Smashing Pumpkins Sues Instead Of Holding Its Breath Until It Turns Blue
Smashing Pumpkins is suing Virgin records for using some Pumpkins music in a Pepsi commercial. Normally, I would applaud such artistic integrity, but this news —like most things Billy Corgan related— just pisses me off. According to the lawsuit, Virgin violated the terms of its contract by using the Smashing Pumpkins name and music in promotional deals that hurt the band’s credibility with fans.
Really? Which fans? I’m sorry. I lost track of the Pumpkins demographic some time after ’97. Who are we talking about? Thirty five year old Japanese Anime enthusiasts who work at Blockbuster? Soccer moms who have destroyed all the old photos of themselves featuring crotchless black and white striped stockings? Vampires who still get beat up for lunch money?
Yeah, I don’t think Virgin is the biggest culprit when it comes to the band’s loss of public affection. As a former Smashing Pumpkins fan, I’m pretty sure I know where the problem is. Let’s recount:
1991: Smashing Pumpkins releases Gish, an amazing, guitar-driven collage of sound and emotion. Young Gladstone is duly impressed.
1993: Smashing Pumpkins releases Siamese Dream to rave reviews and commercial success. Young Gladstone incorporates Disarm into his acoustic coffee shop set and succeeds in getting the phone number of a super-cute waitress.
1995: Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. A goofy title for a double album that contains a number of throwaway tracks and a single (Tonight, Tonight) that sounds suspiciously similar to Disarm. Corgan, in full-douche mode, refers to the album as The Wall for Generation X. Gladstone refrains from purchasing. Incorporates none of the songs into his acoustic set. Gets the phone numbers of no waitresses.
1998: Adore. Smashing Pumpkins take a bold step into a hackneyed form of Eno-influenced electronica, and it’s somehow lamer than it sounds. Corgan shaves his head. Wears black leather or spandex or whatever you call that S&M gear worn by people who enjoy being urinated on. Gladstone’s girlfriend buys the CD and is mocked mercilessly by Gladstone.
2000: Deux ex Machina. Bassist Darcy is kicked out of the band and is replaced by Melissa Auf de Maur. Gladstone grows more suspicious of Corgan. For a guy who’s all about musical integrity, how come he only hires bassists Gladstone wants to have sex with? As far as the album goes? Not sure. I saw the poster for it in a record store window. Shortly thereafter, Smashing Pumpkins breaks up. Glastone’s girlfriend leaves. Gladstone calls waitress from years earlier. Repeated messages go unreturned. Gladstone tries to imagine Darcy and Melissa Auf de Maur having sex with each other. Succeeds.
My point is simple. Pumpkins kind of went to pieces, and Billy Corgan breaks my heart. He’s a talented guy who was very good at making some interesting and attractive sounds. He was also talented enough to want to do something more. Something different and iconic, but he never succeeded in purveying that new sound successfully. Unlike the similarly situated Kurt Cobain, however, Billy chose not to kill himself. Instead, he moped about with his bald head and shiny clothes whining and whining and whining. Occasionally, he appeared for photos like this:
That’s what killed Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan. A talented, geeky, suburban kid who dreamed of greatness. Who achieved it. But who fell when he tried to become more than a talented musician. When he tried to be an icon. He wanted 14 year old girls to swoon. He wanted black and white graffiti of his visage on the Berlin Wall. He wanted the kind of rock star celebrity that is very rare and often created only by untimely death. Kurt Cobain is an icon. Jim Morrison is an icon. Jimi Hendrix is an icon. Billy Corgan is not. (Even though I think he’s more talented than two of those three guys. Can you guess which?)
Billy, if you’re reading this, which you aren’t, but hey, this is a literary device, let me make a request: just be content with what you’ve done. A lot of it’s great. I wish that made you happy. I wish you’d grow out your balding hair, sit down with your guitar, and record some tunes with no agenda.
And don’t be sad. I’m pretty sure I know the number of at least one waitress who would still totally sleep with you.
Check out some more Gladstone over HERE and find the still undetected blog reference HERE.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
You forgot to mention that Gish was the first time a band had taken some relatively lame tracks and put them through the magical “Jane’s Addiction Machine.”
March 26th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I’m going to guess Cobain and Morrison.
Least they still have Jimmy Chamberlain (drummer), who’s the only member with any notable skill.
Disarm is also one of my fav. SP songs, but the only thing (I think) it has in common with Tonight, Tonight is the acoustic guitar, the violin section, and Billy Corgan’s wailing.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Chamberlain’s greatest skill was getting that Melvoin boy killed. But a good drummer as well.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Hey Gladstone, just out of interest, were Darcy and Melissa on a black glittery heart-shaped bed that was slowly rotating to the background music of ‘Poison’ by Alice Cooper?
If so, stop invading my head.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
We all know you dont like Kurt Cobain but a large number of people are huge fans. Stop throwing random references about how you think he was overrated
March 26th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Bravo Gladstone, I enjoyed this post alot. And, believe it or not, agreed with it - even the suggestion that Billy Corgan is more talented than Cobain. His songwriting was much more complete - although I don’t think Disarm is even in the top 5 songs on Siamese Dream. Laugh if you will, but Soma, one of the best fucking songs ever, followed closely by Hummer, particularly the end bit, which has some incredibly layered melodies and harmonies. And I second the notion that Jimmy Chamberlain is indeed brilliant.
I was reading a bit up on that album, and apparently Corgan and Chamberlain were the only two who actually did the work in the studio. I can’t remember why exactly…I think maybe it was cuz D’arcy and Jimmy Iha had just broken up or something. Anyways, yeah.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Not like I’m defending Gladstone or anything cause that constitutes as a affection which I tooootally don’t have (CALL ME!)
But Sven, this is kind of his blog soooo I dunno….I kinda think he can do what he wants with? Ya?
March 26th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Nchammer,
Yeah, the chord progression and melody line are distinct. I guess I was just referring to the orchestral production and a feeling I can’t shake that Corgan sat down and said “yeah, I should write another song in the style of Disarm”
March 26th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
“Gish” is the only Pumpkins I have. And Pumpkins without Darcy? Uh-uh.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I agree regarding Cobain and Morrison. I am not sure what they did so right… (Then again, I think the Beatles are vastly overrated).
But I agree about Sven. If you have an opinion (a true one) that deviates the norm, express it. Don’t worry about the norm, esp if you arent unneccessarily insulting.
I’m ok with Smashing Pumpkins, I guess. I don’t really follow them. They seem pretty Diva’ish. I like Tonight, Tonight. That Tarantula song was pretty fun…
March 26th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
The first rule of writing is to get the reader on your side, Gladstone. You had me until you claimed to have gotten a date with a super cute waitress. Unless that waitress was a super cute bear, I have to call shenanigans. “Rarr, Rarr, Rarr, she-bear.” That’s what you would say in between references to Kurt Cobain.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I liked this last Pumpkins album. Lets be honest, all they need is Corgan and Chamberlain.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Neville Chamberlain? He wasn’t much of a musician.
Churchill was a wicked vocallist though.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Just for a point of reference Gladstone, otherwise I find it hard to follow your post:
Using the Snorg Tee girls as comparison from 1 (This is why I’m hot) to 3 (I love lamp) where would the super-cute-waitress fall?
I mean, I’m sure the rest of your post was excellent, but I can’t honestly finish until the waitress’ hotness is better illustrated.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I’m confused. Who’s hotter 1 or 3. She was cuter than lamp girl though.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Anytime I see Corgan I’m reminded of his 10-second cameo in the movie Spun where he wheres a wig and his only line is “That’s gotta hurt.” Perhaps for this reason I can’t help but like the mopy guy.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I like when you write about music, Gladstone. Even when I disagree, as a fellow music junkie, I appreciate your fervor and attitude regarding these things. Also, since most of my disagreements tend to be more slight than direct I assume most stem from my being so very much younger than you. Also I’m not so sure that Billy Corgan desired to be an icon as much as he desired to be Michael Stipe.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I have to confess I didn’t put much thought into the rating system. But cuter than the lamp girl? Now THAT’S an impressive anecdote. Well played Gladstone… well played. You now have the respect of a random Casnadian blog commentator (a fact that would look great on any resume or personal ad).
March 27th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Sometimes I consider unblocking the ads so I can see what you’re all talking about, but then I remember that being obsessed with people in ads for crappy t-shirts is incredibly lame and I don’t care what you’re talking about.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Sometimes I touch myself.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:10 am
I just listened to Adore. Its not that bad. But it does make me sleepy.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Billy with hair just looked weird, I’m glad he shaved it off. If you squint he kinda looks like Jack from a Nightmare before Christmas.
And it’s ja, not ya.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Yeah, but with a shaved head he looks like James Carville or Uncle Fester.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:32 am
Or Voldemort.
No one else get Voldemort?
March 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am
“Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” is as good as “The Wall”. Should Corgan have said it? Probably not.
But John Lennon compared the Beatles to Jesus. Was he right? In one sense, yes. In 10,000 other, more correct senses, he was not. Was Lennon a douchebag, too? No. Just a huge fucking star.
Not until “Imagine” started squishing the Western Hemisphere’s testicles to useless jelly was Lennon a douche.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:31 am
This article only served to remind me of how much I hate the Smashing Pumpkins.
March 27th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Sorry Gladstone, but you started losing credibility when you criticized “Adore”, a very underrated album. You threw credibility out the window when you claimed that the Smashing Pumpkins released an album called “Deus Ex Machina”. They did no such thing! The album’s true title was “Machina/The Machines of God”! And it, too, was underrated.
Nothing personal man. I will simply defend the Smashing Pumpkins forever. And for the record, I’m 20 years old and I know many people my age who dig the band (yes, they did even before “Zeitgeist”, which has grown on me).
March 27th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Joe,
Adore, is a fine little album, but it breaks zero musical ground and that was sort of his whole point in doing it. It was akin to Bowie’s Berlin albums except Bowie did it 20 years earlier and better. But, hey, yeah, it’s fine.
As far as the The Machines of God — Deus Ex Machina is Latin for Machines of God. I could have sworn the title was also in Latin, but as I wrote — I NEVER HEARD THE ALBUM. I saw it in a window. So I wouldn’t take too much offense at my criticism. For all I know it’s AWESOME, but by that time Corgan’s shenanigans had alienated the affections of fans. That was my point.
I know it’s not common to express conflicting opinions in one post, but don’t lose sight of the fact that I wrote that Gish and Siamese Dream are Great Fucking Albums and that Billy Corgan is more talented that Jim Morrison or Kurt Cobain.
IN any event, I’m glad I didn’t lose credibility for claiming I got the digits of a cute waitress.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:17 am
and in the end, aren’t the digits all that really matters?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Hah, it’s cool. I know cyber-ambiguity makes these things tough, but I wasn’t actually angry. Just a die-hard Smashing Pumpkins fan joking around.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:47 am
How eerily similar to what happened the day before (Joe O : Smashing Pumpkins :: Juggadore : Radiohead).
March 27th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Yes, here’s why: I’m a bigger dick when I’m writing posts than I am in real life.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Why is Billy Corgan’s thumb all purple in the first photo? Was he… “busy” before the photo shoot?
I’ve never been into Les Pumpkins Smashant myself, but was surrounded, at the height of their popularity, by people who adored them. They’ve had a few good songs that I liked, but I’ll admit I’m largely in the dark about why they were so popular.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I think Corgan has some skin discoloration condition which is why he often wore long sleeves.
That’s not a joke. Does that make you feel like a jackass, kingmonkey? Well, my work here is done.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Hey, can we talk about Zwan for a second or what? Am I the only one who thinks we should talk about Zwan? Zwan, you guys, I mean it.
March 27th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I was really close to dropping a pisces iscariot reference in the post. Indeed, i could have gone on for another page about the douche chills Corgan gives me.
Spoiler Alert: Everything I dislike about myself I see in him. It is my worst fear that if I were a rockstar i’d be EXACTLY like him.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Are you sure of that, Gladstone? Do you think you’d have it in you to write a “memoir” about your extremely important life on the Internet?
March 28th, 2008 at 9:10 am
See, Crippy Boy, you calling me a self-obsessed douche who showers himself with undeserved thoughts of his own greatness only confirms my fears that I’m exactly like Billy Corgan.
Also —and I mean this in a respectful, constructive way— blow me.
March 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Uhh…I was inferring that maybe you didn’t have it in you to be a self-obsessed douche at his level. Yes, many people do write blogs, but not many write to chronicle their rise to fame and eventual decline to douchebaggery like he did. I phrased everything in that comment as a question just to avoid that sort of response. I think you’re a really funny guy and I meant no disrespect. I meant plenty of disrespect towards him, none towards you. Anyway, keep up the good work.
March 28th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I’m really glad I told you blow me respectfully!
Thanks Crippy Boy. And btw, it’s totally ok to call me a douche if circumstances dictate. Now would be a good time I think.
March 28th, 2008 at 11:08 am
No, it’s cool. Life’s too short to insult someone who makes you laugh your ass off.
March 28th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Phew, I’m glad that awkwardness is over.
Dear Billy Corgan,
I am sorry that you have a discoloured hand. Please do not let it get you down. Many freakish mutants still enjoy productive and fulfilling lives doing many important things. Perhaps, if you work hard enough, you too can enjoy some level of success in a field that is not hindered by your hideous, hideous deformity.
Love,
kingmonkey, and kingmonkey’s typist/hairstylist
March 28th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Wow! How can you hate an album that you didn’t even hear? And he shaved his head because he started going bald and didn’t want that guly comb-over (which your hairstyle kinds looks like). Yeah his freaky black pleather jacket was a bit too much, but his solo album is pretty happy and when he did that brief stent with Zwan the music was so happy that a lot of his fans hated him for it. And have you even listened to Zeitgeist? And did you know that Darcy quit the band on her own to start a family and that they are all friends still? Smashing Pumpkins is one of my favorite bands, as you can probably guess. Yeah he’s annoying sometimes, but that is part of his charm. And as far as compairing him to Kurt, Kurt took the cowards way out - also he was a major drug addict and Billy isn’t, he actually kicked the drummer out for a while and told him to come back when he got clean, which he did just so he could play with Billy again. You only wish you could play even a fraction as good as Billy so that girls won’t notice how small your dick is!
March 28th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Should I answer those in turn?
1. Um, you can’t hate an album you haven’t heard. it’s impossible. Good point. I don’t. My point was that by the time that album came out, i didn’t care.
2. I know he shaved his head because he was balding — although i’m not sure he admitted that– uh, do i have to deny that I have a come over. really? ReallY? Ok. I don’t. I think pictures and reality back me up.
3. There are disputes about the state of Darcy. And if she did quit, perhaps it was because he wouldn’t let her play on albums? Hard to say/care.
4. What part of me saying he was MORE talented than Kurt Cobain don’t you understand.
5. How annoying and whiny does Billy Corgan have to be when even someone like you –who is such a ravenous fan that you write comments like those above– has to admit he can be annoying sometimes. Wow. that’s pretty damn annoying.
6. I can’t play guitar nearly as well as Billy Corgan. I didn’t claim otherwise. But in order to confuse women about the size of my penis, I usually don’t rely on musical ability. Instead, I write inflammatory blog posts designed to generate semi-logical, hateful comments. Then, while the ladies are trying to piece together the fractured argumentation, I slip a vegetable down my shorts.
7. It should be clear that I think Billy is wildly talented. I love two Pumpkins albums. I think he, personally, is kind of irritating and whiny.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Oh the Pumpkins.
I more or less agree with you here, although Mellon Collie is a lot better than you give it credit for. (Yeah, that’s when Billy started turning into a bit of a douche, but still) As for Adore and beyond… the Pumpkins have always been tortured artist rock, but that is when they went too far and went way into this whole ElectroGoth ™ thing that Corgan could never have enough of. Thats what killed it for me.
Billy Corgan is like Roger Waters — both artists I like for their music and their talent, but are probably real pricks if you ever meet them in real life.
March 29th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
What an interesting comparison!
Roger Waters is one of my heroes. I used to be sure he was a huge prick in person. Now I’m not so sure. The older I get, the more I think Gilmour is probably a douche in his own way.
I like stuff on Mellon Collie, I just get mad when people take a great album and turn it into a mediocre double album.
March 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Y’know how you feel really upset when a band that played the clubs where you grew up makes it REALLY BIG, and you have to go through life thinking “I coulda seen ‘em right up this/close every F–ing weekend and I MISSED OUT!
Well, I had the chance to see the Pumpkins nearly every weekend in the late 80’s in Chicago. Lived downtown, and they were ALWAYS playing some club close by—say, 10 minutes to 45 at the most from home.
And I didn’t see them.
And I don’t feel bad. Because Billy Corgan is a very, very talented musician–only, I don’t really like his music. Not because it’s bad; it’s not. It’s just not that enjoyable. Sorry. Just had to share that. I’d kill a busful of nuns to see Wilco at a small venue: but Billy et al? Sorry.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
While your caption for the future embrace is like totally ROTFLMAOLOL, let’s not lose sight of the fact that siamese dream and melloncollie were 2 of the best albums of the 90s. Corgan is amazingly prolific and I think pretty much everything he touches is gold. Jimmy Chamberlin is the only drummer I even care about. The band is just great.
And am I really the only one who likes him as a person? During Reading last year he said “Didn’t think I’d be back, but sometimes you just need the cash”. Yes of course I only laughed cos I love the music, but screw you alright?
March 31st, 2008 at 7:57 pm
There are things i like about him. He’s brighter than the average musician. And he’s talented. And i think he’s well-versed in music and has respect for the right things. He’s just kind of insufferable I think though.
And am I the only one who thinks Gish is the best Pumpkins album?
March 31st, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Disarm was a failed cover of “Sometimes” by My Bloody Valentine (hit up youtube, it was in Lost in Translation). Billy is very bad at figuring out how to play other people’s songs. Landslide is way off, as is Sandoz.
The Jimmy Chamberlin complex sounds more like Smashing Pumpkins than Adore did. He really is the star. Billy comes up with great riffs and melodies, and knows what producers to call up, and isn’t a bad poet, just bad subject matter after he had a bankroll.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Gish and Siamese Dream are definately thier best albums. It sucks that loads of talented musicians turn out to be douches.
June 29th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Gladstone: I pose to you a couple of questions.
First…how is a whining, angsty, voice of our generation’s sorrows a microcosm of either genius or talent? Don’t get me wrong, I like the Pumpkins, in fact, I stopped listening to them around the same time you did in that horrifying period where Michael Stipes stopped being a bald pot smoking anarchist and became politically inclined and Billy Corgan (unsuccessfully) became Michael Stipes.
Genius is not that which describes the mob, but that which is entirely its own.
And second…..please explain to me what you have against Jim Morrison. I’ve progressed from irritated to curious. Granted, and I warn you, informing me will only lead to me pointing out to you, complete with factual/textual evidence and gratutious sarcasm, why you are wrong/misinformed. Which amount to the same damned thing.
And to sum this up, let’s compare lyrics, first from “Disarm” because you mentioned it, and second from “Wild Child”, because it’s one of the Doors’ more popular songs that wasn’t written or otherwise fucked by Robbie Krieger (eg: “Light My Fire”, “Touch Me”, “Tell all the People”) and it mentions children, so it’s sort of a tie in.
“Disarm”:
“I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What’s a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you”
“Wild Child”:
“(An ancient lunatic reigns
in the trees of the night)
With hunger at her heels
And freedom in her eyes
She dances on her knees
Pirate prince at her side
Staring into the hollow idol’s eye”
I mean really, the depth of Morrison’s poems swallows that of Corgans so completely that in trying to find the scant meaning in Corgan’s words so overshadowed by Morrison’s you will search the depths of the abysmal universe and stumble across the blind idiot god Azazoth who enacts his chaos on the mortal plane. Once meeting him you will have the time to go insane, summon an Elder god, rummage in the ruins of an ancient city belonging to god knows what, find the goddamned beef, get laid, and read “Ulysses” cover to cover before you ever come remotely close to finding the thin facsimile of talent Corgan’s writing has in comparison to Jim.
And yes, I don’t have anything better to do at the moment. I may just try to validate that statement.