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Haitian Weather Reports Are Unhelpful, Baffling And Awesome: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

by Ross Wolinsky

Pretty Much Everywhere, It’s Gonna Be Hot

What’s the matter, buddy? Are you all bummed out because it’s Monday and your weekend is over and you’re back at work, typing away in your little cubicle and drinking bitter office coffee while that bitch Grace - you know, the one in the next cubicle over - is blathering on and on about how touching last night’s episode of Extreme Home Makeover was? Did your boss just drop by to remind you that he needs that Powerpoint presentation by 3 o’clock, and that he wants it to have “pizzazz… but not TOO MUCH pizzazz”? Are you sitting there now, trying to figure out how to give pizzazz to a Powerpoint presentation about latex glove sales figures, and beyond that, if you actually do manage to give it some, how to know if it’s TOO MUCH pizzazz? Are you thinking about how much it sucks that you have to actually think about this crap while defeatedly double-clicking the Powerpoint icon?

Yeah, yeah - your 9-5 is sucking your soul and people aren’t made to live this way under harsh fluorescent lights and college-doesn’t-prepare-you-for-this-blah-blah-blah wah-wah-wah-boo-hoo-sob-sob. Loud & clear, lil fella - life is hard. I GET IT. I feel for you, though, and that’s why I’m posting this video today. Jobs are tough and Monday sucks and all that, but if you watch this video a few times in a row I can pretty much guarantee you’ll be in a better mood than you were when you started. Seriously - try it. I’ll wait right here.

Feeling better yet? I thought so.

As an added bonus, this “related video” of Arnold Schwarzenneger flipping out is pretty awesome, although what it has to do with a Haitian weather report is completely beyond me.

16 Responses to “Haitian Weather Reports Are Unhelpful, Baffling And Awesome: The Daily Nooner (EST)!”

  1. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    You didn’t see how the Arnie video was related? Listen to the Haitian weather report. The woman says she won’t need a jacket. The guy laughs. I don’t see how much more clear I can make it.

  2. GMan Says:

    I imagine this is how Arnold reacts in his office when he gets bad news. Everyone in California had better keep voting for him or the murder rate will double in 1 day

  3. newslamp Says:

    You’re right. That did cheer me up! Thanks!

  4. Professor THE Guy Says:

    Well, at least you didn’t disable commenting on the blog by unregistered users… That’s all i gotta say.

  5. Onodera Says:

    I’m a registered user, but when I try to post on blogs, I’m logged off even though my name and e-mail are already there for me…

    Anyway, I really appreciated the video. I think that weather man wanted to kill that bitch, but then he felt obliged to laugh at her “witty” banter. That is my least favorite part of news anchos. They must not talk to people as they seem awkward as hell whenever they say something that’s not teleprompted.

  6. Bruce182 Says:

    Pretty much everywhere, this is funny.

    Thanks Ar….Ross.

  7. The Duke Says:

    now THAT’S a daily nooner

  8. BingoThreat Says:

    I only had to watch it 2 times before it worked. Hahaha.. thanks.

  9. Namorgasm Says:

    “So I won’t need my jacket.”

    “*stoney silence*”

    “hahahahahaha :D”

    That did cheer me up.

  10. Sean Says:

    I’m sick of that Haitian weather guy video. I’ve seen it a million times.

    Just kidding. It’s impossible to get sick of that video. Anyone who doesn’t immediately crack a giant smile after watching it is a fucking prick and should be immediately ostracized.

  11. CourtneyB Says:

    He obviously forgot he was on television, was prepared to go over there and shake the hell out of that woman for sassing him. Luckily, he remembered the camera in front of him just in time and saved himself with his enchanting laughter. There. You obviously need the relation spoon fed to you.

  12. Alyssa Says:

    First of all - AWESOME. I accidentally started it with my volume off and turned it up right at the point of his HEHEHEHEHEEEEEE creeper laugh. Fucking AWESOME. Then I re-watched it 5 times, laughing wildly, as the lady in the cubicle in front of me kept clipping her fingernails. Bitch.

    >awkward silence here<

    Secondly - How much money (or do they just use livestock in Haiti?)…goats…do you wanna bet that the jacket wearing skank got thrown into a volcano after that?

  13. Andy Pants Says:

    There is no such thing as too much pizazz!

  14. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    You’ve never heard of pizzazz overload, Andy? It induces seizures.

  15. Hamish Says:

    Who the hell wears a jacket in Haiti? I’m pretty sure the awkward silence was him trying to figure out what a jacket is… Then hilarity because he has never worn one in his life and he knew it was going to be fan-friggin-tastic when he finally got to bludgeon the last traces of life from her decimated corpse. Er. Maybe he was being polite. One or the other.

  16. Darkness Says:

    I prefer to go along with the “bludgeon corpse idea”, if you don’t mind :P

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