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Help Me Ruin Dilbert!

by Michael Swaim

Newspaper comic strips have had a rough time lately. From bizarrely hilarious and subversively scathing internet parodies to straight-up Internet-hate, they seem to only be funny to us anymore when we’re using meta-humor to point out their idiocy. That’s why it was an act of the utmost faith in the goodness of mankind for Scott Adams to allow users to generate their own punchlines to his daily Dilbert strips.

You can view my first round of attempts below, but I’m officially requesting all Cracked Blog readers to get on this. I want to see you guys outdo Scott (and me), and do it with so many dick references and with such frequency that his servers crash out of disgust. You have your assignment, people. Post links to your masterpieces in the comments section.


When not blogging for Cracked, Michael glares at the people outside his window as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!

EDITOR’S NOTE: For those interested in taking Mr. Swaim up on his challenge, we’ve created a forum thread here so that you can show off your work instead of just linking to it.

33 Responses to “Help Me Ruin Dilbert!”

  1. dajumbles Says:

    “I appear to be badly sunburned”

    Classic.

  2. fragg's Ghost Says:

    Fart jokes for everyone!

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/search/?StripID_Parent=3121

  3. Wendy Says:

    Every time I signed in http://www.bigblackconnect.com/ and there were always many women would talk to me … It is a funny and interesting place to talk to these thoughtful women.

  4. Scott Says:

    I checked out http://www.bigblackconnect.com... I hate to be judgemental, but those women are sluuuuuts!

  5. fragg's Ghost Says:

    Let me try that again…(my previous link is incorrect)
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4688/

  6. fragg Says:

    Alright, a few more: a little darker and more likely to win a Webby.
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4744/
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4749/
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4754/

  7. Sandman Says:

    Beat that:

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4769/

  8. chiemilin Says:

    I imagine if The Office had a comic strip, it would be a lot like Dilbert. Just throwin’ that out there.

  9. Michael Swaim Says:

    Dammit, is there any fart joke I won’t laugh at? Excellent.

  10. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    Dammit! I have to wait to get a registration e-mail before I can share my family-friendly humour with the Dilbert-world.

  11. Robb Says:

    This whole registration email thing is taking forever, i mean, really, i have been dead for a year due to tax purposes and i am still waiting for the damn thing to come in

  12. Sandman Says:

    kingmonkey & robb:
    Your comics better be damn funny to make up for all your whining.

  13. Robb Says:

    Damn you Sandman, i am now going to doubt if mine is funny or not..
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/search/?StripID_Parent=2935

  14. Ross Wolinsky Says:

    Been there done that:

    http://www.hypocriticalmass.org/blog/dilbert-is-not-funny.htm

    Also:

    http://www.hypocriticalmass.org/blog/the-lockhorns-arent-as-funny-as-they-used-to-be.htm

  15. Stretch Says:

    We need to start a thread on the forums with this

  16. fragg Says:

    Robb: I learned the hard way. That link you posted will not take you to your comic. You have to get to your comic, then click on it, THEN you have your link. It is a convoluted and difficult process.

    Good luck finding your comic again!

  17. Robb Says:

    I have one more, and i am sure it is nowhere near as amazing as anything everyone else has come up with, but hell, i am bored.
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/search/?StripID_Parent=2934

  18. Robb Says:

    Ok ok, i am an idiot today, here are the real links

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4817/

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4813/

    thanks for the heads up Fragg

  19. Michael Swaim Says:

    If someone does start a forums thread for this, please link us. That’d probably be an easier way to do it, on account of the image embedding capability.

  20. Michael Swaim Says:

    fragg, I wish you wrote Dilbert.

  21. Michael Swaim Says:

    Sorry for posting a ridiculous amount, but I was just made aware that our super-handy editors have created a forums thread like the one I describe. See link at the bottom of the post.

  22. Jester21 Says:

    Here’s mine. All DOB fans must vote for me! (please) http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4848/

  23. Ranger Rick Says:

    You’re 4 years too late: http://please.leisuretown.us/dilhole.html (very NSFW)

    According to the internet wayback machine those go back at least to the middle of 2004.

  24. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4854/
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4857/
    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/4859/

    I’m trying to ruin it for you, Swaimarino.

  25. Bacalao Says:

    Dilbert? More like DILDObert! Am I right or what? Also, chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!

  26. The Butcher Says:

    I am so, so confused by this post. Since when has the Dilbert strip ever needed help in destroying itself? All you have to do is let Scott Adams continue to write it. It will keep degrading on an exponential level until nothing is left but office humor based entirely off of how the characters interact with office supplies (Dilbert gets “curious” about the electric pencil sharpener, anyone?).

    Trust me, none of you can destroy this thing any faster than it’s founder.

  27. glendoor42 Says:

    I read those Garfield minus Garfield comics and the first three or four were kind of funny, but, you know, the more I read the more I realized what a pathetic sad motherfucker John Arbuckle is. Even if you put that stupid cat back in the strip, Arbuckle is still pathetic as hell
    because Garfield can’t really talk anyway or Arbuckle is crazier than he seems because he thinks he can hear his cat’s thoughts.

    He’s almost as pathetic as me commenting on a fat talking cat at 2:30 Thursday morning.

  28. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    There sure are a lot of weird Garfield tributes/parodies/slash fiction on the internet, aren’t there?

  29. Bacalao Says:

    Yes.

  30. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    http://dilbert.com/mashups/comic/5187/

  31. John Says:

    (If You Are Easily Offended…..Then do not CLICK THERE!)

    You may check out more sportsmen and celebrities’ profiles with hot photos on the famous and largest dating site ~~~Tallhub.c om ~~~, where many tall models, tall sportsmen and tall admirers flirting.

  32. TwatMuffins Says:

    Fragg, your LOLcats spoof slays my soul. Props.

  33. Jack a Says:

    Why Dilbert, Dilbert is the cream of comic strips, floating atop a sea of excrement. Cant we focus on Family circus or Garfield?

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