I don’t know much at all about Roland Emmerich’s (The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, Godzilla, 10,000 BC) latest piece of apoca-schlock 2012, other than that it’s based on the vague assumption that the Mayan calendar calling for “a great shift” means tidal waves will kill us all.
Of course, with the ice caps melting faster than butter hurled defiantly at the sun, that prediction may turn out to be accurate. Here’s hoping that’s not the only Escape From Los Angeles-related prediction to come to fruition.
While we’re waiting to see if the Mayans knew what they were talking about, or if Snake Plissken will end up deactivating all of the world’s technology, here’s a preview for a movie that predicts a much more plausible 2012 disaster.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The thing at the end telling you to google “why is this movie called ‘Bees?’” is not a legitimate instruction, but rather a parody of the nonsensical instruction at the end of the original trailer (linked in the article). Normally I wouldn’t spoon feed my readers, and would instead simply laugh at all the time people wasted searching for something that’s a complete non sequitor, but it was brought to my attention that some malicious Internetters have taken advantage of people searching the term and set up some impromptu malware sites. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
When not inviting international sanctions, Michael serves as head writer for and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under 2012, Armageddon, Mayans, Roland Emmerich, Uncategorized, Video. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 13th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Just saw this movie today. It was absolutely amazing! I have to say Im think all the hype and the idea of the 2012 apocalypse was worth it just to get this movie made. It’s the best thing that will come out of the whole idea
July 25th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Okay.If the world’s gonna end@12:01AM,January 1,2012;
put in a CD(or 45 or LP if you have a collection of vinyl)of
“Ride Of The Valkyries”by Wagner@11:55PM;December 31,2011
and turn the volume to”Give The 90 Year Old Man Down The Street Who’s B17 Was Shot Down Over Germany in 1943 and Spent Two Years In a POW Camp in Poland a Massive Coronary!!”
and wait for the end of the world as we know it!!!
If TEOTWAKI*(The End Of The World as We Know It)doesn’t happen,boy are you gonna be embarrassed!!!
Anyway,after reading both the Book of Revelations in the Holy Bible and The Bhagavadad Gita’s”Now I Am Become Death,Destroyer of Worlds”;movies where Will Ferrell
showed his bare behind(Once-’Old School’)as well as running around in his underwear(Twice-’Anchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy’and’Talladega Nights:The Ballad of Ricky Bobby’)on screen;the recent deaths of Farrah Fawcett;Michael Jackson and
Walter Cronkite;Six Flags bringing back the creepy old man in their commercials;Evangelists involved in Sex Scandals in the last 20 years(Five-Jim Bakker;Jimmy Swaggart;Paul Crouch;Ted Haggard and Tony Alamo)and Nadya Suliman-aka The Octomom-
getting her own reality show;I’ve come to the following conclusions regarding TEOTWAKI:
(1)The World Ain’t Gonna End In 2012!!
(2)Even If It Does,There’s Just Not a Whole Helluva You Can Do About It,So’Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!!’.
(3)There’s no point in stockpiling weapons and non perishable foods and distilled water!!
If TEOTWAKI does happen;again,there’s just not a whole helluva lot you can do about it;so just put your head between your legs and Kiss Yer Bohunkus GOODBYE!!!
(4)If you wake up and see 666 on your forehead;again,Relax Mr.Angryslax!!Pat The Kitty and Do The Avoid Dance!!
It’s not the Mark Of The Beast!!
Instead,while you were asleep-or passed out drunk!!It’s your thang!!Do what you wanna do!!!-your kids had some fun with a Red Magic Marker!!!
(5)”Don’t Fear The Reaper”by Blue Oyster Cult would be a pretty cool thing to write on an Artillery Shell heading for a Taliban Stronghold!!!
(More Cowbell!!).
“Get Nekkid;Blow The Evil Weed and Kiss Your Teachers!!”
-Wolfman Jack.
Walter Cronkite
July 18th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Screw the pseudo-intellectual discourse. Why isn’t anyone commenting on the how cool and ridiculous the trailer is?!
I want to see monks with uzis jet skiing tsunamis; seeing-eye golden retrievers ditching their owners and leaping to avoid the crumbling earth below (making it in the *nick of time*, every time); fundamental environmentalists crushed by giant sequoias and buffalo/elephant stampedes; Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff performing “Nightmare on My Street” aboard a cruise ship shortly before being submerged; Richard Simmons falling into a volcano; Dog the Bounty Hunter, the host from “Dirty Jobs,” and Lance Armstrong bicycling their asses off to get to the “chopper” in time– only the Dirty Jobs guy makes it, but an ill-timed golden retriever leaps in and fatally weighs them down; LOLCats, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Richard Gere’s hamster wielding a paper towel tube, Tim and Eric, Chuck Norris and Jared from the Subway commercials stuffing as many Big Macs as he can down his piehole.
Tagline: Not even MacGuyver can save you now.
This movie is simultaneously shit and THE shit. I have officially been sterilized by the trailer. Mazel tav!
June 19th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Remember New Years Eve, 1999, when everybody was freaking out thinking “Oh fuck! Y2K! The world’s going to end at midnight!” Well what happened? Not a fucking thing, and I’m sure we’re all going to be pretty disappointed when nothing fucking happens on December 21, 2012.
June 12th, 2009 at 3:17 am
“I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information”
Erm… I know it’s an automated bot posting but…
May 20th, 2009 at 4:20 am
I used this site to get information for that i had in my class. This is an excellent site for this information
May 20th, 2009 at 4:19 am
Your site looks great! Best of luck to you.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:02 am
So why isn’t Nicolas Cage starring?
April 15th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I—I understand now.
Bee Movie: it is the harbinger of the apocalypse.
Jerry Seinfeld: he is the destroyer of worlds.
April 9th, 2009 at 8:29 am
I googled “why is this movie called Bees” and I didn’t get a damn hit. All I got was that crappy Jerry Seinfeld movie and empty forum pages. What a jip.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:08 am
[...] what is this whole 2012 thing, besides the premise to a new apocaplyptic Roland Emmerich film? Well, you’ve heard of the Mayans, right? Yeah, those people that sacrificed people in crazy [...]
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:02 am
Topless girls jump from airplane… Woohoo, pert nips!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8e71e69f4b3e36627fce
January 18th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
The 5 Most Ill-Advised D a ting Sites on the Web —- Perhaps you’ve heard of ____TallMingle.COM___ ?
January 16th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
@withknivesout: …umm, that was the Aztecs who were wiped out by the Spanish…
January 14th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
My favorite comment about the 2012 crap was a friend saying “Shame the Mayans couldn’t predict the Spaniards wiping them out…”
January 12th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
People gotta stop commenting on how the whole tidal wave thing is completely unrealistic and realize that it is just for entertainment. Im pretty sure Emmerich doesn’t actually believe this is going to happen.
January 12th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
ur mom’s a dick too, swaim
January 12th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Such bullshit. If all the ice in the ocean and polar ice caps melted tomorrow the world’s oceans would rise only a few hundred feet, not miles. And in order to get waves like that, the moon would have to be much closer. Like REALLY CLOSE. Like, close enough to where it’s more of a an asteroid going to destroy us all by ramming into our planet instead of being a moon and causing huge and also impossible waves of water.
Honestly, who would listen to Roland Emmerich? The man put Will Smith in a film about aliens and explosions. Even worse, he got Dennis Quad (and somehow his chin) on the big screen and ruined the sexiness that is Emmy Rossum. Bastard.
January 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Damned malicious internetters. Have they no shame? HAVE THEY?!?
January 12th, 2009 at 6:07 am
China is a dick, yo.
January 11th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Go bicker somewhere else? Ok, why didn’t you take your own advice? Or was calling everyone here an idiot not bickering in your opinion? Ass.
January 11th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
On the ranting arguments about global warming in the comments section:
1. Current models projecting the Earth’s climate change due to global warming show Europe falling into another ice age as a result. And that’s the first bad thing. So stop talking shit about Al Gore if you didn’t even watch his fucking film.
2. I don’t think global warming spells imminent death, but shit will indeed change, and we need to take steps to cut back on the obvious causes of the climate change, if not to save ourselves (because we’re not most at risk) then to save amphibious species (and the predators that eat them) that ARE at risk.
3. I live in Michigan. As a child, it was snowing in mid-October, and we were hoping that it wouldn’t snow on Halloween, and/or that the snow there was would melt. In more recent years, it hasn’t snowed until the end of November. So don’t tell me that temperatures aren’t changing.
Global warming is real, but it isn’t going to kill us all, probably just extinct some species that most people don’t know exist anyway. So both sides in this comment section are acting like idiots. Go bicker somewhere else, and just leave a comment like,
“Oh that movie looks awesome!”
or
“That movie looks as shitty as The Day After Tomorrow”
January 11th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Regardless of what the Mayan civilization meant when they only made their calendar up to 2012, I think we can all agree that they could’ve stopped long before that, as they haven’t been using it much since that whole “culture-and-most-of-their-people-being-annihilated” thing.
January 11th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Denial you really are a retard. In most places Temps. have been perfectly normal, here where I live it was the same as it was 30 years ago. Mild in the Spring, hot in the Summer, skip fall, and cold in the Winter.
Ice melting my ass, the Ice has been growing this year smart one.
Natural disasters is a crock to, there has been less Tornadoes, Earthquakes, Hurricanes, etc. this year than any other year in the past decade.
January 10th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Hvymtalmachine, that is the most intelligent comment with regard to this dumb little subject to hit the comments section yet. I like your style!
January 10th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Ooh, I meant “an end,” of course. Lord, save me from the grammar Nazis!
January 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Has anyone considered the distinct possibility that 2012’s “great shift” was the Mayans putting and end to their laziness and starting to work on their calendar again?
January 10th, 2009 at 5:51 am
In all probability the universe will eventually be unable to sustain life.
It’s basic physics. Nothing to worry about.
Besides, chances are you are religious. In wich case, aren’t you supposed to be happy? God and all that, or maybe you haven’t managed to delude yourself entirely yet. Keep it up though. Nothing like a little fear to keep you grasping at straws despite better judgement.
January 10th, 2009 at 12:01 am
The Mayan calendar doesn’t say the world will end. Some say that it says there will be a great change. Others point out that it’s just that the Mayan’s only made a calendar up to 2012. So technically, there’s nothing about the end of the world.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Howdy… people who say things like, “our calendars and years are way off,” and offer no proof or backing to the statement are usually full of shit. Are you full of shit, Howdy? And apparently there are “100 different ways” the Earth is going to end. Do you mean that in 2012 it is going to end in 100 different ways? Or do you mean that there are 100 different ways it is supposed to end and by believing one of those ways the people you are referring to are idiots? Howdy, basically what im saying is: What the fuck are you talking about and why are you rambling out bullshit that no one cares about without backing it up?
Oh yeah, and Fuck Tibet. Do your thing China.
January 9th, 2009 at 6:46 am
seriously, guize, i know i’m just LOL a commenter on a comedy website LOL but seriously LOL the wrold is gonna come to an LOL end, the mayanz told me so, and we all know LOL how many accurate predictions they have made, so lets prepare for lots of water, like the mayans said there would be.
lol.
January 9th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Man, poor Tibet.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:17 am
first off our calenders and years are off from the myans second off people look to hard into things to scare us or themselves whatever. look at 2000 all technology was suppose to shut down…didnt happen 9/11/2002 anniversary attack….didnt happen 6/6/06 devil kills us all… didnt happenthis jus goes to show how gullible everyone is. scientists are makin plans for 2020 already they would probably kno if somethin like that was guna happen since there are so many different feilds of science to study the earth the climate space all that. if one little thing happens in 2012 everyone is guna flip cuz the world is ending right? plus if you look at the 100 different ways its suppose to end theres no possible way you guys can believe this. grow up
January 9th, 2009 at 2:07 am
I’m a little confused the mayans believe that in order for the sun to come up on some days, you litteraly have to sacrafice a man by taking out his heart…. what makes them right about this?
Use your fucking brains you fucking idiots, nothing is going to happen in 2012.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:57 am
Also: LOL, 588 diggs
http://www.cracked.com/article_16583_p2.html
January 9th, 2009 at 1:56 am
December 21, 2012, will be the date the Large Hadron Collider causes a rip in time, causing that mass-collapse of society — and human life at all — caused by everyone from that point escaping to the “better” past, as far back as they can.
Thanks, Cracked, helping me realise the Mayans saw that time fucks itself and decided to toss down the chiesels themselves.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Artic, first of all life expectacy for my generation is 120 years estimated and 2nd of all im not worried about myself as so for future generations.I still predict 50 to 60 years til the end but if it comes before so be it.
January 8th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Turjkish: While your reasoning may hold for much of the arctic ice cap, Greenland and Antarctica are landmasses largely covered in ice which are not currently displacing water. If/when this ice melts we are boned.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Hey yeah that’s right Turjkish. All the scientists saying they will must have forgot about Archimedes’ principle. Thank god we have people here on a comedy site who know better than them eh?
Either that, or you’re wrong because not all the ice in the world is floating.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Ever hear of Archimedes’ principle?
The sea levels aren’t going to rise.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
And to actually comment on this article:
Come on hollywood, honestly, a tidal wave? is that REALLY the best you could do? -.-’ so disappointing. and the real end of the world will be charles manson’s prediction — the helter skelter race war. which at the rate we’re going (not just america either people, all over) will probably be about 2012.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
saadsads, you’re an idiot. honestly, i really hate slamming people on the internet, but you’re comment is retarded. the “rascally arabs” broke the cease fire first, and killed innocent israeli civillians. the israellis, in turn, issued a statement that they were going to kill every person associated with hamas. that was a warning, unlike the us, or any other western nation for that matter, israel does not issue a second warning. ever. not to say that killing the violators relatives, especially children, is justified, but there was a warning, and it was not just a mindless bombing or that retarded excuse that you put out. so as much as i hate to be the one to say this…cut off your internet connection, you’re obviously to retarded to have the luxury, and you’re polluting this COMEDY site for everyone else.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcRmkhD_91M&feature=channel
January 8th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
China= “rich fat kid” I believe you were talking about the US good sir or madam.
China is more like the villain in a movie who had a terrible childhood and is now taking it out on everyone else.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
IT’S CALLED BEES BECAUSE OF THEY’RE ALL DYING, AND WITH THEM, US.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
USA is the the dick country. Seriously, we are. Along with Israel. LALALALA WE’RE GONNA BOMB A SCHOOL AND THEN SAY THOSE RASCALLY ARABS WERE HIDING BEHIND KIDS IN A BLATANT LIE THAT NO ONE IN THE WEST WILL LOOK AT CLOSELY LALALALALALA
January 8th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
yeah, China is like that fat rich kid from school that everyone pretends to like just so u can go over to his house and play with kick ass toys. fuckin China!
January 8th, 2009 at 11:37 am
China is SO Chinese.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:26 am
clownshadow, you’re not really very perceptive about what China does on a day-to-day basis, are you? China very much DOESN’T keep its dickishness to itself. Otherwise, they’d give back Tibet stop trying to make Taiwan flinch, and actually, I don’t know, stop acting like a general dick in the international market.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:26 am
USA is the biggest dick, atleast chinas keeps it to herself =)
and im not from china
January 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I always search for these sorts of things, or follow ridiculous links, just to see what the author has added as an extra feature
Unless they appear to be malware sites, then i leave them alone
I’m often disappointed by a poorly thought out “why did you go here to an obvious gag?” or worse, nothing at all.
much better is a carefully designed uncyclopedia article.
on a completely unrelated topic, I would like to take this opportunity to express my outrage at the practice of kitten huffing, which is becoming more and more popular in some of the American states south of the great lakes. you can read more about this abhorrent practice here:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kitten_huffing
Join us in protest against this form of animal cruelty
January 8th, 2009 at 6:57 am
@MJ-89: Well said. Thank you.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:49 am
They don’t allow you to have bees in prison.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:48 am
SeanMan just says 50 or 60 years cause he’ll already be dead by then. But i agree with. DaVinchi or one of the ninja turtle predicted around them too.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:42 am
USA is a dick.
Laugh with that.
PS: And I am not Chinese.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:25 am
I truly don’t believe the world is gonna end on Dec 21 2012 because one the mark of the beast (666) has not been used yet and thats gonna be the BIG sign thats lets people know the ends near and Jesus is coming down and two in the Bible it says that only GOD knows when the end is gonna come, not the Mayans. My personal prediction will be around 50 to 60 years from now but could be sooner or later.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:17 am
CavalierX, I couldn’t care less if you think everybody else is wrong. It just pisses me off when you or (anybody else) turns the comments section into a fucking forum. There is an actual forum on this website. Go and use it. Link to your post if you’re that desperate for attention, I don’t care! It’s so simple and yet for somebody who seems to think they’re an expert in absolutely everything you have a lot of trouble grasping the concept.
After this being suggested to you umpteen times and many, many people telling you how annoying you are I hope you get the hint.
Now can we just get back to telling Swaim how brilliant he is already?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:59 am
LEAVE CHINA ALONE!
January 8th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Perfect! And it rhymes! Use it Cracked!
January 8th, 2009 at 1:38 am
China is a dick. Bees! I love it. I love it so much I want to punch all the people arguing about global warming (more than usual, I guess I mean). I think we should be talking about bees. Or if we have to have a stupid flamey argument, can’t it be about whether calling China a dick was racist? That at least sounds funny! Anyway good work Swaim!
You’re not allowed to have bees in here.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:30 am
I’d fucking surf that shit….
January 8th, 2009 at 1:29 am
More specifically, China’s a chode.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:22 am
@IT’S THE SUN, STUPID
-So are we gonna lynch the sun or just keep taking this bologna!?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:19 am
“CHINA IS A DICK” made me laugh so hard I almost died. Expect a lawsuit soon, Swaim.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:09 am
The fucking Mayans weren’t known for their fortune telling.
They were known for EATING PEOPLE.
Nothing is gonna fucking happen that year except a bunch of people flipping the fuck out. It’s just the end of the calender. Did you predict the end of days when you changed out your 2008 calender for your new 2009?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:04 am
Its all about the sycle of the moon, people!
Bees.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:02 am
global warming = melting ice caps and rising sea levels = lots of dead and displaced people
rising sea levels = increased cloud cover = higher albedo = less heat from sun
less heat from sun = colder temperatures = more precipitation (including snow)
global warming eventually = new ice age
January 8th, 2009 at 1:01 am
Fuck yes that was absolutely brilliant swaim!! Seriosuly, that definately made my day =D good work!!
January 8th, 2009 at 12:47 am
About the sea ice, ice melt and global warming things:
http://www.dailytech.com/Article.aspx?newsid=13834
This article talks about the sea ice levels, the usefullness of the measurements, and the reversing of temprature trends.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Glad to know the poles regaining massive amounts of ice in the last year and the highest record of sea ice ever since they started measuring it equals “melting ice caps”. I was a little confused there, but it’s clear now! This cold ass ear was totally global warming.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:18 am
So what I gather from all this discussion is that people on the internet that post comments > scientists.
Thats right everyone, people that spend years conducting experiments and maintaining a reputation (your dumb if you think scientists don’t argue amongst themselves) are not as smart as people that do *insert job/whacking off at home* for a living.
Sure science nerds have an “Agenda”. EVERYONE HAS A F**KING AGENDA! The way that word gets thrown around it sounds like anyone that has ideas or a plan to: Make life better for everyone, make life better for themselves, rule the world, inane conspiracy to increase funding for themselves that doesn’t make any fucking sense, qualifys as an agenda. Want to have subway for lunch? F**k you and your lunch time agenda!
Seriously, just post helpful comments like: First link is a virus (thanks for that btw) and try to keep rants to the websites filled with people that think anyone cares.
Side note: People are wrong on the internet. Who cares?
January 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Cracked.com: Dick jokes and serious political debate since 1958.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
So tonight on the nightly news they reported December ‘08 was the COLDEST December in the past decade. Al Gore had no comment.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Don’t blame china for trying to give its people what you have. Unless your computer runs on some magical electricity, you would want power no matter the consequences.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I’ve read/scanned the first full page of comments, all of which to some extent address our nation’s/the world’s global warming debate, and I have to say that, judging based on what I have just read, we, homo sapiens, are totally fucked. No one on either “side” of the debate has anything more than a fact or two straight. I believe that we are overheating our globe and that this is a short term problem. The evidence for this conclusion exists is ample. And, yet, everyone, who in theory agrees with me, is so fucking dumb and inarticulate that even I don’t believe them. The rest of you who are hoping to be proven right through old-fashioned “common sense” are even more stupid. Read a book before you jaw uselessly. Example: “Well, shit, I never seen so much snow in–choose state–in all ma’ life. Where is global warming here? Hucka hucka huh?” Is that all you people have?
January 7th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Up in Canada, it was the only time since 1943 that every capital of every province got a white Christmas. record-breaking low temperatures across Canada have been popping up like crazy. Already this winter, 400 000 people in the Northern Hemisphere have died of cold-related issues (gone up by 100 000 than the usual [Calgary Herald]).
YAY GLOBAL WARMING!!!
I’m just wondering too. If the world is getting warmer, why are we blaming the world? How about we think about… I dunno, maybe the place that gives the warmth… the sun?!?!?! When my bedroom gets hot, I don’t blame my bedroom.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
China is a Dick.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
About the whole ice in the water bit… it assumes that all of the ice is already in the water and that’s just not the case. I’m pretty sure there argument is that most of the antarctice ice is located on land and not on the water. So, that makes your claim baseless. Additionally, the ice in the glass isn’t exactly a closed system as there is a small but signifcant amount of vapor that escapes from the glass.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
The ice caps are melting and oceans will rise? Get real. Fill a glass with ice, then top it off with water. Mark where the water line is. Let the ice melt then see where the water level is. Rising sea levels my @ss.
People seem to also forget that the sun’s solar activity and Earth’s temperature are closely tied.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
denial your a moron, record-breaking temps EVERYWHERE? sorry but no, and there has been no increase in the number and magnitude of disasters only the media coverage, get your facts straight
January 7th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
All of you are in huge denial! Anyone noticing anything unusual happening recently? Oh yeah, increase in number and magnitude of natural disasters, record-breaking temperatures everywhere (here in Sacramento we skipped Fall), and… Oh yeah, all the ice is disappearing! WEIRD, HUH? Anyway, I see the downfall of man much later than 2012… Probably 2020… If we continue to look at global warming as a good topic for jokes.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
problem is all you retards, mayans had their own year. they did not know of jesus christ. as everyone is following the year of jesus’s birth. mayans created there own year, now stop bitching about it
January 7th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Uhm, when you google “why is this movie called bees” the top few hits are reported phishing sites. What gives?
January 7th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Personally, I get weary of all this ‘gloom and doom.’ Considering the fact we’ve been given Doomsday Dates before, and have shown little or no evidence supporting said doom.
Remember the 2000 Disaster, everyone claimed the digital age would end and civilization would be ruined because of the short-sightedness of our computer experts. Yet, nothing happened.
As for the Mayan calendar, who knows how accurate it really is? We could be misinterpreting the date from 2012, to where it could represent two million and twelve, since I know our numeric system is slightly different from theirs.
And if it does occur, what are we going to do? Like with Hurricanes, all you can really do is prepare and weather the storm.
January 7th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Here you can watch the trailer in HD (720p):
http://hdpreview.blogspot.com
January 7th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
For some reason my computer wont let me see the image so I’m just going to assume that 2012 involves Tom Cruise getting stabbed by his little baby Suri, thereby allowing the evil lord Xenu to attack the earth.
Or someone could tell me what it is actually depicting.
January 7th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
@greengoddess, “I love global warming. I’ve been in flip flops and a tank top all winter here in Georgia and it fucking ROCKS! ”
Amen to that. I’ve done the same here in LA ( Lower Alabama).
I don’t wear tank tops though. Short sleeves shirts and shorts. and flip flops.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
“Beads.”
“BEES?!?”
“BEADS!”
“BEADS?!?”
“Gob’s not on board.”
January 7th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
What if . . .
the videos on this website . . .
actually played through to the end . . .
without buffering every two seconds? . . .
My internet connection’s a dick.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
In Spokane right now, they’re shoveling an extra 40+ inches above average worth of global warming off their driveways.
January 7th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
No, China is a cock!!! Get it? Because it’s shaped like a rooster?
January 7th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Was that music from The Shining? Or the same person who composed it? Because it sounds very similar…
On another note, I’m not going to get into a debate over global warming on cracked.com, ktnx
January 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
It’s not colder-than-average winters that make me want to not believe in global warming. It’s the fact that each year for the last 10 years or so, the world overall has cooled a bit. While certain ground-based temps have gone up a touch (here’s a hint: Move them out of the expanding cities, THEN see what they say!), satellites tracking the overall temperature of the earth say otherwise. Since the satellites are a little more objective (again with the putting the thermometers in heavily populated areas), I’m going to have to go along with those.
January 7th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
What is that music played?
January 7th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
I’m always confused by those internet posters who think they know better than all the scientists who specialise in that area. There is a scientific consensus on global warming. http://logicalscience.com/consensus/consensus.htm
CavalierX, your ice cube in a glass idea isn’t just an oversimplification, it’s wrong (cos of the land-based ice as was already explained).
The glaciers are melting http://www.geo.unizh.ch/wgms/mbb/mbb10/sum07.html
From your posts arguing about how this year being the coldest of the decade or it being a very cold day in England today show that you are unable to understand that climate change is a trend, and that climate and weather are not the same thing.
I would like to add, anyone who compares global warming to a religion is an idiot.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Anyway, good show Mr Swaim, Good show.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
CavalierX has been licking my main beam from galley to crow’s nest while he browses the net, actually. He’s a talented multi-tasker, especially since I bought him a rubber shield for the keyboard. It keeps him from worrying too much when he multi-tasks.
He’s actually away from the keyboard now, using a towel, but maybe he’ll return.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I think I’ll wait til 2013 to watch it.
January 7th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Stevie, the world being compared to a cup of water is retarded. That said, the inverse effect of cold water in the ocean is already a proven one. Everything else is theory. And by the way, i said EVERYONE has an agenda. That would include myself.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Well, economically speaking…I don’t think being more energy efficient and recycling goods is really economically detrimental. Most companies and farms have been doing this for decades for purely economic - not environmental - reasons. Less raw materials means lower cost of production/operation. Might cost a bit initially, but probably a good investment in the long run.
And FYI, I am dead against the biofuel lies the media feeds everyone. Biofuel production is shitty for both the economy and the environment, nor are they much more effecient than fossil fuels.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
“I have to go drink heavily in the hope of erasing that picture from my brain now.”
Make it a Bud Light
January 7th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
“Don’t believe everything you see online, or any other media for that matter. Everyone has an agenda.”
What the hell? How can someone say that any evidence against you is based on an “agenda”, and then cite specific sources?
I don’t mean to call you out JOey, but you’re the only one who out right said it. You said the ice and cup theory “half-baked”, but where’d you get your information? That of course, global warming will lead to global cooling and so on and so forth? Because it couln’t have come from any sort of media whatsoever. They have an agenda. But maybe you conducted your own experiment. I bet it wasn’t half baked, either.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
“Don’t. I’m doing this AND jerking off right now.”
I have to go drink heavily in the hope of erasing that picture from my brain now.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
As of this day, I shall incorporate the term apoca-schlock into my daily vocabulary
Thanks a lot, Swaim
January 7th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
“I kinda feel sorry for those of you who can only do one thing at a time, if you really want to know.”
Don’t. I’m doing this AND jerking off right now.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
“and glaciers are growing weather you want them too or not Bear… they are simply melting faster that growing”
Are you kidding me? That means they are shrinking overall, you dolt.
PS It’s “whether” not “weather”
January 7th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
guys just chill, if you want to argue about global warming then go do it on a site WITH A COMMUNITY THAT CARES
January 7th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
“Like waiting for people to respond and saying something snappy back. . .for 5 hours. .?”
Cracked is one of the half-dozen web sites I keep open on my “goofing off” machine, which I check in between working on several others. I kinda feel sorry for those of you who can only do one thing at a time, if you really want to know.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Like waiting for people to respond and saying something snappy back. . .for 5 hours. .?
January 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
“And when Cavalier X said: “I’ll stop commenting when people stop posting lies.” that was fucking hilarious. I do hope you were kidding, dude, or the internet is going to give you an ulcer.”
I’ve got a hobby for life.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
“if the north thaws thats a 30 foot rise in sea levels”
No. You might want to do a little research into that. Algore’s insane rantings have been thoroughly debunked. It’s more like 30 centimeters. But it probably won’t happen, in any case — the earth seems to be entering a cooling phase now. Too bad; we were just getting back to the way things were before the Little Ice Age. Must have been those Vikings and their damned SUVs that kept things so warm back then.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Surely we’ll all imminently melt.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
CavalierX needs a girlfriend
January 7th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
You know, I typed in “Why is this movie called ‘Bees’ and I got a Link to ‘Bee Movie’ Meh…..But Yeah, if the tides do shift, it’s really gonna suck..
January 7th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I love global warming. I’ve been in flip flops and a tank top all winter here in Georgia and it fucking ROCKS!
Also, FUCK YOU Swaim! I Googled “Why is this movie called ‘Bees’?” and clicked on the first site, only to have my internet security inform me that it just fended off a virus. Apparently the unsavory internet element has already jumped on the popularity of the phrase.
Sorry about the fuck you. I was retarded to click on the link with gibberish in it…
And when Cavalier X said: “I’ll stop commenting when people stop posting lies.” that was fucking hilarious. I do hope you were kidding, dude, or the internet is going to give you an ulcer.
Also, funny post.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
“I’ll stop commenting when people stop posting lies. It always amuses me how people of, shall we say, a certain political bent can’t stand to have anyone disagree with them. “We must find a way to block CavalierX,” indeed.”
CavalierX, I understand your attempt at humor, however I must inform you that I am as sceptical as you are, and am also a “liberal”. I don’t think this is a political issue. The evidence is becoming irrefutable, that even if we have colder than usual years, or ice seems to be spreading, something is definitely changing. The question is whether or not it is man made. I happen to think not. But I do think you are very misinformed. Don’t believe everything you see online, or any other media for that matter. Everyone has an agenda.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
‘But no, the ice on the land is still losing mass, guy.”
Not entirely true. The ice sheets in Greenland, the Antarctic and the Himalayas are thickening in parts while thinning in others. No one has completely measured the amount of ice in those places. And they’ve only been measured at all for the last 50 years — let alone reliably and comprehensively, both of which are still impossible. The point is that we have hardly scratched the surface of climate science, and have only begun to collect a tiny bit if the data. To give in to the hysterical global warming cultists and crash our economies with almost no evidence that it might have any beneficial effect would be sheer madness.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
its not ice its water stupid… not ice
and glaciers are growing weather you want them too or not Bear… they are simply melting faster that growing and Cavalier its getting warmer there is no debating that its weather we are causing it or not thats the debate. either way we need to get on it if the north thaws thats a 30 foot rise in sea levels… if Antarctica Glaciers melt thats 200 feet…
January 7th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Actually, glacial melt causes Antarctic glaciers to accelarate since more water runs underneath the glacier. But no, the ice on the land is still losing mass, guy. There are several studies that show this. Sea levels have also been rising steadily for the past century. So please tell me how that is happening if it’s not from glacial melt and Antarctic ice.
But please, if you care to claim that the ice on the land is growing, provide me with a reference.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
“We simply must find a way to block CavalierX when he starts responding to every second post. Yes, you heard me CavalierX. You suck!”
I’ll stop commenting when people stop posting lies. It always amuses me how people of, shall we say, a certain political bent can’t stand to have anyone disagree with them. “We must find a way to block CavalierX,” indeed.
January 7th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
you really want to know what’s going to happen December 30th 2012?
absolutely nothing
end of discussion
January 7th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
“That’s also sea ice specifically, which means part of the extension is from glaciers moving more rapidly off of the landmass into the ocean because of glacial melt.”
The glaciers move out into the ocean because… wait for it… the ice on land is growing. That’s what causes glaciers to move. And speaking of global warming, anyone notice that the sea around England froze over today?
http://tinyurl.com/78wlln
January 7th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Hmm, I have two very important things that I have to say.
After reading the comments I’d like to point out that the Google reference because I cannot resist Googling something when told to. It has nothing to do with understanding the joke. Although I do love how popular that phrase just became to Google.
Secondly, and more importantly, could somebody please implement accounts to comment on the blogs?. We simply must find a way to block CavalierX when he starts responding to every second post. Yes, you heard me CavalierX. You suck!
January 7th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
That’s also sea ice specifically, which means part of the extension is from glaciers moving more rapidly off of the landmass into the ocean because of glacial melt.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Ice “extent” refers to AREA not MASS. So all in all, they are still losing mass. Find me a study that says the actual MASS of the ice is increasing and I’ll rescind my statement. You do know the difference between AREA and MASS, right?
January 7th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Apparently Mike doesn’t read much beyond what’s on “Cracked”.
http://www.dailytech.com/Article.aspx?newsid=13834
January 7th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I’m pretty sure that in 2012 Gladstone turns 200 so maybe that’s what they’re talking about?
Oh and nice video. Unfortunately some stupid film called “Bee Movie” stole all your Googles.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
CavalierX. For that half baked “experiment” to work you would need to fill the glass with water and ice and then make sure the ice breached the surface of the glass significantly. Then see how much overflows. Oh, and flooding isn’t the biggest threat. The change in weather systems brought on by the addition of so much cold water will cause much worse issues including an inverse effect of the warming we are seeing now. Basically freezing temperatures year round. Anyway thanks for the lolz.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
This April 08 report, from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, might interest some of you:
http://tinyurl.com/93859e
“According to the National Snow and Ice Data Center, the April 2008 Northern Hemisphere sea ice extent, which is measured from passive microwave instruments onboard NOAA satellites, was below the 1979-2000 mean, but greater than the previous four years. … Meanwhile, the April 2008 Southern Hemisphere sea ice extent was much above the 1979-2000 mean. This was the largest sea ice extent in April (17.5 percent above the 1979-2000 mean) over the 30-year historical period, surpassing the previous record set in 1982 by 4.1 percent. Sea ice extent for April has increased at a rate of 2.5 percent per decade.”
So sea ice was down in the northern hemisphere, but is on the increase, while sea ice in the southern hemisphere has been increasing all along.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
You people arguing about these 2012 Apocalypse theories have really missed the point: this video is funny!!!!
January 7th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
“Whether global warming exists or not, I was merely pointing out that your ice in a glass analogy was a piss poor and oversimplified view of the situation.”
Of course it was oversimplified. This is Cracked, not a scientific journal. If you want a scientific look at something like the sun’s actual role in global warming/cooling, for instance, you have to look at mind-boggling mathematical shit like this: http://www.middlebury.net/op-ed/equation.jpg
January 7th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Haha, lol at Jbluemast.
Speaking of global warming, I honestly don’t see the fuss. Just look at our past. Back in the 70s the same people whining and pissing about global warming now were whining and pissing about global cooling, because all of the crops would freeze over. After everyone get good and excited about global warming, they’ll use the phrase “climate change”(which has already begun), and then say “Oh me, Oh my, it appears warming was the first stage, now we’re on to cooling. Switch from using those reusable bags, we have to save all of the material we can. Use paper bags instead, those are much safer.” It all goes in a cycle so people have something to moan about, get over it.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
@JBlue: I’m well aware of that. And the guy who developed the 2012 “formula” certainly wasn’t an idiot. He was actually a brilliant mathematician. But the problem is he tried to make purely subjective interpretations seem concrete by developing a formula around them.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
And the studies you reference about the ice sheets growing merely point out that they are becoming thicker in their central regions. Numerous other confirmed studies will show you that these ice sheets are still actually losing their total mass.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Whether global warming exists or not, I was merely pointing out that your ice in a glass analogy was a piss poor and oversimplified view of the situation.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
BearMan, the fact that Antarctic ice sheets (as well as others, like those in the Himalayas and Greenland) are growing means that we really don’t know everything there is to know about the climate, as the global warnming cultists keep telling us they do. Therefore, it would be a really stupid idea to crash what’s left of the global economy chasing some mad scheme to reverse a cyclic warming trend that seems, in fact, to be almost entirely driven by the sun. Even if the cultists get their way, and even if reducing carbon emissions (when CO2 is actually a following, not leading, indicator of warming) cools the planet somehow, we’re already on the cooling slope of the cycle.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Uh-oh….now you’ve fallen below the naked skier. Tell me, how does that make you feel inside?
January 7th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
So…the guy who came up with the double helix was on LSD at the time of discovery. Major league pitchers have pitched no-hitters on acid. Its true….look it up….
January 7th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
oh, and the 2012 thing is really a theory made up by some dude who took waaaaaaaay too many psychedelics and derived a purely subjective mathematical formula to attempt to prove that the world was going to end then.
January 7th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
@Cavalier
No, dear, you’re being an idiot. Antarctica, being made of rock, is not floating. Nor is the kilometre-thick ice sheet on top of it. This is why rivers flood from meltwater in the spring EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE MADE FROM WATER TOO HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN OH NOES?!?!
Jesus fuck. I’m all for scepticism about global warming, because you’re right that for some people it’s almost as much religion as it is science. But Christ, try to make sense at least some of the time, would you?
January 7th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
This website has alot to say about the 2012 subject
http://www.litefx2012.webs.com
January 7th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
You know what could save the planet for sure destruction? Joe Cotten’s music. Listen to it.
2009 will be the year grunge comes back!
January 7th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
A lot of Antarctic ice is on land and not displacing water either, so it too could contribute quite a bit to the ocean’s volume.
January 7th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
If you don’t have the patience to refute something you’re a waste of bandwidth. If you can’t refute it, it’s valid. Standard internet rules.
January 7th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@CavalierX: That may hold true for polar ice caps, but you also have to take into account the many receding, melting glaciers which are landlocked and currently don’t contribute to the volume of the oceans. And glaciers are receding faster than ever.
As for the 2008-2009 winter being the “coldest winter” in a decade, that all depends which region of the world you are talking about and does not relate to the earth as a whole.
January 7th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Why is this movie called “Bees”?
January 7th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Truth hurts, huh, hisownspace? The more evidence is found that discredits the myth of anthropogenic global warming, the more the proponents of this twisted religion — cause, really, that’s what it is — scream “STFU!”
January 7th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I agree, China is a dick.
January 7th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
The Snake Plissken allusion made my mother fucking day!
January 7th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
So, on Google’s hot trends USA, “why is this movie called bees” is now number nineteen. Excellent!!
January 7th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
awesome…
floding tibet…
gwuahahahahahaha…
January 7th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i don’t even have enough patience with such stupidity to even rationally refute it.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
omg, cavalier, STFU.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Oh, and one more thing — melting ice caps would not lead to catastrophic flooding. Try filling a glass with water and ice to the rim, let the ice melt, and see how much spills over.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
“Of course, with the ice caps melting faster than butter hurled defiantly at the sun”
I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Sea ice is now at the same level as 1979. In 2007 the Antarctic ice sheets reached record size. And the winter of 2008-09 is predicted to be the coolest in about a decade.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I think it would be even better if there were scenes of Shaolin Monks (teaming up with the Dalai Lama) fighting back.
Ooh, oh, then switch to Osama Bin Laden showing up in New York with a fantastical nuclear suicide bomb contraption (resembling an anime mech), threatening the destruction of the Great Satan. Japanese schoolboys and schoolgirls with mysterious powers join forces with the Shaolin[s?] and U.S. military to take down the dual threats. Osama is roundly defeated as he realizes that the Soviet-era contraption doesn’t even work, and that the nuclear material has been replaced by Chicken McNuggets. The Chinese at first are beaten by the joint Mahayana/Japanese forces, but then the ghosts of Lao Tzu, Siddhartha Gautama (a/k/a the Buddha), and Confucius team up to teach all parties involved how to reach satori. Having been enlightened, they move to the U.S., which is now fighting the Canadian Mounties for control of the newest, most efficient power supply: maple syrup. The Mounties are led by Bucholz. The warring parties learn that there is enough syrup for everyone, and there is a giant pancake breakfast–sponsored (of course) by Boy Scout Troop 391. Cut to the Middle East, where the ghosts of Abraham, Moses, and Muhammad tell the various peoples to stop their damn fighting and live in harmony. The people instead decide to call the Ghostbusters and get rid of the religious figures. With Armageddon close at hand, Jesus Christ descends from the Heavens and, after making a quick stop to eat some delicious pancakes (with fruit on top), enlists Spiderman and Christian Bale to help stop global warming. Al Gore gets jealous and activates the Doomsday Device, but realizes the error of his ways when world’s leaders join in harmony to sing “Come Together” by the Beatles.
Then Michael Swaim comes on screen and dances naked, in a field of poppies, for forty minutes. Cut to Jesus, Buddha, Moses, et al. covering their eyes with their hands and shaking their heads. Fin.
Actually, that idea sucks. Forget that I ever said it.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Hilarious
I LOVE non-sequitors. Thanks for making my day SWAIM <3<3<3 Will you have my babies one day?
January 7th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
For those confused. There is a link to the real movie trailer at the beginning of the article. Click the 2012 in the first paragraph.
Very Funny. Always look forward to seeing your videos.
So…. HURRY UP AND GET THE NEXT ONE OUT!!
lol…just kidding.
But not really, get your ass in gear.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Wow. I don’t know whether I should feel powerful or ashamed.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Here’s a link, as well.
http://www.google.com/trends/hottrends?q=why+is+this+movie+called+bees&date=2009-1-7&sa=X
Well done, Mr. Swaim, you are currently more popular than a “man hanging from a ski lift.”.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I agree on several points.
1. The whole 2012 thing is rediculous, nothing is going to happen, if the Mayans could really predict the future how come they didn’t foresee their civilization getting wiped out?
2. China is a dick.
3. That monk totally got pwned.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
“why is this movie called bees” is currently the 26th most popular searched term on Google today.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I regret not making the text at the end:
“Find out the truth. Google: “What? Bees? I…I don’t understand.”‘
Then I think people would get that it’s just a non sequitor, and not try to look further. Sorry everyone.
Also, I’m commenting way too much on my own thread. I’ll go do something now.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
jeffisfckinnuts:
I had a question about that (as I assume you are an authority). I’ve heard that thing about the poles switching, and how it’d kill everyone…so how did the dinosaurs exist for millions of years? How did all these other species stick around so long, if everyone’s sure we’re going to get wiped out after only kicking around for like 500k? And if it happens every 100,000 years, shouldn’t it have happened to us by now? After all, we’ve been on Earth for longer than 100,000 years…admittedly, there wouldn’t be any recorded history, but you’d think there’d be evidence of such a cataclysmic event in our genome, geographic dispersal, and even geophysically.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Actually, the polar icecaps have been seeing a speedy recovery this past year. The previous year was bad, but I believe we’re back to better than we were BEFORE last year.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I googled why the movie was called bees. I got no answer.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Seconded Drifter 1717…that’s probably in my top three comedic scenes of all time. I used to watch just that scene over and over, trying to figure out why it was so fucking funny.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
OMG dude that movie totally ROCKED
http://www.web-privacy.pro.tc
January 7th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Well, actually the “great shift” refers to the theory that every 100,000 years or so, the polarity of the earths poles shifts. Meaning, north will become south and south will become north. This is recorded to have happened in other not-to distant planets and if such an event did occur, it would also disrupt the tectonic plates that line the earths surface.
So what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, we would pretty much be screwed. North America could become Antarctica, illegal immigrants would try smuggling themselves into France only to get there and say “What’s this shit??” and Australia might end up the biggest continent yet leading to the ever-annoying phrase “That’s not a continent, now THIS is a continent!” [1]
[1] total speculation.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Bees Michael?
January 7th, 2009 at 11:22 am
drifter 1717….i love you. AD reference, A+ in my book.
Oh and China IS a dick.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Does Roland Emmerich know about some bizarre physics thing that I don’t? If the Himalayas are being swamped with water, everything else is already under.
Who is the guy trying to warn with his bell? Everyone else who is at a lower elevation is already swimming for their lives.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Sorry Swaim I love most of your shit, but this was kinda weak.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Funny shit.
Since so few here seem to get it, maybe you’re just a visionary? An artist ahead of his time, perhaps?
Meh, whatever.
For those of you who didn’t get it: When you see the actual trailer in the theater, you’ll think back at this and laugh.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:51 am
haaaa swaim is cracking up laughing at all the idiots that are confused at why they couldnt find anything when they googled lmao
January 7th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I almost choked on my drink watching that.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Calling China is always cause for hilarity, I just think you suffered from the fact that not that many people are really familiar with the 2012 trailer. The only reason I’ve seen it is that I saw someone do the exact same video, only about the possibility of Sarah Palin running in 2012. But we still love you, Mikey Swaim.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Honey just got funny? I don’t get it. You know I don’t think I am the only one either Swaim. I actually did google it and got the bee movie website. So unless Jerry S is going to get buddy-pal-sport-chief B Gates to pay China to attack those monks (who were clearly excited for the new outdoor pool/amazing mountain waterslide) in the trailer I just don’t get the connection. Also, why does china want to wreck the monks house? use the land for a coffee shop? Is this a new buddy comedy to protect grandmas house from an evil chinese corporation? Dammit, now I am just going to be disappointed in the actual movie.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:13 am
What? Swaim, normally I love you and all that, but.. what.. was that?! O__0;
*runs off crying*
January 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Eh?
January 7th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Escape from LA is fantastic, just please don’t let us have a President for Life who strongly resembles Bush! Snake Plissken can deactivate my technology any day…
January 7th, 2009 at 9:25 am
2012 would also make a great preview for the opening scene of ‘Surf Ninjas 2: kung tsunami’.
and also, if you replace the monk with a pair of hot blonde twins in bikinis you got a great coors light commercial.
January 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Not the bees!!! NOT THE BEES!!!!
January 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
i googled that nothing came up but stuff about jerry seinfeld Akeelah and the bee
January 7th, 2009 at 9:18 am
BEADS?
January 7th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Well bees?
Because of the supposed fact stated in X files and only GOD knows where else, that if Every bee in the planet dies we all gonna die?
Tied up with the Michael Moore effect, maybe the tides get all crazy and want to kick some Chinese arses to compensate for global karma growth..
In any case we would all be spagetified by some cataclismic cosmic fuck leaving us no choice but to merge up with comunism, al quaida, your mom and the finally found remains of Jimmy Hoffa in a space smaller than a spot on a Japanese train.
Until then, lets all watch Oprah and pray for the Oil price to start climbing again so my share stock rockets, so I don’t have to work for the rest of my life..
January 7th, 2009 at 8:59 am
I googled that, what has a shitty movie with Senfield got to do with all this
January 7th, 2009 at 8:57 am
…
Fuck you Swaim. Meh to you. I still love you. But your balls should ascend in shame.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Meh.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:35 am
lolwut?