Home > Blog > » Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey: Profiles in Dignity

Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey: Profiles in Dignity

by Michael Swaim

PLUG (YOU MAY SKIP THIS PART IF YOU HAVE ALREADY VOTED FOR “THE HOT FARTS” EVERY DAY THIS WEEK): Vote for “The Hot Farts” every day this week. That’s our sketch that’s in the semi-finals of the Youtube Sketchies 2 contest. Help us win 40 grand. Just ’cause. Vote here. You have to click “next video” till you see ours, then give it the ‘ol thumbs up. Attaboy!


I promised myself I wouldn’t blog about Eliot Spitzer after this video basically did the whole thing to perfection. But technically, this post is about ex-Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey, who decided that coming out of the closet and resigning last year wasn’t enough, and that it would be a good idea to wait twelve months and then publicly admit to bisexual threesomes with his aide.

Frankly, it’s the timing of the whole thing that makes me suspicious…one Northeastern Governor gets unseated thanks to a juicy sex scandal, then another does, then the first guy comes up with even more juicy elaborations on his sexcapades. Seems to me like someone’s missing the ol’ spotlight. Well, no worries Mr. McGreevey; I think after your little public dispute with Spitzer via press conference (embedded below for your viewing pleasure), you’re going right back on the front page. Of this blog, anyway.


When not blogging for Cracked, Michael photoshops men having sex with cats as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!

16 Responses to “Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey: Profiles in Dignity”

  1. fragg Says:

    That’s freakin’ hilarious. McGreevey’s remarks made me want to vomit, but I loved the one-upsmanship (or one-upwomanmanmidgethorsesemenlunchmanship) involved.

    I just realized that Governor Spitzer’s name is…Spitzer. Heh heh heh.

  2. Professor THE Guy Says:

    Sometimes I wonder if I should call the happy farm to come pick you up, Swaim. I think they would give me a nice reward so they can study your brain.

  3. Megan Says:

    “…this post is about ex-Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey, who decided that coming out of the closet and resigning last year wasn’t enough, and that it would be a good idea to wait twelve months and then publicly admit to bisexual threesomes with his aide.”

    It wasn’t last year, Swaim. It was three years ago. Figure it out.

  4. Jeff Says:

    Mikey Swaim, I don’t want to alarm you but… *looks cautiously to the left, than the right* I think those press conferences might be fabricated. I’m just saying, not sure where you sourced those conferences from, but I think someone might have changed what they said. I’m like 40% of that.

  5. Michael Swaim Says:

    Megan, that would have required a level of research I’m just not equipped to undertake.

  6. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    Thank you for plugging the Hot Farts, Miguel. We’re all grateful.

  7. Megan Says:

    Understandable.

  8. Daniel O'Brien Says:

    Damn you McGreevey. I’m a Jersey native and I was, truth to tell, thrilled when I heard about Spitzer’s harmless little “hobby.” Finally it would be someone ELSE’S governor as the subject of stupid vaguely topical jokes. Then you had to show up again.
    “Hey guys, just poppin’ in here to say I’m still gay and I used to have freaky threeways all the time. So long everybody, still gay, I fucked a panda, goodnight see you next year.”

    Also, folks, when you’re done voting for Swaim’s Hot Farts video, make sure you head on over to thosearentmuskets.com to check out the Hot Farts’s recently re-released single.
    It’s pretty god damn epic.

  9. Mack Says:

    Keepin it fake….
    http://www.fakebuddy.com

  10. Nadia Says:

    like my orgasms.

  11. Nadia Says:

    Seriously, I can’t wait until Law and Order does a “Ripped from the headlines” episode on these pieces of work. I vote for Tom Skeritt to play Ex Gov. Spitzer. Meredith Baxter can play the wife.

  12. kingmonkey +1 Says:

    Spitzer and McGreesy are obviously the kids in school who couldn’t tell the difference betwen positive attention and negative attention.

    http://www.lungbuddy.com

  13. AtomicSpike Says:

    Is it wrong that this video made me horny instead of sick? It is? OK. Just checking.

    Anyways, I was all ready to vote for Hot Farts until I read the part about the 40 grand. I’d rather you guys not have more money than me. Sorry.

  14. Nadia Says:

    http://www.mybuddy.com/kidsister

    Those are the real fake buddies.

  15. Onodera Says:

    Thank you for the picture Mr. Spitzer. That was too funny. Thank you very much for the new wallpaper.

  16. Maggie Q Says:

    Well, I heard Spitzer’s statement, I am moved by Eliot Spitzer’s humility and his expression of gratitude and regret. His description of having failed his family and the public took courage. All of us do have failings and all of us in public and private life can benefit from the example of how he has handled this unfortunate situation. Once I read a book about him — “Spoiling for a Fight”: dealstudio.com/searchdeals.php?deal_id=91654&ru=279 , I think he is unique. Though he did something wrong, I still admire his intention to continue to serve in the future and to make healing his first priority.

Leave a Reply