The Top 5 Nooners: #2 The Greatest Video I Have Ever Seen In My Entire Life
This week, while Ross is in the mountains of Mexico training for his new role as a Cracked columnist, we’re counting down our favorite Nooners from five to one. And while number one is our favorite for sentimental reasons, this may be the greatest video Ross ever commented on.
Awesome Video Of The Day
Dancing Man Wearing A Horse Mask Cooks Wild Mushrooms (Probably NSFW)
This is the greatest video that I have ever seen in my entire life.
Hang on a second. I have to go get a mop - my head just exploded.
Yes - it’s a video of a mostly-naked Japanese man picking and cooking wild mushrooms. Yes - he’s wearing a horse mask and dancing. Why? That I couldn’t tell you. People do all kinds of weird stuff, I guess. When I cook wild mushrooms that I’ve hand-picked from the forests of Japan, I like to hum along to popular radio hits and make little farty noises with my mouth. Does that make ME a freak?! So I like to hum and make little farty noises. Big deal. We’ve all got our quirks - this guy’s just so happens to be that he likes to dance around naked in a horse mask while cooking potentially deadly wild mushrooms. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Okay, I’ll admit it - this video is completely fucking bizarre and makes me more than a little uncomfortable, but you know what? This guy is PUMPED to be cooking those mushrooms. He looks like he’s having the time of his life! Maybe it’s the expression on the horse mask faking me out… or maybe this guy is on to something. Maybe dancing around naked in a horse mask and cooking wild mushrooms is AWESOME.
Only one way to find out, I guess. Anyone got a horse mask I can borrow?
January 24th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Should I be scared I recognized the first song as Kefka’s Theme from Final Fantasy 3/6?
January 24th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
This is by far the most interesting sequence of somebody cooking I’ve ever seen. It even had instructions(in japanese, but you can clearly see it said Step 1, Step 2, Step 3…)
Cook shows should learn something from this, I bet the ratings would go sky high, even if it’s just people who don’t mind about the cooking and just keeps staring and wondering: “What the fuck??”
January 24th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I’m so confused… it all made sense until Thriller started playing…
January 24th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I got a whole closet full of animal masks and foreign fungi, Ross. Take your pick.
January 24th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I think you can get a horse mask from Germany.
January 24th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Wow. That’s it, just wow. Apart from ‘that’s it, just.’ And that. And so on.
January 24th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Then there is the gas mask he’s wearing between his legs
January 24th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I swear there’s a shop you can buy men’s thongs like that.
He looks like he’s forgotten to properly fit his Borat bikini.
January 24th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I thought the opening was from the original sondheim production of Sweeney Todd? Could we both be right?
January 24th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Please God, Ross don’t ever show that shit again. I ‘ve had a high fever for the last two days , it finally breaks , I come to and find out Heath Leger and Micheal Swaim are dead (though Swaim apparently came back)and see this Japanese horse headed mother fucker, with a gas mask on his crotch, dancing around cooking mushrooms. That video disturbed me and that is not easily done. The only part of that video that had any redeeming value
was when the giant eagle swooped in and carried the horse headed mother fucker off to mushroom oblivion to the soundtrack of Thriller. Wait, I guess I imagined that last part, Oh well that was still the coolest bit.
January 24th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
am i the only one who got hungry watching that?
January 24th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Looks like he tried a few of the mushrooms beforehand: it would explain the deranged behavior, while the lack of clories would explain his creepy anorexia.
January 25th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Sorry, I meant to write ‘CALORIES’.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:06 am
The mushroom he picks in the woods appears to be a species of Amanita, close to pantherina. This fungus would be fairly poisonous, although not deadly. Boiling it in water, if that is what he did, would detoxify it (probably). The intoxicating property’s would also be removed, leaving behind an insipid tasting mushroom. (I won’t tell you how I know this). None of this makes sense, especially since he didn’t remove the dirt from the base of the mushroom before cooking it and eating it We need a translator.
January 25th, 2008 at 3:32 am
Is it possible? that it makes sense if you can read the japanese? I’m thinking ‘no’ but maybe.
January 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I can see where you’re coming from Gladstone, but I think the MIDI format and the fact the he’s is a weird Japanese guy would make sense that the guy would be playing Kefka’s theme. And, anyone that’s played the game knows Kefka was a weird mother fucker too.
January 25th, 2008 at 8:32 am
This is what I like about the internet. You think you’re jaded. I’ve seen it all, you say. Then the internet replies, fuck you, you haven’t seen this before, and poof, naked, horse-head man cooks wild mushrooms while dancing.
De-jading, that’s what this is.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Isn’t that the end battle music, not “Kefka’s theme”? you know, that sort of goofy sounding song that plays every time Kefka is around, and somehow manages to sound both goofy and fucking evil a few moments in…
Not trying to be a nitpick, just wondering… Also I’m not a Japan freak, I fucking hate anime and I think FF VI is the only FF worth playing.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
It is DEFINITELY the end battle music to Kefka, after you destroy the statues and he descends from the heavens like a winged, vengeful god.
Also, Wild_Marker, if Rachel Ray or some other mainstream person tried this, American society would shame her into oblivion.
Unless she skipped the horsehead an only wore the thong….
January 26th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I’d watch Rachel Ray cook mushrooms with nothing but a thong on, Hell Yeah!!!
January 27th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Hmm horse head, final fantasy and risky cooking… This looks familiar…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP4cmV_fIQM&eurl=http://kotaku.com/341351/final-fantasy-potion-with-added-vomit
Ah, that’s the one.
Apologies, I am html-illiterate.
January 27th, 2008 at 4:39 am
Er, simpler link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP4cmV_fIQM&eurl=
Duh, me.
January 27th, 2008 at 5:02 am
In Japan they legally sell “shrooms”
January 29th, 2008 at 11:46 am
RCC: I babel-fished the title of that other video on the link you provided. Title translates to “Hyposulfite - Shaun it tried making.” naturally I just had to Google “Hyposulfite”, which (according to Wikipedia) turns out is “also a synonym for the thiosulfate ion”. Ok, so now I link to that, which leads to the link- “Thiosulfate ion General Chemistry Online, Frostburg State University”. It’s on this site that they state…”Thiosulfate is an antidote for cyanide poisoning. …”
I guess the point of my comment (besides proving I have way too much time on my hands) is this… If there is some sub-culture in Japan based on Final Fanatsy potion making that is inspiring it’s followers to ingest homemade poisons and antidotes then Al-Qaeda is looking a little less scary to me right now. Just saying…
Of course, what with responding to this post so late, no one will probably even read this.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
You forget, lbh, that most people that come to this site have way too much time on thier hands and will check back at old posts. Good bit of information too and a bit scary. It kinda makes me think a little differently about all the hours I’ve spent playing Final Fantasy games.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Mr. THE Guy: “…It kinda makes me think a little differently about all the hours I’ve spent playing Final Fantasy games.”
I think you’re OK as long as you weren’t using a gas mask as an athletic cup while playing.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
If a gas mask is not an appropriate cup, then I don’t want to know what is.
January 30th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
then I guess I don’t either. Play on !
February 21st, 2008 at 3:58 am
Does no one else see this for the subtle adaptation of Midsummer Night’s Dream that it truly is?
May 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am
[...] sunglasses and jumping into pants get all the internet fame while more deserving characters (like the naked Japanese guy cooking mushrooms) fall by the wayside? I’m going to take a guess: It’s because people are more likely to [...]
May 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am
[...] for me to say “I’ve come to love constantly scouring the internet for videos of naked Japanese men in horse masks cooking mushrooms,” let’s face the facts: writing Nooners is a great way to pay off a gambling debt to [...]
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I met a black friend on http://www.bigblackconnect.com/, we talked about Chinese Earthquake, he said he was so sorry to hear that, he wanted to help them and adopt several stricken children. Best wishes for Chinese people now.
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
He is cool. But I am very curious. Why did he post his profile on a celebrities and wealthy website named
“LovingRich.com”. What is he looking for there?
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Thats a pretty good one. To me, the best video that I’ve seen (and it is especially hilarious for those that have traveled in Japan, China or southeast Asia) is this one. Travel
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
This should have been number 1.
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
@FollicleMan, your 3:58 post made my day. Kudos to you, sir.
And why the fuck isn’t there an English translation to this? I can do the whole horse-head/gas mask thong/picking mushroom/dance like a freak thing, but once I get in the kitchen without a recipe I can read the shrooms might not come out right.
As for Rachel Ray, I’d fuck her all day long if her vocal chords were removed. Maybe that was one of the steps I couldn’t read.