meyers has gotten lazy with age... (along with the rest of Hollywood)
ReplySo THAT'S why you took away all my expensive hats.
ReplyThere are several notable inaccuracies in that comment. This is why you can't have nice things Neil.
ReplyHaving to watch trailers for this and that Zohan thing in the theater this weekend actually made me turn to my date and say "comedy is dead." Then he laughed, so I was wrong!
ReplyEvery episode gets better and better, I really hope you keep these up- I'm gonna need a crapload of entertainment to keep me out of the 130 degree Vegas heat this summer. Also, um, purely out of curiousity... is there a Mrs. Gladstone, not counting your mom?
He does seem to frequent that place quite a bit...I'd guess they have good drink specials. I'd highly recommend banging the chick in the background with the martini, though, unless there's some sort of unexplained prior tension. Goddamn it, we need to get to the bottom of this now.
ReplyEven though it's plain to see Love Guru is going to suck, people are still going to go see that shit.
ReplyNo wonder Jack O'Brien Hates America. You're always in that bar Gladstone, are you ok?
Eric Idle was kind of funny in Shrek 3. Shrek is German for terror btw.
ReplyI have to admit, I think Zohan looks like it might not suck. Apatow cowrote. I bet everything it's better than Love Guru.
Replythe really sad part about this is that he already had rehashed those jokes from earlier days in the first place. For example, you can see the midget/mole joke if you go watch wayne's world 2 and notice the scene where they are trying to get the proper paperwork to put on waynestock and the guy at the desk has a screwed up eye. Only it was better then because it ended with dana carvey saying "we'll cross every t and dot every .... lowercase j" - at least when he rehashed it in austin powers he played it a little more over the top so at least it was tweaked and a little different.
ReplyThe really really sad part is that john oliver is in it and that makes me pissed that I can't possibly put myself through the torture of seeing this movie. And I want to support john oliver. Also, at least sandler's movie feels like he's trying to go back to something less shitty than his recent string of movie like 50 first dates and mr. deeds. Trying to rewind the clock to better days. I can sorta tell he won't succeed and will wind up in Little Nicky territory where I won't go see it, but I'll catch it on comedy central 2 or 3 years from now and i won't hate myself for watching it even though it sucks (I mean at least it felt like he was trying to regain something he lost long long ago and he did some pretty good pandering in that movie). The love guru or w/e just looks like mike meyers will be doing the same exact thing he's done his entire career except louder and more obnoxious. I love waynes world. It's one of my favorite movies. Every scene is classic. Never should have made a sequel (but as far as comedy sequels go, it wasn't half bad - especially when compared to meyers' later work). Austin Powers was a lot of fun and the second wasn't bad, but had already diluted the concept as far as it could go. The third one was just mike meyers running around in costumes doing accents and making the same 5 jokes he's made a million times. Shrek wasn't for me, but i can appreciate it and understand why people love it. Shrek 2 wasn't nearly as good, but was a lot funnier. Shrek 3 was an abortion. And I refuse to mention the suess movie. This looks to be worse than austin powers 3, better than the cat, around shrek 3. Fantastic. I can't wait for the love guru 2.
Oh, yeah, last time Myers was funny, or Eddie Murphy for that matter, was Shrek and Shrek the third was pushing it.
ReplyNext one I'm gonna see is The Hulk, then Batman.
ReplyNot gonna see it.
ReplyGet Smart opens the same day, and that has claim upon my meager movie dollars.