Comments on: Hammacher Schlemmer Makes Dreams Come True: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

By: orangemtl

orangemtl — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:21:06 +0000

Despite people on actual bicycles, not to mention actual motorcycles laughing, pointing, and saying some startlingly unkind things (e.g., “Hey you lazy rich motherfucker, get off your fagmobile and get a bike!”), I’d really like to have one of these things. And a pair of noise cancelling headphones, to drown out the nasty comments.

By: smashpro1

smashpro1 — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:45:06 +0000

Jesus fucking christ, that thing looks awesome, with the exception of the tard crash at the end of the video

By: Stiles

Stiles — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:08:22 +0000

Don’t forget the animatronic roommate: http://www.hammacher.com/publish/74335.asp?promo=homepage

Do you have a socially inept child? Is this child irreversibly lonely due to the beatings they receive immediately upon leaving the house? Do you have a warped sense of humor, and little empathy? If so, this is the product for you!

Some selling points include; “the device asks questions concerning the child’s likes and dislikes, using the child’s responses to personalize conversations and to tell jokes” -FUN!

“Its database can store telephone numbers and the device connects to a phone jack, allowing it to become a child’s personal operator that dials the phone numbers of friends” -So, it possesses amazing powers usually reserved for common household telephones? WOW! Also, how many friends could this hypothetical child REALLY have? Possession of a vast social network and this ‘device’ would seem to be somewhat mutually exclusive.

The kicker to this has to be the list of suggested items you may also find interesting. If there was any doubt as to this item’s target demographic;

-The Young Meteorologist’s Weather Station

-The International Brotherhood Of Magicians Magic Set

By: Shall We Play a Game? « Grace Magazine

Shall We Play a Game? « Grace Magazine — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 06:19:05 +0000

[…] 1. I choose to start with Celluloide Blonde. She seems to know all the interesting people. 2. From her blogroll, I clicked on Librarian Woes. 3. From there I clicked on Bitch With Books. How could I not? It’s such a great name for a blog. 4 - From there I clicked on Cracked. From there I learned about the coolest toy around, the Motorized Monocycle. […]

By: glendoor42

glendoor42 — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:10:46 +0000

Thank god I didn’t know about that website before Christmas because a light saber wouldn’t have been all I didn’t get.

By: Pistil

Pistil — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:06:27 +0000

Wow. Where has Hammacher Schlemmer been all my life? Thank you for bringing this to my attention, otherwise I would have no idea where to buy a crownless sun hat and indoor dog restroom.

By: SRHCFC

SRHCFC — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:03:03 +0000

Holy crap. That site is literally the greatest thing ever.

By: Mechafox

Mechafox — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:38:34 +0000

I’m not buying any personal transportation device that doesn’t have at least three separate dicks on it.

By: schaffer

schaffer — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:51:22 +0000

That’s general grevious’ wheelie-thing from attack of the clones. Even he looked like a dick.

By: Panzer-Stier Ross

Panzer-Stier Ross — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:18:54 +0000

My mum tells me I’m a winner, so FIRST!!! too.

Also, did they just rip off South Park? Without all the cock attachments? I’d still buy one though, I mean just look at the grins on those folk, they’re having the time of their lives riding
that Wheelsurf.

Frankly, anything with that much joy inducing capabilities stretches above such menial mortal things like money.