A while back I posted a trailer for a then-upcoming Paris Hilton vehicle called The Hottie And The Nottie. In the post I made the following bold assertion:
"I think The Hottie and the Nottie is going to turn out to be one of the great love stories of our time." - Ross Wolinsky
It turns out I blew it: Shockingly, the film has been almost universally reviled by critics and audiences alike since its release! During its opening weekend, Hottiepulled in a whopping $27,696 at 111 locations. Depending on how you want to look at it that's $249 per screen or, figuring an average of $8 per ticket, about 3,462 total paying customers in all of America... which is actually kind of a staggering number if you really think about it. It might not sound like much for a nationally distributed feature film on its opening weekend, but it's still enough people to fill a medium-sized high school gymnasium. Doesn't that seem like way too many? How did 3,462 Americans somehow come to the conclusion that Hottie was going to be worth seeing? Who are these people that plopped down their hard-earned cash at the ticket counter and said "One for Hottie," and what in the name of God were they thinking?
You might be wondering what the woman in today's video has to do with The Hottie And The Nottie. Not a whole lot, to be honest, but they do share one trait that I think bears mentioning: She, like the film, is completely fucking retarded.