Boondock Saints 2: Bad Idea or Terrible Idea?
Well folks, it looks like Boondock Saints 2, (or “Twondock Saints,” as it is called by no one), is seriously on the road to production. The idea has been brought up before, (2002, 2006), but writer/director Troy Duffy seems to think it’s for real this time. For those not in the know, Boondock Saints snuck out about nine years ago to a depressing box office but developed a huge cult following on DVD. The story, about a pair of Irish brothers, (white kind of brother), taking the law into their own hands and ridding the streets of injustice, apparently struck a chord with the movie-watching public.
Not many people know this, but before I was a Cracked Blogger, I was a machete-wielding street vigilante in Rhode Island. True story. Gladstone and I both, actually, spent three years (on and off) cleaning up the wicked streets of “the Ocean State.” If it hadn’t been for my street-vigilante-based ties with Gladstone, in fact, I probably never would have even gotten this job here at Cracked.
[Note: No known photographs of Mace and Machete exist. Below is The Providence Journal’s head artist’s interpretation.]
Left: Gladstone. Right: D.O.B. Not Pictured: Crime.
We’d go around with our weapons, Gladstone with his mace and me with my machete. The press nicknamed us “M&M,” which, admittedly, was slightly more clever than what I wanted to call us, [”Murder: With a Capital GoFuckYourself”]. We made a few headlines and took down some of Rhode Island’s most notorious drug lords and mobsters. Ever hear of the Chechnyan Mafia in Providence? Of course you haven’t. Mace and I took care of them years ago.
You’re welcome.
Anyway, due to my propensity for taking various things into my own hands, (the law, for one. Machetes for another), Boondock Saints really resonated with me. A couple of guys running around serving up hot, steaming justice to local criminals? That speaks to me! I get that. Plus, even if I wasn’t a midnight hero, (which I was), I have a feeling I’d still love Boondock Saints because, at the end of the day, it’s a funny, fresh simple action movie with likeable characters, Ron Jeremy, and a boob.
A winning formula.
All that said, you’d think I’d be thrilled at the prospect of Twondock Saints. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong. You’d be as wrong as Little Zviad, the former head of the now defunct Chechnyan mob, (which is to say, dead wrong). Instead, I couldn’t be more unhappy. Troy Duffy made a good, concise street-hero movie with a great cast and a strong ending- why can’t he just leave it alone? In a world where sequels, prequels and remakes seem to be the only choices, why not stand out and make something new? People loved the first Saints so much, the second one is almost guaranteed to disappoint, and I’m not the only person who feels this way. You know, an overweight nerd with too much power and absolutely zero shame once said “When you do…a sequel that’s very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it’s going to be the Second Coming. And it’s not. It’s just a movie. Just like the other movies. You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up.” And who was that shameless, pudgy nerd? George motherfucking Lucas.
The quote comes from an interview he gave on the new Indiana Jones movie and serves as a preemptive “Eat Shit” to anyone who plans on being disappointed by the latest installment. Now, is George Lucas right or is he, as some writers have speculated, “an overweight nerd with too much power and absolutely zero shame”? Well, he goes pretty far with that quote. He’s basically saying “Hey everybody, this new movie is probably gonna blow but, if you really think about it, the movies that came before it kind of blew, too. Suck it, America.” I’d like to say he’s just cynical, because I’d like to be really believe that Twondock Saints will be awesome. But he is George Lucas, and if there’s one person on this planet who would know a thing or two about disappointing sequels, it would be him.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:43 am
I could not agree with you more
March 27th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Someone’s forgotten the M&M oath of silence. That’s unfortunate. I think the Cracked readers are going to miss you Dan.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Boondock Saints is, of course, an enduring work of genius that will resonate through the ages. It’s obviously superior to other revenge themed films such as Death Wish, Sleepers, and the “Nerds” trilogy. No doubt the sequel will be the smash blockbuster feel good hit of the summer that it’s predecessor was. No doubt at all.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:52 am
I always hoped that Boondock Saints 2 would just stay a rumor forever.
This sucks.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Dudes, you remember the time that those Tokyo-Drifting Biker Gang street punks were all shaking down the shop owners on main street, and they didn’t have enough money, and the punks were all wrecking everything, and then suddenly two guys appeared and messed them up with extreme prejudice? M&M rock.
You remember the other time when…
March 27th, 2008 at 9:17 am
It’s actually kind of amazing that Troy Duffy is getting another movie made at all. Has any one seen Overnight? It’s a documentary about the making of Boondock Saints and all I can say is, damn, that dude is a douchebag.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Smerwing, I only READ an article about Overnight that’s about the making of Boondock Saints and AMEN, I’m filled with an intense loathing.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:50 am
is it just me, or is it completely ridiculous that there is NO mention of the complete brilliancy of willem dafoe!?!? the gun fire fight orgasm is one of the most brilliant things ever filmed, period. except for possibly my birth…
I am not for the sequel, boondock saints is a great movie but it always teetered on the edge of gay…I’m afraid the sequel would push that envelope and ruin BDS for me forever. (bds could also mean bowel delivery system, and I promise it would affect that too.)
March 27th, 2008 at 9:56 am
I read about that documentary too, and he seems like a big douchebag, yes indeed.
Even though Dan O’Brien makes a strong argument, I’m going to give Troy Duffy the benefit of a doubt and wait until I can see the movie.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:13 am
I, for one, feel that if BDS-2 was to drop whatever lame sequelly plot they are planning and ask, no BEG, DOB and Gladstone to input their M&M experiences….well, lets see that movie not make millions and millions of pesos.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:33 am
I know a lot of people that liked boondock saints. Not me though, I hated it.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I will never see this movie. And I will call in Twondock saints out of spite. When will anyone learn to leave a good thing the fuck alone?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:50 am
@petra Not mentioning Willem Dafoe was completely intentional. Dafoe is actually the only member of the original cast (who survived) that will not be returning for the sequel. The only one, evidently, who has any sense. Because of that, I decided not to include him in this largely negative blog post.
@StiffenLimpnickerstein Please. We’re not handing over our story to a Boondocks sequel. Gladstone and I have been approached by bigger names than Troy Duffy about optioning our life story for the big screen. Michael Mann sends me a fruit basket once a month with a letter begging for the rights to our story. Scorsese’s been asking about turning our exploits into a trilogy. Keeps calling it his Godfather. So far, no deal has been signed. Gladstone’s always reluctant about this kind of stuff, (that “oath of whatever” he’s always going on about), and I want to wait on a movie, mostly because I don’t think the technology exists right now to make this movie as explosive, bloody and boob-filled as it has to be.
If you have a solid director, a firm offer, and access to an ocean’s worth of pig blood, we might have to take a meeting.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:05 am
so I guess that means micheal bay is out of the question
March 27th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Dan O’Brien, were you watching me went I went to sleep last night? That could be the ONLY explanation for me watching Boondock Saints last night, and you posting this blog today.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:12 am
You know…when I watched “The Bride of Chucky,” I found out the next day that John Ritter had died…
March 27th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Still looking for the solid director and firm offer, but all good on the pig’s blood.
And by pig’s blood I mean dead baby blood leaking from the unholy womb of that eater of small kittens, Hannah Montana. But you know, blood is blood I think.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I think the success of the new movie would depend on how good the script is and how well it’s filmed. Part of what made BDS so unique was the way each murder was presented/solved in a different way. They have their work cut out for them.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Here’s what worries me, Professor. a) Troy Duffy is kind of an douchebag. b) Due to the huge cult following, the movie is going to make money no matter what. People will see this movie. People will probably dress up in trench coats, jeans and t-shirts with “VERITAS” and “AEQUITAS” tattoos to see this movie. The doors are wide open for Duffy to march in half-assedly and still collect a giant paycheck. Does this guarantee that he WILL make a crappy movie? No. But probably.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Especially since the first movie was fairly meh.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Where did you get that picture of Lucas? Maybe I should say “when”. I’d say he’s about 100 lbs. heavier now.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Am I the only one here who thinks that this WILL kick ass? Do it in classic sequel style: Up the body count, rack up the cameos, increase the villians (Think of a team of anti-Saint’s and their version of Ill Duce on a mission from Satan!) Incorporate some supernatural elements; have St. Michael bless them with powers from the Ark of the Covenant….my God, the possibilities are ENDLESS, people!
March 27th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Yabels–don’t forget the special affects! I think some CGI version of some Doom-style demon/aliens are needed for this franchise…
March 27th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
I’ve never seen Boondock Saints, but I really liked how DOB has perfect rippling abs while Gladstone has one wierdly semi-bulging bicep. Hmmm…
March 27th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Blame Rhode Island’s finest sketch artist, IndiePals.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
That’s me? I thought it was Marcy from Scooby Doo on ‘roids?
btw, loldopt this morning when i saw that pic on my blackberry.
laughed out loud on public transportation.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Who the hell is Marcy from Scooby Doo? There was a Velma on Scooby Doo, and a Marcy from Charlie Brown.
I think you’re getting your androgynous, glasses-wearing super foxes confused, Mace.
March 27th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Ha! I am. I meant Velma. Or maybe I said Marcy, because I was thinking Mace? Not sure. It’s hard to say really. We should probably talk about it a lot more. In the comments. One sentence at a time. That would be riveting I think.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Another view of the original:
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/368/page/boondock_saints__the.html
March 27th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Oh, Gladstone.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I hope the sequel’s at least decent because I can’t watch “Boondock Saints” anymore. It just got worse and worse with each viewing and I’m saying that as a person who loved the movie at first. I blame the Tarantino-inspired cliches. That documentary on Troy Duffy didn’t do much to improve my opinion either.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Could someone spare me having to do actual research and just tell me how Duffy is such a douche?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
I already know about 20 people who own the hoodie with “The Saints Prayer” on the back, and the famous shot of the brothers looking down the barrels of their guns on the front…honestly, a movie that needs less advertising, not more, is going to be more worth my time I think…
March 28th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Okay, in the Duffy documentary, it details his successful bid to make the “Boondock Saints” movie and his gradual, massively douchey fall from grace. Long story short, he lets whatever perceived success he had go to his head and alienates pretty much everyone who is close to him. You can watch the documentary, which is called “Overnight,” and see it for yourself. It’s not a pretty picture. Maybe he’s changed since then, but knowing douchebags, probably not. Anyway, hope that helps, fragg.
March 28th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Thanks, Crippy Boy.
Duffy must not have watched enough “Behind the Music” style stories to realize that famous people generally jump the shark when they start doing the douche dance.
March 28th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Rhode Island eh?
I thought people from my state didnt exist on the internets.
March 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I liked the scene where that guy shoots that other guy. That was awesome.
March 28th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Was when they killed the cat….not the most amazing scene in any movie you’ve ever seen?
Seriously. I’m from Massachusetts…and I love the whole Boston take on things…it makes the movie THAT much better. I think that if in the sequil they bring back everyone BUT Will Defoe that it’s going to be THAT much more sucky. If you don’t bring back every character that is still alive in the first movie…to the sequil, you’d might as well just screw yourself. There’s really no point in entertaining the thought of a sequil unless you have everyone. Especially if you’re omitting one of the main characters.
Some movies should never have sequils…like “The Land Before Time” but whoever made that movie was on a sequil frenzy and still has no idea when to stop. I think M&M need to take him out.
March 28th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
>>NotWorkingAtWork>> They should bring Defoe back, but this time he should be straight. Also, the brothers should discover some super-awesome-Konstantin-kinda-powers and go on a rampage…
Seriously though, I loved the 1st movie and by the looks of it, I’ll hate the 2nd. What a buzzkill…
March 28th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Well, I fucking love that movie, don’t care how a douchebag Troy Duffy is. I’ve been expecting this sequel for almost 5 years, but now that it’s closer to reality I have my doubts. Don’t know how they’ll hold together the plot without Rocco and Agt Smecker. And who they’ll take their Holly Rampage upon. Hope at least they make a decent movie. Duffy could be a douchebag, but he loves that flick so much i think he’d never disregard the quality of it.
Sorry if I misspelled or something, I’m from Argentina and I’m a bit rusty on my english
March 28th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
The first one was great: it had christians, irish, killing people, Ill Duce with six guns, cool lines… Hope sequel won’t suck very much.
March 28th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I usually use this movie as a barometer of taste. If you like it, you most likely are into a bunch of other shitty movies, and not shitty-in-an-ironic way. Shitty as in you probably probably saw Never Back Down on opening night.
Horrible movie.
March 28th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I don’t get all the negativity about Dafoes character being gay. That was one of my favorite things about that movie. He played that role perfectly and honestly a sequel without him is doomed to fall flat.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I think Troy Duffey is a pretty cool guy. Eh is a douche bag and doesn’t afraid of anything.
March 30th, 2008 at 3:43 am
[…] Boondock Saints 2: Bad Idea or Terrible Idea? | Cracked.com Well folks, it looks like Boondock Saints 2, (or “Twondock Saints,” as it is called by no one), is seriously on the road to production. […]
March 30th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Yeah, boondock saints is genius just like donnie darko is. and of course by genius i mean, “pretty cool”. formula for cult following:
1. movie with not enough appeal for the time it is released
2. a failed box office release and no recognizable notice of DVD release.
3. someone to tell their friends its, “The best, coolest, most underground movie ever made, and if you show it to people youll totally get laid because its totally artistic, but not in that french, silent, naked clown cooking breakfast way”
4.???
5. PROFIT!
next think you know you have popped-collar polos with movie quotes drunkenly feeling up unsuspecting (or, anticipating but in denial) college girls across the nation.
March 30th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
If there is not a scene of Willem Dafoe getting so caught up that he screams, “There was a firefight!!!”, while shooting off rounds into the air in super slo-mo, then I’m not interested. That, and his legs are underrated in a skirt…
March 31st, 2008 at 3:00 pm
[…] Wednesday (he calls it “blogging candy) when suddenly I got an idea. Well, more specifically, my old crime-fighting buddy got an idea, but it was a good one: see what’s cooking on […]
March 31st, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Agreed– Boondock 2 (All Saints Day, they were calling it before) is gonna be a let down. However, I clicked this link because I thought it was “Boondock Saints Z,” as in some sort of amazing World War Z + Boondock Saints mashup.
The MacManns Brothers AND Zombies? -That- I’d pay to see.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:15 am
i’ve seen bds like…3 times? maybe. i liked it. would i watch it again? probably not. even though it was entertaining, it gets boring. i’m betting bds2 is gonna be worse. and that thing about george lucas…funnnnnnny
April 7th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
[…] then I realized something. Who needs to link to a real story? That’s for amateurs. Children. I’m the oldest Cracked blogger, and I’d better start acting like it. (I actually […]
April 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
[…] duo. Dedicated followers of the blog will remember that, before we were bloggers, Gladstone and I worked as costumed street-vigilantes in Rhode Island, dubbed “M&M” by the media, because of our names, (I was “Machete,” […]
April 18th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I live in Rhode Island. I guess I owe my safety to you.