#2. Fight Club
The "Smoking" Hot Lady at Group -m4w- 30 (First Methodist)
You were the brunette at the group meeting last night. You had one pigtail going straight up on the top of your head, which is the opposite direction in which most girls wear pigtails. When I say most girls, I mean normal girls, not the girls in group, who usually don't even have hair at all, so the direction of pigtails would be a silly thing to spend much time thinking about. I'm sorry, even writing this I'm nervous. Did I mention I have throat cancer? I do. My power animal is the double-wattled cassowary.
I tried to say hello to you at the refreshments table. You were smoking a cigarette, and I was going to say that seeing someone who wasn't letting disease govern her life was all the refreshment I needed, but we were interrupted by that guy who rudely pulled you away without even trying to say something interesting. I know it sounds mean, but I hope his cancer goes into remission so that he has to answer for all the rude things he's probably doing every day while thinking he's got a free pass from responsibility. I could tell you didn't even want to talk to him, or cry with him when we paired off. You would have been much happier with me. My cave is made of peanut butter. Creative, right? I also hunt. I'm full of surprises once you get to know me.
If you'd like to meet up sometime so we can talk, please respond. Also, know that this is sort of time sensitive, so the sooner you can get back to me, the better. No fakes. Tell me the type of doughnut at group that no one ever eats so I know it's you, and don't you dare say maple because that hardly counts, since everyone already knows it's disgusting.
The Computer Guy from the Nightclub! -w4m- 40
CL>Los Angeles>Missed Connections
Hi! I met you in the VIP room of a club. My name is Helga. We were introduced, but I'm not sure if you remember me. I'm about 5 foot 4 inches, I have blonde hair, and I was wearing the fuchsia Steve Madden pumps with the matching purse. Fuchsia is my favorite color, and NO, not just because it's fun to say! I sat next to you for a little while and we drank a shot of tequila together. Remember? I blew you in front of all those people while that man held a gun to your head. Oh, and I had a Tiffany bracelet! The girl with the bracelet, that was me!
I hope you haven't forgotten. I thought you were really sweet, and I wish we had more time to chat. I remember your hair had frosted tips and you did a great job on that code thing everyone asked you to do. You are so smart! I know we were both working that night, but I got the sense that maybe you liked me a little. I liked you too, so it honestly didn't even feel like work to drink tequila with you, or deal with that guy's cigarette smoke (blech!), or blow you in front of all those people. We should get coffee sometime! Or a bagel, I'm obsessed with bagels lately, especially with almond honey cream cheese. Hmmmm!
Please respond if you're the guy. I forgot your name, but you are definitely circumcised. When you write or call, tell me what earrings I was wearing so that I know it's actually you. You were good with computers, so I'm sure you'll see this. No cigarettes this time! :D
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