Know what's just around the corner? Only the most funnest holiday ever -- April Fool's Day! I mean, who doesn't love April Fool's Day? No one. That's who! Name another holiday that lets you to engage in good-natured hijinks and tomfoolery with none of the ramifications you would normally expect? (I know what you're thinking. Ash Wednesday, right? But it turns out that churchgoers actually want the priest to leave that sooty stain on their foreheads, so that doesn't technically doesn't count as a prank.)

So with this awesome holiday drawing near, I thought it would be a good time to review three classic April Fool's pranks for you to try out on your friends and loved ones. Remember, it's April Fool's Day, so it's just good clean fun!

The prank phone call is an April Fool Day's classic. The way it works is you call someone up and say something that isn't true. And then when your untruth generates their hilarious reaction, you tell the person what you said isn't true. And then further hilarity ensues.

What you'll need:

A parent who loves you

A telephone

A policeman's uniform and disguise (if you make the call on Skype).

You'll need a fake persona for your prank call, and pretending to be a police officer is a good variation on this classic. Sure, impersonating an officer is typically a crime, but it's April Fool's Day. The day law forgot! So after you disguise your voice (or your voice and your appearance for Skypers) call someone who really cares about you and tell them you're dead. Don't be confused. You're not a ghost. You're pretending to be a police officer telling them you're dead. And not a dead police officer. A police officer advising them that the real you is dead. (Hey, no one said perpetrating classic April Fool's Day pranks was going to be easy).

Hint: To make this prank believable, you can't give everything away too quickly:

YOU (as police officer)

Mrs. Jenkins?

YOUR MOM (If her last name is Jenkins)

Yes?

YOU

This is Officer Mulrooney. I'm afraid I need you to come down to the station.

YOUR MOM

Why? What's going on?

YOU

I think it would be best to tell you when you're at the station ma'am.

YOUR MOM

Is something wrong? What's the matter?

YOU

Well, it's about your son.

YOUR MOM

Has he done something wrong?

Now this part of the prank is critical. You need to allay the victim's concern at first, to give the subsequent April Fool's zinger maximum impact:

YOU

Oh, not at all.

YOUR MOM

Oh, you had me worried.

YOU

Yes. I'm sorry. I'm just calling because he's dead.

YOUR MOM

WHAT?

YOU

Yes. Head sliced clean off in an industrial accident.

YOUR MOM

AAAAIIIIGH!!!!!

Now, this next line might be hard to deliver because you'll be laughing so hard. I mean, here you have your mom feeling the worst pain she's ever experienced so it is pretty hilarious, but the joy of April Fool's Day is sharing the delight of a fun joke well-played. So after about three minutes of gut-wrenching moaning and guttural noises, be sure to scream nice and clear "APRIL FOOL'S DAY!"

If you do it right, you and your mom will have a classic April Fool's Day memory to share for years to come!

A good way to design an April Fool's prank is to mess with people's favorite possessions. The two things that people like most? Their cars and not dying.

What you'll need:

Wire clippers

A friend or loved one who owns a car

Did you know that disabling a car's brakes is fairly easy? It's just a matter of clipping the right wires. And since you're going to be playing this prank on friend, you don't even need burglar's tools to pick the lock or jimmy the hood open. You can probably just get access when he's not looking.

If not, use a clever ploy such as saying, "Hey good friend who owns a car, you should check out Cracked.com today. They're running an article called 'Top 7 Things Said By Optimus Prime That Sound Really Gay When Taken Out of Context.' Or if your friend is not a fan of well-crafted, popular culture-referencing, list-based comedy, say, "Hey I heard a rumor that Hate By Numbersâ"¢ is returning to Cracked.com. You should probably go watch the entire catalog." Hint: remember to wait for your friend to leave before cutting his brakes.

At this point in the prank, some people seek safety by refusing to ride in the now disabled car with their friend. But those April Fool's Day poopers are missing the best part: screaming "April Fool's Day" moments before their friends' horrific deaths.

Still, if you don't have the proper spirit, a variation on this prank is merely disabling your friends airbag (but not yours) while distracting him from the passenger seat (with airbag) thereby causing an accident. There's always more than one way to have a good time on April Fool's Day!

This April Fool's Day classic takes people's natural love of pornography and surprise packages and turns it into something hilarious.

What you'll need:

The contact information of a Cracked.com columnist other than me.

Child pornography

The desire to pull the greatest April Fool's Day prank ever!

If there's one thing Cracked columnists enjoy, it's stealing G-Stone's good ideas and dumbing them down for broader appeal. But if it's two things they enjoy, it's getting porn from readers.

Want to turn that personality trait into a hilarious prank? Here's what you do! First, either be an underage girl with a camera or own pornography of an underage girl. (You'd be surprised how many Cracked.com readers fit that profile.) Then send those materials off to Dan O'Brien, Michael Swaim or Robert Brockway. (Chris Bucholz is excluded from this list because I'm pretty sure kiddie porn is not big deal in Canada.)

"But wait, G-Stone?" you ask. "Isn't mere possession of child pornography illegal?"

"I'm sure it is," I reply. "Its existence is a pox on humanity and a federal offense, I think"

"Then why would I want to own it or send it to writers I enjoy?"

Friends, your questions sadden me. What part of APRIL FOOL'S DAY, don't you understand?

-(Thanks to Emily Gheseger for the column suggestion)

Learn more about Gladstone at Kafka Lives in Maine or stalk him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.