First of all, kudos to the marketing wizard who came up with the headline to this article: “Study Reveals Daily Show a Lot Like O’Reilly.” I can’t think of a headline better formulated to pull in the surfing 18-35 year old liberal male, except possibly “Cast of Saved By The Bell Reunites For Halo Tournament Against World’s Largest Tits.”
What does this mean, grabby headline? Has Stewart betrayed his loyal fanbase and become a frothing Conservative man-baby with a bad combover? Has O’Reilly pulled a reverse-Dennis Miller and become suddenly, inexplicably reasonable? Have you ever actually seen The Daily Show? You get that they’re jokes, right? And that that other asshole’s serious?
Before you start freaking out and replacing the picture of Stewart over your mantle with one of Colbert, know that this intensive “journalism think tank” consisted of a bunch of guys watching a year’s worth of Daily Show episodes and concluding that they have the following things in common:
And even the last one is unverifiable. Frankly, the news to me here is that there are think tanks that involve watching a year’s worth of Daily Show episodes. Of course I originally assumed that by “think tank,” they meant Jerry and Ryan, the interns who agreed to stay late and know how to use bittorrent.
But NO. This study was performed by none other than the Project for Excellence in Journalism. They’re based in Washington, too, so you know they’re legit. And gentlemen, if I may address you directly: I want in.
What are my qualifications? Well, right now I get paid to read about celebrities I hate and come up with witty things to say about their genitals. As such, I’m already vastly overqualified for your project.
Especially with your director throwing out nuggets of insight like “The Daily Show makes serious political commentary, but they use humor to do it.” And my personal favorite “They’re not making jokes about Dan Quayle is dumb or Gerald Ford is clumsy.”
Really? Because I’m pretty sure the April 18th, 2008 episode was centered largely around footage of Ford missing a golf swing and comically falling onto the green. Plus, didn’t last night’s “Back in Black” have a bit about Quayle’s 1988 White House bid? He yelled about it, I think.
My point is, pay me to watch The Daily Show, you out-of-touch cocks.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael upholds the credo of the Project for Excellence in Journalism with zealous ferocity as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
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- The Stages of a Human Life: 408 Years Ago vs. Today - September 24th, 2008
- This Movie Features Jon Voight, James Woods, Gary Coleman and Bill O'Reilly. How Does That Happen? - September 18th, 2008
August 13th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
John Stewart stopped being funny about a year ago. Even Colbert isn’t as good as he used to be.
I wonder what they’ll make fun of once Obama is president and the house is mainly democratic.
May 19th, 2008 at 5:07 am
Did you honestly think a comedy actor who played a role opposite Adam Sandler in Big Daddy was going to handle himself well on Crossfire?
May 18th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Because you thought he was a serious newsreader?
May 18th, 2008 at 12:46 am
I pretty much stopped watching Stewart after he got owned that time on Crossfire. That and the writers strike demonstrated that he and Colbert were really just actors saying lines.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:53 am
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
May 15th, 2008 at 6:52 am
True dat, Gary; both my alleged sense of humor and Cracked’s consistent quality are highly subjective.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:06 am
“If I didn’t have a sense of humor I wouldn’t be reading this website on a regular basis, now would I? ”
Debatable.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Actually, dude, I wasn’t being particularly serious. If I didn’t have a sense of humor I wouldn’t be reading this website on a regular basis, now would I? You may feel free to calm down now.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
“Colbert is a fucking genius. I would’ve loved to see O’Rielly’s private reactions to that bloodletting after the show. He probably had to hire double the number of young male prostitutes to clean his pipes. I can just see him reporting nervously to a hologram of Satan (with Hanna Montana slithering around the foot of the throne) much like Vader to the Emperor. Fucking Republicans.”
And all this time, I thought jokes had to be… you know… funny. Guess I can just throw that shit out now; bitter, angry, ignorant venom is the way of the future.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
There goes racist Swaim again. Don’t “Swaim” with the sharks! Get it? Also, I believe the world’s biggest tits to be those of the statue of liberty. I’d hit that… then my penis would break of because fucking metal would definitely crush it or at least give me a bad case of tetanus.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Sorry I accidentally navigated here by searching for “touch cocks”
I apologize for the inconvenience.
May 14th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Colbert is a fucking genius. I would’ve loved to see O’Rielly’s private reactions to that bloodletting after the show. He probably had to hire double the number of young male prostitutes to clean his pipes. I can just see him reporting nervously to a hologram of Satan (with Hanna Montana slithering around the foot of the throne) much like Vader to the Emperor. Fucking Republicans.
May 14th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Although I have a Colbert mantle I don’t really remember having a Jon Stewart.
May 14th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
““Cast of Saved By The Bell Reunites For Halo Tournament Against World’s Largest Tits.”
If someone doesn’t start writing that article right now, there’s going to be a problem.”
As long as there is pictures.
May 14th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
All of which Swaim hates.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Where the fuck am I? I must have gotten lost to on my way to the Klan party.
As a White Christian Republican I wish I could quit you Swaim, but I like the way you’re put together. I must not be hating enough Homos, Jews, or Negros…
May 14th, 2008 at 11:46 am
“Cast of Saved By The Bell Reunites For Halo Tournament Against World’s Largest Tits.”
If someone doesn’t start writing that article right now, there’s going to be a problem.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:40 am
I tend to vote conservative and even I thing O’Reilly’s a giant douche
May 14th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I replaced my Jon Stewart mantle-piece with Stephen Colbert a long time ago.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Sigh…Bill O’Reilly thinks that he’s funny, and you can see both Stewart and Colbert amused by him. The weird part is the crew people in the background that you can hear laughing.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:47 am
On a January day when traditional newscasts led with severe winter weather gripping much of the country, “Stewart began his show by pondering what drink would be best to wash down a Jimmy Dean pancake and sausage on a stick,” the study said.
The verdict: Gatorade.
How much do think tanks get paid to do stuff like this?
May 14th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Let’s put it this way… the Daily Show is so awesome, it get’s aired and watched in the Netherlands!
May 14th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Actually, jokes tend to have two parts: a) setup, b) punchline. The Daily Show does a good job at setting up its jokes so that you don’t need to have much specific knowledge of daily events.
As a Canadian, I learned a lot about US politics and issues from watching the Daily Show. I always get the jokes despite the fact I rarely watch US news.
May 14th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I agree the Daily Show is a great show, and while it may be the first place certain people are hearing certain news items. It is definitely not a source of news regardless of how great Jon Stewart is.
May 14th, 2008 at 8:25 am
awesome, Swaim.