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McCain Camp Reaches Out To Young Voters On The YouTubeNet: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

by Ross Wolinsky

The McCain Girls - It’s Raining McCain

Just the other day I had a great idea for a new business: a day care center where random strangers off the street pay by the hour to play with other peoples’ children. It’s awesome because I’d be getting money from both the parents and the random people off the street, and I wouldn’t even need any employees - it’d be just me sitting at a table, counting hundred dollar bills and laughing maniacally.

There would also be a juice bar.

It seemed like a great idea at first, but when I told a friend of mine about it he was like, “That’s the worst idea of all time.” Then he explained all the problems with the concept, and I was like, “Holy shit - you’re right. How did I not think of all those problems you just named?” That’s the great thing about having friends - when you bounce an idea off them, they’re usually more than happy to tell you that it’s terrible.

And that’s how I know that the three girls in this video are not friends. If they were, when one of these women approached the other two and said, “I have a great idea: Let’s make a video of ourselves singing ‘It’s Raining McCain’ and put it up on YouTube,” one of them would have said, “That’s a terrible idea.” If they were actually friends, when one of them wrote down the lyric “I’m gonna go out and let myself get absolutely John McCain,” don’t you think one of them would’ve been like, “That doesn’t even make any fucking sense - this is a horrible idea and I don’t think I want to be friends with you anymore”?

I’m actually starting to think this might have been made by Obama supporters - possibly the same people who made that horrendous Hillary Clinton song - but I don’t really have any time for further investigation; I have this business I’m starting and I’m supposed to be meeting with some of the investors later this afternoon. If all goes well, we’ll be the first all-in-one muffler shop/laundromat/erotic massage joint in America. What can I say? Some people are just born entrepreneurs.

22 Responses to “McCain Camp Reaches Out To Young Voters On The YouTubeNet: The Daily Nooner (EST)!”

  1. Daniel O'Brien Says:

    When I heard them sing “I’m gonna let myself get” I thought to myself “Oh boy! I’m interested to see where these ladies go with this. See, in the original song, the girls said ‘absolutely soaking wet,’ because it was a song about rain, or men. But this song is about John McCain. I’m incredibly curious to see what they come up with that a) rhymes and b) makes sense given the context of the song.” And then they went ahead and did neither.

    Also, Ross, I’ve got a load of brakes, a load of whites and a load of a completely different nature all set and ready for your muffler shop/laundromat/erotic massage parlor. Let me know when I can start giving you all of my money.

  2. apocowarg Says:

    Your idea is a blatant ripoff of the Starbucks/Handjob model seen in Idiocracy. MIKE JUDGE IS GONNA BE FURIOUS.

  3. fragg Says:

    I know the lyrics did not make much sense but at least their voices were pleasant to the ear.

  4. Onodera Says:

    Ouch! My freakin’ ears!

  5. GMan Says:

    I agree frag, and the graphical effects were top notch.

  6. TOTALLYworthmy$17.50/h Says:

    The little McCain’s falling through the window were my favorite touch.

  7. suck poppet Says:

    I know it’s not sincere, but I wish it was.

  8. everythingisayisalieinfacti'mlyingrightnow Says:

    They should have fixed the window first or told the woman not to use it

  9. phTheDude Says:

    Did they say that McCain convinced angels to rig the vote? Because that is totally sweet, and I would forgive blatant hijackings of the democratic process if it were done in such an awesome way.

  10. Neil Says:

    When this was posted on the wonkette a few days ago I responded the only way I could: ow …. my soul …

  11. kingmonkey+1 Says:

    How come they never show much of a closeup of the moderately good-looking girl on the right? Only the lead singer and John McCain’s mom get their mugs captured for internet posterity.

    I can only imagine that one would need a sturdier umbrella if McCain flurries were predicted in the area.

  12. Swede Says:

    I was thinking the same thing, Kingmonkey. I can only assumed the other two, in a jealous rage, edited out all her close-ups.

  13. Albatronix Says:

    I especially liked it when the lead girl took a handful of McCain and rubbed it all over her face. Wow.

  14. CJCassisi Says:

    GOOD LORD JESUS, IT”s MY EARS!!!!
    MUST….FIRE MAH LAZORS!!!! BWAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!

  15. Meanrock Destructotron Says:

    I hear Hannah Montana’s actually the only performer in this song.

  16. Magical Negro Says:

    ooo…. eeessshh….. ooooo….. uhm… yeah. theres a reason mccain didnt endorse that message.

  17. Aaron Cruikshank Says:

    Holy fuck. Did that Estelle Harris look-alike start to disintegrate at 1:04?

  18. daniel Says:

    I liked the bit where john McCain was used to wash that ladies face.

  19. fragg Says:

    I liked the part where…actually, I did not like a single second of that.

  20. Max_Fightmaster Says:

    It’s moments like these I wish they would legalize stabbing. It doesn’t have to be fatal or anything, but sometimes people deserve to have something sharp inserted in one of their limbs. What’s McCain’s policy on stabbing? Because maybe I could be persuaded…

  21. Strawberry Phil Says:

    Even the chick on the right looks stupid right out the gate at :07 when she goes “uh huh”

  22. Lacrymosa Says:

    That was actually one of the most painful things I’ve ever watched. Fuck you, YouTube. Fuck you.

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