Comments on: 2012 … The Realistic Edition http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/ The CRACKED.com take on the world, in America's oldest weblog, since 1958. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:10:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Colt http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-125410 Colt Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:41:23 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-125410 Just saw this movie today. It was absolutely amazing! I have to say Im think all the hype and the idea of the 2012 apocalypse was worth it just to get this movie made. It's the best thing that will come out of the whole idea Just saw this movie today. It was absolutely amazing! I have to say Im think all the hype and the idea of the 2012 apocalypse was worth it just to get this movie made. It’s the best thing that will come out of the whole idea

]]> By: TheEnemyBelow http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-100830 TheEnemyBelow Sun, 26 Jul 2009 05:23:35 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-100830 Okay.If the world's gonna end@12:01AM,January 1,2012; put in a CD(or 45 or LP if you have a collection of vinyl)of "Ride Of The Valkyries"by Wagner@11:55PM;December 31,2011 and turn the volume to"Give The 90 Year Old Man Down The Street Who's B17 Was Shot Down Over Germany in 1943 and Spent Two Years In a POW Camp in Poland a Massive Coronary!!" and wait for the end of the world as we know it!!! If TEOTWAKI*(The End Of The World as We Know It)doesn't happen,boy are you gonna be embarrassed!!! Anyway,after reading both the Book of Revelations in the Holy Bible and The Bhagavadad Gita's"Now I Am Become Death,Destroyer of Worlds";movies where Will Ferrell showed his bare behind(Once-'Old School')as well as running around in his underwear(Twice-'Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy'and'Talladega Nights:The Ballad of Ricky Bobby')on screen;the recent deaths of Farrah Fawcett;Michael Jackson and Walter Cronkite;Six Flags bringing back the creepy old man in their commercials;Evangelists involved in Sex Scandals in the last 20 years(Five-Jim Bakker;Jimmy Swaggart;Paul Crouch;Ted Haggard and Tony Alamo)and Nadya Suliman-aka The Octomom- getting her own reality show;I've come to the following conclusions regarding TEOTWAKI: (1)The World Ain't Gonna End In 2012!! (2)Even If It Does,There's Just Not a Whole Helluva You Can Do About It,So'Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!!'. (3)There's no point in stockpiling weapons and non perishable foods and distilled water!! If TEOTWAKI does happen;again,there's just not a whole helluva lot you can do about it;so just put your head between your legs and Kiss Yer Bohunkus GOODBYE!!! (4)If you wake up and see 666 on your forehead;again,Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!! It's not the Mark Of The Beast!! Instead,while you were asleep-or passed out drunk!!It's your thang!!Do what you wanna do!!!-your kids had some fun with a Red Magic Marker!!! (5)"Don't Fear The Reaper"by Blue Oyster Cult would be a pretty cool thing to write on an Artillery Shell heading for a Taliban Stronghold!!! (More Cowbell!!). "Get Nekkid;Blow The Evil Weed and Kiss Your Teachers!!" -Wolfman Jack. Walter Cronkite Okay.If the world’s gonna end@12:01AM,January 1,2012;
put in a CD(or 45 or LP if you have a collection of vinyl)of
“Ride Of The Valkyries”by Wagner@11:55PM;December 31,2011
and turn the volume to”Give The 90 Year Old Man Down The Street Who’s B17 Was Shot Down Over Germany in 1943 and Spent Two Years In a POW Camp in Poland a Massive Coronary!!”
and wait for the end of the world as we know it!!!

If TEOTWAKI*(The End Of The World as We Know It)doesn’t happen,boy are you gonna be embarrassed!!!

Anyway,after reading both the Book of Revelations in the Holy Bible and The Bhagavadad Gita’s”Now I Am Become Death,Destroyer of Worlds”;movies where Will Ferrell
showed his bare behind(Once-’Old School’)as well as running around in his underwear(Twice-’Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy’and’Talladega Nights:The Ballad of Ricky Bobby’)on screen;the recent deaths of Farrah Fawcett;Michael Jackson and
Walter Cronkite;Six Flags bringing back the creepy old man in their commercials;Evangelists involved in Sex Scandals in the last 20 years(Five-Jim Bakker;Jimmy Swaggart;Paul Crouch;Ted Haggard and Tony Alamo)and Nadya Suliman-aka The Octomom-
getting her own reality show;I’ve come to the following conclusions regarding TEOTWAKI:
(1)The World Ain’t Gonna End In 2012!!
(2)Even If It Does,There’s Just Not a Whole Helluva You Can Do About It,So’Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!!’.
(3)There’s no point in stockpiling weapons and non perishable foods and distilled water!!
If TEOTWAKI does happen;again,there’s just not a whole helluva lot you can do about it;so just put your head between your legs and Kiss Yer Bohunkus GOODBYE!!!
(4)If you wake up and see 666 on your forehead;again,Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!!
It’s not the Mark Of The Beast!!
Instead,while you were asleep-or passed out drunk!!It’s your thang!!Do what you wanna do!!!-your kids had some fun with a Red Magic Marker!!!
(5)”Don’t Fear The Reaper”by Blue Oyster Cult would be a pretty cool thing to write on an Artillery Shell heading for a Taliban Stronghold!!!
(More Cowbell!!).
“Get Nekkid;Blow The Evil Weed and Kiss Your Teachers!!”
-Wolfman Jack.

Walter Cronkite

]]> By: Friday the 2013th http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-98600 Friday the 2013th Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:19:30 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-98600 Screw the pseudo-intellectual discourse. Why isn't anyone commenting on the how cool and ridiculous the trailer is?! I want to see monks with uzis jet skiing tsunamis; seeing-eye golden retrievers ditching their owners and leaping to avoid the crumbling earth below (making it in the *nick of time*, every time); fundamental environmentalists crushed by giant sequoias and buffalo/elephant stampedes; Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff performing "Nightmare on My Street" aboard a cruise ship shortly before being submerged; Richard Simmons falling into a volcano; Dog the Bounty Hunter, the host from "Dirty Jobs," and Lance Armstrong bicycling their asses off to get to the "chopper" in time-- only the Dirty Jobs guy makes it, but an ill-timed golden retriever leaps in and fatally weighs them down; LOLCats, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Richard Gere's hamster wielding a paper towel tube, Tim and Eric, Chuck Norris and Jared from the Subway commercials stuffing as many Big Macs as he can down his piehole. Tagline: Not even MacGuyver can save you now. This movie is simultaneously shit and THE shit. I have officially been sterilized by the trailer. Mazel tav! :) Screw the pseudo-intellectual discourse. Why isn’t anyone commenting on the how cool and ridiculous the trailer is?!

I want to see monks with uzis jet skiing tsunamis; seeing-eye golden retrievers ditching their owners and leaping to avoid the crumbling earth below (making it in the *nick of time*, every time); fundamental environmentalists crushed by giant sequoias and buffalo/elephant stampedes; Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff performing “Nightmare on My Street” aboard a cruise ship shortly before being submerged; Richard Simmons falling into a volcano; Dog the Bounty Hunter, the host from “Dirty Jobs,” and Lance Armstrong bicycling their asses off to get to the “chopper” in time– only the Dirty Jobs guy makes it, but an ill-timed golden retriever leaps in and fatally weighs them down; LOLCats, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Richard Gere’s hamster wielding a paper towel tube, Tim and Eric, Chuck Norris and Jared from the Subway commercials stuffing as many Big Macs as he can down his piehole.

Tagline: Not even MacGuyver can save you now.

This movie is simultaneously shit and THE shit. I have officially been sterilized by the trailer. Mazel tav! :)

]]> By: getcruunkk http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-94955 getcruunkk Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:56:52 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-94955 Remember New Years Eve, 1999, when everybody was freaking out thinking "Oh fuck! Y2K! The world's going to end at midnight!" Well what happened? Not a fucking thing, and I'm sure we're all going to be pretty disappointed when nothing fucking happens on December 21, 2012. Remember New Years Eve, 1999, when everybody was freaking out thinking “Oh fuck! Y2K! The world’s going to end at midnight!” Well what happened? Not a fucking thing, and I’m sure we’re all going to be pretty disappointed when nothing fucking happens on December 21, 2012.

]]> By: DH http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-93258 DH Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:17:56 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-93258 "I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information" Erm... I know it's an automated bot posting but... “I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information”

Erm… I know it’s an automated bot posting but…

]]> By: reviews http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-87779 reviews Wed, 20 May 2009 12:20:45 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-87779 I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information :) I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information :)

]]> By: tip http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-87778 tip Wed, 20 May 2009 12:19:53 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-87778 Your site looks great! Best of luck to you. Your site looks great! Best of luck to you.

]]> By: Bree http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-81308 Bree Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:02:32 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-81308 So why isn't Nicolas Cage starring? So why isn’t Nicolas Cage starring?

]]> By: cx2i3 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-80411 cx2i3 Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:11:00 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-80411 I---I understand now. Bee Movie: it is the harbinger of the apocalypse. Jerry Seinfeld: he is the destroyer of worlds. I—I understand now.

Bee Movie: it is the harbinger of the apocalypse.
Jerry Seinfeld: he is the destroyer of worlds.

]]> By: Blaine http://www.cracked.com/blog/2012the-realistic-edition/comment-page-4/#comment-79471 Blaine Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:29:06 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=5958#comment-79471 I googled "why is this movie called Bees" and I didn't get a damn hit. All I got was that crappy Jerry Seinfeld movie and empty forum pages. What a jip. I googled “why is this movie called Bees” and I didn’t get a damn hit. All I got was that crappy Jerry Seinfeld movie and empty forum pages. What a jip.

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