Lindsay Lohan Is Boring, But FoxNews Doesn’t Care
Normally, I wouldn’t comment on a video. That’s really an art best left to semi-literate, secular, Satanists like my cohort Ross Wolinsky, but while cruising FoxNews, I saw something truly shocking. A story on Lindsay Lohan that defied all expectations.
Was she high? No. Was she having anonymous sex with a stranger? No. Was she exposing her genitalia? No. So where’s the story?
Well, according to FoxNews, LiLo was furious that photographers were snapping pictures of her from behind. Click here to watch Lindsay get mad FoxNews teased.
So I clicked. I must say, her level of anger is truly terrifying. The way she screams. The flailing of arms, the spewing of expletives, the way she devours a baby kitten alive. Or the way she actually does none of that. Personally, I’ve gotten more pissed off waiting in a fast food drive thru line.
But God bless FoxNews. Why would you ever let photographic evidence prevent you from writing a story about a “fuming” celebutante who “stormed off”? Oh, and God bless FoxNews for encrypting its vids with some code that required me to do the most awkward screen shot of all time. (And yes, I tried full screen, but it didn’t work).
Check out some more Gladstone over HERE and OVER HERE.
March 19th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I guess unbiased FNC was burnt out on elections and political scandals, so they turned into TMZ.
March 19th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
On an unrelated topic, I just read a news article that a girl named Nadia has recently gone missing here in Ottawa (Casnadia). Nadia, please call your folks– they’re worried sick.
Oh, and you shouldn’t make fun of FOX “news” (you’ll notice how I put “news” in quotation marks to emphasize my sarcasm). They’re fair and unbiased… all their ads used to say so. If you can’t place your trust in the marketing department of a multimillion dollar media empire with no private agenda, who can you trust?
March 19th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
More like FAUX news, amirite?
By the way Fox News are legitimately horrible.
March 19th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Hey look, more evidence that Fox news SUCKS.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
This is why I hate Fox. Lindsay Lohan is not news, she is AIDS-infected, cum-guzzling hellspawn and should be burned at the stake.
Can Fox do that?
March 19th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
You know, the real issue here isn’t why fox news did this story, the real issue is involving where on earth my pants have gone to.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Kingmonkey +1: You must have the Casnadian Paranoia that seems to run rampant in your “country”. Apparently it is deadly and destroys. I assure you Jigsaw and myself are quite content.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Hahaha…”Fox News”. Cute.
That’s a good one, I tell ya.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Today’s blog is stupid. Why is Fox reporting a story, that has no story in it, enough of a story to warrant a post? I’m no Fox fan - they’re just as much of a sensationalist, ratings whore as the rest - but posts like this get tiresome.
Fox sucks. Get the fuck over it. That’s well established by now.
You know you’re going to get positive responses when you bash Fox, so the only reason this would be posted is that a, you had no good ideas today, or b, you’re an attention whore like Fox.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Thanks jello.
I’m used to reporters exaggerating celebrity claims to make a story. I’ve just never seen a story that supplies video footage that proves the story is made up.
That was notable to me. It really wasn’t about fox news.
But i’m sure I have plenty of crappy posts due to lack of ideas.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Are you saying that Michael J. Fox is an attention whore!?! Okay Rush Limbaugh!!!!!
http://www.jellobuddy.com
March 19th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
How can somebody that’s job it is to post what he thinks about something, on regular basis, be an attention whore? So he said FOX news sucks and you are tired of hearing it, big deal don’t read it. What if the story had been on CNN would he still be an attention whore? CNN and MSNBC do stories every bit as banal and non substantive as FOX and I don’t think that makes him an attention whore.
Now dressing up like Amy Winehouse well,…..
March 20th, 2008 at 1:19 am
The only reason anybody puts anything on the internet ever is for other people to see it; by definition it has no other use than to share information. That being said, I think it’s a little unfair to accuse poor Gladstone of deliberately attracting attention when you posted your comment in order to attract attention.
Oh, circular logic! When wilst thou get straight?
March 20th, 2008 at 5:51 am
Besides when I want to harsh on Fox for some attention my posts usually look more like this.
March 20th, 2008 at 9:06 am
I was hoping to never fucking see that again.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Believe it or not, I was trying to give constructive criticism to an otherwise stellar blog and blogger. This one just seemed like it was crapped out in order get the inevitable anti-Fox News reaction. *shrug*
March 20th, 2008 at 10:33 am
It may have been crapped out, but the Fox part was incidental. All the News sites run bs celeb news.
Thanks. You didn’t offend me. I promise a better post on Monday. I’m very excited about it. . .
March 20th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Holy crap now I’m really looking forward to Mondays post!
March 20th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Woa, I just watched the video. I’ve never seen such blind rage, such reckless hate and wanton fury in a woman! She almost obliterated the Earth with the power of her anger!
March 20th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
The version of the newspost that Fox used is actually a much tamer version of the original:
“LINDSEY LOHAN MURDERS SIX ORPHANS, HAS SEX WITH MALE PROSTITUTE ON SIDEWALK”
March 20th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I’m also glad to see that Snorg is back.
March 20th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
LINDSAY LOHAN SLAUGHTERS HALF OF CALIFORNIAN POPULATION IN FIT OF GENOCIDAL RAGE
March 21st, 2008 at 6:38 am
I completely agree with this article and all of your arguments in general, this is what’s wrong with America. That stuff like this is allowed to even happen at all. Makes me sick, all this shit.
March 21st, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Don’t forget: “I feel sorry for the man she will marry some day.” Get your act together, Andy.
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
“Was she high? No. Was she having anonymous sex with a stranger? No. Was she exposing her genitalia? No.”
So this was merely someone who looks like Lindsay Lohan.
March 29th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
AGREE, AGREE… STOP WATCHING FOX! I stopped watching FOX altogether about 4 years ago and trust me, better yet trust you. I did, and in view of the fact that I dismissed that hideous network from my programming schedule; I have not missed much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w39FnpuMRfo