Fuck Iraq - Carson, California Is The REAL War Zone: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Carson City Council Smack
This is exactly why I stopped going to city council meetings. Everything is going along just fine, you’re sitting there minding your own business listening to a deposition, and then BAM - some old lady taps you gently on the back of the head with a handful of papers. You’re momentarily stunned, possibly in shock, but then it wears off a few seconds later and you suddenly realize how much pain you’re in. That’s when you let out an ear-splitting shriek, grab the armrest and gingerly hurl yourself to the floor. That’s why I stopped going to city council meetings - because that kept happening to me ALL THE TIME.
These days I spend most of my days at the city treasurer’s office. Things are a lot quieter there, and they have a handful of outdated general interest magazines in the lobby, so I get a lot of reading done, too. It might not be the most exciting way to while away the day, but at least it’s not, you know, DANGEROUS. Not like those city council meetings in Carson, California.
In case you were wondering, the “assailant” in this video is a woman named Vera Robles DeWitt. She’s a former mayor of Carson herself, and based on her website - which features a screenshot from the video right there on the main page, not to mention a whole press section (I’m apparently the last person to see this video) - I can only assume that she wants people to watch this clip. Probably to help clear her name of the (no joke) misdemeanor battery charges that were filed against her. You know - for gently tapping that woman on the back of the head with a handful of papers.
I guess the moral of the story is “Fuck Carson, California.”
March 26th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I bet that lady used to play soccer for a South American team… What a bunch of fakers!
March 26th, 2008 at 11:26 am
She could at least learn to fake injury well… you know, at least as well as a child.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Lol, apparently the misdemeanor charge went to trial about a month ago. I wonder how that case turned out?
Also, this is exactly why fat old white ladies aren’t well represented on soccer teams.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Did you hear how the guy kept saying she struck her “in the eye”? Back of the head, the eye, back of the head, they eye… I suppose I can see the correlation.
I want to go there with a bunch of people and randomly scream out and fall to the floor throughout the entire session.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I happen to know that fat old white chick very well and can tell you she would never do anything so dramatic. What you don’t see is that Miss Dewitt (too damn ugly to be Mrs.) slyly dropped a miniature explosive device down said fat old white lady’s back while simultaneously savaging her with what was actually a led pipe deceitfully wrapped in paper. The subsequent brain damage that immediately afflicted poor fat old white lady once struck with the concealed weapon was responsible for the delayed scream, which occured just as the explosive device went off thereby propelling her onto the floor.
I for one believe the electric chair is the only option.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
The Fat Old White Lady (FOWL for short) must have eyes in the back of her head. My mom had that too. I hope the FOWL recovers okay and suffers no lasting injuries from her fake fall on teh ground.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
It’s the R2D2 scream.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
For shame Carson City, for shame.
March 26th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I love the savage majesty of American politics - our politicians in England are far too polite to each other, they just get drunk and have sex with rentboys on the quiet. U.S.A, U.S.A!
March 26th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Unless you’re Prescott taking a swing at a farmer.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
A farmer I’m pretty sure he was having drunk-sex with on the quiet. But I concede the point.
March 26th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
ROFL “…the R2D2 scream…” made me have to watch the video a 3rd time and listen for it…
“…the R2D2 scream…” I think the funniest thing I have read on this website in weeks.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Either that woman is a terrible actor, or DeWitt used the Five Point-Palm Exploding Heart Technique on the back of her head, and so her death was delayed.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Dude, I could so kick Carson City’s ass.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I love how as soon as she is hit, the black man to the right of her shows the same level of unneeded concern and jumps up to help her.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I hope that black woman was calling her out for being a retard
March 26th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I hope she gets re-elected as mayor in the future.
March 27th, 2008 at 4:13 am
that was fucking insane
March 27th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Was that staged? As soon as anything bad happened, everyone started to bandwagon around the faker…
March 27th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The most telling sign has to be how she carefully collapses from her chair, no doubt reeling from the staggering impact of the bludgeoning she just received. Her acting wasn’t as convincing as, say, Kaeto Kailin’s or Paris Hilton’s may have been.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
What a Faker.. How long does it take to fall, according to her, first put her hand on her head and 2 sec later she gets up and falls.
March 30th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Now, here in Chicago it would’ve been different. At least six or seven people would’ve fallen to the floor with her, and they’d ALL sue the city for….well, for something. And they’d get paid.
A bus was involved in an accident downtown a few years ago, with about ten people onboard.
Nearly FIFTY people were taken to the hospital. I shit you not.
March 30th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Sorry, forgot to mention: the way to eliminate the resulting nuisance suits would of course be to ‘put down’ injured busriders, city council injuries, etc. like a horse with a shattered limb. Brutal and, well, not very PC—but hellishly cost effective.
April 12th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
This is worse than any one has said. The fat old magot is the criminal. Do you want some one to be able to fake an injury so obviously as her and then get prosicuted. The da is also a criminal she dident prosicut the magot for setting up the woman whe barly touched her. Where do we draw the Help I was attaced with a feather duster. The idiot saing she was struck in the eye. These people run our citys if you are not concerned about the trash thet leads us you should be. Carson the corruption ses pool. Good exampl to our kids by an ols fat ass magot.