4 Reasons the World Has Never Been Better

#2. Tolerance

Have you ever heard of Bailey Jay? Let me drop in a pic here.


Is that hair color natural?

She's pretty hot, right? She's also transgender. Someone in the comments will likely call me a fag for including her and saying that, but most won't. Because our world today is also one of unprecedented tolerance.

Now, you may have just guffawed and asked yourself what world I live in, because the world is full of bigots and racists and hateful pigs like Ann Coulter and Nancy Grace and Donald Sterling. But that's the negative you. Don't think that way. Not to say you're wrong, but let's flip your perspective a little and look at gay marriage, which is now legal in 16 countries around the world, plus many states in the U.S. and parts of Mexico. Denmark was the first country in modern times to legalize same-sex marriages, and they did so in 1989. 1989! Look how much history we had as a people during which this was not tolerated at all. Hell, it took a law in 1969 in the U.S. to make interracial marriage legal.

I'd never dream of saying that your life is probably a jaunt down Lollipop Lane if you're a gay man, or a black woman, or a transgender person. I bet you face way more shit than a white guy like me ever dreams of. But I know we're getting better. We, as a people, are getting better. Fifty years ago, couples on TV couldn't be shown sleeping in the same bed; now we have RuPaul's Drag Race. And that's not a comment on the quality of programming, but the diversity of it. We're accepting now, more than ever. Other people are allowed to be other people. Your perspective is only yours, and you have no need to force it on others, just as they don't need to force their values on you. And the people who are the assholes, and the bigots, and the dipshits, look how they talk. The Gay Agenda. Black Culture. They think these minorities are trying to do to them what they're doing to the minorities -- oppress them and make them lesser people. It's like when you see a man who constantly accuses his wife of cheating and it turns out he's the one who's been cheating all along. It's an Ouroboros of dickhattery.


Like this, but with penises, and on a hat.

Transgender rights are coming on the heels of gay rights, and God knows neither group is fully integrated into society yet, fully accepted by everyone, but is it better now than it was 30 years ago? I think it is. And that's a good thing. A society that accepts all of its members is a society that can flourish and be better for everyone, and that's what we want, right? Probably. A world where you don't feel ashamed of being gay. Or liking My Little Pony. Or being overweight. Or liking Olive Garden, no matter how gross it is.

#1. Prosperity

yvdavyd/iStock/Getty Images

Before the Industrial Revolution, life expectancy was about 30 years. That didn't mean 30-year-olds were senior citizens; it just means that, on average, 30 was a pretty good haul for most people. Sure, some of us lived to see 80, which is about the current life expectancy, but far more of us never managed to get past infancy, and those who did had to constantly worry about polio, scurvy, werewolves, inquisitions, the plague, the other plague, Groat's disease, and bottomless pits. All previous times to be alive were shittier times to be alive.

Today, thanks to things like improved nutrition and medicine, you can expect to live to be a senior citizen, you can expect to be a solid 4 inches taller than your ancestors 200 years ago, and if you live in the industrialized world, chances are you have a roof, running water, food, a clean living space, and fairly reasonable access to health care and so much porn. In a bygone era, your roof was whatever you made yourself, your floor was probably dirt, your food was what you grew, your clothes were what you made, and medicine, if you could get it, might be administered with dirty instruments, or it might be snake venom and opium on a cookie. They did weird shit back then. You don't even want to know what they used as fap material back then, either, but it probably involved some sweet goat heiney.

Of course, we still have a long way to go for everyone to share in this prosperity -- there are nearly 2 million homeless people in America today, and so many more living in poverty. But look how far we've come. Look at the potential that is here for all people.

Will we one day get our shit together and make sure everyone enjoys equal prosperity? Well, that might be communist, don't say that anywhere near a conservative radio host, but it's still a nice idea to think that one day we could live in a world in which people don't have to die in gutters for lack of proper mental and physical health care, nutrition, and housing. And we're way closer to that today than any other time in history. So look at you, no matter who you are and what you do. Does your life suck? It might; everyone's does sometimes. But it's better than what it could have been in so many ways. Remember that the next time you make it through a day without a werewolf eating you. The world is pretty awesome.

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Felix Clay

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