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28 Items from the Worst Gift Catalog Possible

Brendan edits articles about booze, sex, and video games for a living, so there's nothing he needs for Christmas. But you can wish him the explosive Yuletide joy of 1,000 Baby Christs on Twitter @brendanmcginley.

Always on the go but can't get enough of those sweet, sweet dick jokes? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

As 2013 draws to a close, be sure to check out Cracked's year in review because, well, we know you don't remember it half as well as you think.

Related Reading: Everything wrong with Glenn Beck can be found in his production of The Christmas Sweater, and Brendan put this lunacy to patriotic use in Four Insane Solutions to America's Biggest Problems.

Image credits:

Boiled egg -- Jupiterimages/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Chiropractic -- Thinkstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Chocolate diamond -- Image Source/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Corpse bouquet -- Jupiterimages/ Images
Dagwood sandwich -- Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images
Duck Dynasty hat --
Electronic pear -- Hemera Technologies/ Images
Foxy female assassins -- Creatas/Creatas/Getty Images
History drag -- Medioimages/Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images
Hobo1 -- Images
Hobo2 -- Jupiterimages/ Images
Imploding house -- NA/ Images
Lingerie -- Bryan Bedder/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Live chicken -- John Foxx/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Long pig links -- Jupiterimages/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Mosquito caricature -- Images
Nameless Ones -- Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images
Peppermint bark -- Brand X Pictures/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Pickled goat penis -- Hemera Technologies/ Images
Quinquagintacon -- Burke/Triolo Productions/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Racist clowns -- Thinkstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Sexbot -- Jupiterimages/ Images
Sexy bubble wrap suit -- Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Sushi basket -- Jupiterimages/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Tinhat -- Hemera Technologies/ Images
Snakeball -- Images
Comstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Hemera Technologies/ Images
Zedcor Wholly Owned/ Images
Brand X Pictures/Stockbyte/Getty Images Images

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