1Stealing Imagination and Memories.
What do they transform into? MORE BOOBS!However, some people are a bit more complicated than that. Like women, for example. They have both thoughts and emotions. I know! Crazy, right? How do you crack someone like that? Well, you break it down; to figure out the complicated human mind, you need to know how they think - what exactly makes them the person they are - and to know that, you need to know what they’ve seen, and what they remember. That’s why researchers at the ATR Computational Neuroscience Laboratories set out to capture images directly from the human brain. How? Well, when you look at something, your retinas relay the image as electrical signals to your visual cortex before you can even process said images consciously. The scientists simply used an MRI machine to monitor activity in the visual cortex and, along with insanely intricate mapping software, they successfully pulled images from their minds! They showed the test subjects six consecutive letters that spelled out the word "neuron" – the name of the magazine the study was being published in – and then, using their setup, they re-interpreted the data back into the readable letters as shown below.
Okay, so telepathy is 8-bit for now. Give it 20 years and it’ll be HD.Because the visual cortex registers what you see, whether you realize it or not, this process also makes it possible to capture things you haven’t physically seen - like dreams or visualized imaginary scenarios – as well as things you can’t consciously recall seeing, or weren’t paying attention to - like forgotten memories or small details overlooked at the time. So eventually, way down the line, this process could be used for anything visually based, from finding your lost keys, to recording your dreams for later examination. Why you would want to do the latter is anybody’s guess, seeing as how your dreams, if they’re anything like mine, are mostly just jumbled assortments of pop-culture idols gyrating erotically, while abstract representations of your deepest fears chase you through a hedge-maze, finally catching you because you can only run in slow motion while everything else moves in real time.
Like this, but with MacGyver's face. And sexy.For the time being, they can only recreate crude images like the aforementioned letters, and even then only by painstakingly mapping brain activity recorded while you’re currently looking at something. So on the down side, even if it advanced remarkably, this specific technology could never tell somebody what you were thinking; it could only improve at telling them what you were picturing. But on the plus side, all those violent revenge fantasies you have - where people guilty of the slightest offense towards you are beaten to a pulp by your unerring fists, while all of your female friends and co-workers celebrate your impending victory by stripping off their business attire and engaging in exceptionally bouncy oil fights? Yeah, soon they’ll be able to totally watch that shit. Even record it! Where it will probably get you incredibly, irrevocably fired… or else promoted to the advertising department (depending on the marketability of the jiggles.)
Hint: extremely marketable.
2Reading Thoughts and Intentions.
like the United States Army, for one!
Because hey, if there has to be a division of the government monitoring your thoughts, why not make it the armed one, with a penchant for breaking down individuality in order to instill a sense of complete obedience?
The army has recently renewed a $4 million contract with researchers at the Universities of California at Irvine, Carnegie Mellon and Maryland to do exactly that. Ostensibly, the aim of the project is developing a “thought communication” helmet that would relay troop’s commands and reports silently, but I’m not exactly Fox Mulder over here when I imply that maybe the “mind-reading helmet” will do a tad more than facilitate quiet chats when you put in the hands of the military industrial complex.
“I want to believe…that this shit isn’t true. Seriously, this is fucked.”Right now, it’s just a helmet with 128 electrical sensors strategically placed around it. The sensors work as a kind of EEG, tuned to monitor the speech centers of the brain, so it would only pick up words, and even then only words you formed carefully, and held onto mentally. The researchers assure us that, for the time being, there’s no actual danger of it reading your mind against your will. You have to be specifically trained to operate the equipment in the first place, and even then, the communications would have to be very forceful, very simple and framed very carefully to be picked up at all.
“FUCK YOU. FUCK. YOU. F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.”Though in time they trust that the communications will be relayed in your own voice, for now they’re played back via headphones with a robotic speech reader. It’s essentially like having a tiny robot living inside your brain that broadcasts your inner-most thoughts straight to the military – so it turns out that homeless guy outside the library that wears 17 alternating layers of flannel and saran wrap was totally right on this one!