Comments on: 8 Upcoming Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

By: mia

mia — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:56:53 +0000

actually dragon ball and dragon ball z are not the same thing. the movie is about dragon ball, what you described is dragon ball z. i just think if you’re gonna make fun of it, you should probably put a bit more research into it.

it will probably suck.

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:26:11 +0000

Shut up, Meg.

By: Drew

Drew — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 00:07:16 +0000

Dude, I think I figured out Dane Cook’s role in Horton. In the commercial, you see that one guy screaming “YEAH!” and everyone just stares at him awkwardly.

By: robiwan

robiwan — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:46:58 +0000

Not to be a dick but I think that “sangwiches” is hardly an inside joke. Nothing Dane Cook does is inside anything, it’s outside polluting the air. Since bro dudes only quote Family Guy and Dane Cook, make up at least 3% of the American population and also eat sandwiches almost exclusively the general public is most likely exposed to this word repeatedly.

Furthermore mispronouncing a word isn’t really a joke, is it? See watch: cangdle. Not even a little bit funny, not even when I say it out loud all crazy in front of a 1000 seat auditorium that is completely filled with bro dudes and dudettes.

By: Stephny

Stephny — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:45:08 +0000

“IJ Says:
March 5th, 2008 at 4:24 pm

My take on sex in the city is that it is really the semi-fictional account of gay men in new york. The major change being the characters are cast as women.”

Funny you should mention that, because I always felt that “Sex In The City” was a ripoff of Armistead Maupin’s “Tales of the City” novels, which were about a group of people living in San Francisco, and yes, most of them were gay males. (They’re good books, though!)

By: markp

markp — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 03:59:07 +0000

ps i know it’s already been mentioned, but alien vs predator

that game nearly made me shit myself when first playing it (as marine) in a moderately dark room on all of a 15″ monitor with a couple of tinny 10w speakers

the first movie left me somewhere between boredom and disbelieving laughter on a massive screen with a THX soundsystem and utter darkness apart from the projection.

haven’t even bothered going to the second one, i have it on good authority they don’t just wreck the game / comic, but a great deal of the preceeding canon from the individual alien and predator films.

and it should have been so. frickin. awesome. that you would have to leave halfway to piss blood, and buy another ticket to catch up from where you left off.

pps Ruination of V for Vendetta? “Eggie in a basket”. That is all.

By: markp

markp — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 03:49:18 +0000

transformers 2007 wasn’t the utter train wreck i’d been led to believe (still watched it out of sheer morbid curiosity), but they still did enough to ruin most things I’d enjoyed about the original series and ‘86 movie … and - hopefully - my gen should have been one of the main audiences they were pandering to in that regard
not enough money to make the titular robots the actual focus of the movie they appear in? maybe shouldn’t have piled so much cash into giving them pervading, controvertial, incredibly complex and somewhat needless makeovers, then. Optimus prime would still have looked utterly badass in original form, if it had been made realistic. Bumblebee would have been more human sized, giving him that much needed empathy with the few human characters allowed in to let you know what planet it was set on. (Also, given what I’ve heard, ditching the stupid back-yard scene which required an unbelievable amount of one-shot animatronics may have been beneficial)
Perhaps then we may have been granted the special privelege of seeing the two main, and legendary - at least within the bounds of the film’s canon - characters actually FIGHTING EACH OTHER during the film’s CLIMACTIC FIGHT SCENE.
Yay for artistic vision, don’t want to impose an iron rod of censorship and fanservice, etc … but sometimes there’s quite a broad line to cross between “imposing your own stamp on a franchise” and “plain out wrecking it” - and directors still manage to cross it, despite needing to do so in a fully-fuelled jeep with two days’ supplies, and it being against the express advice of a number of expert advisors.

As for the monopoly movie - it’s a plain bad idea anyhow, but if they don’t do even a token attempt at localisation (quick bit of CG on the roadsigns/skyline, the most sparing of dubs for placenames and currency figures), I hope they don’t have the gall to try for an international release. I neither know nor care what the first version of the game was, and I don’t believe I should have to. I would need to resort to an atlas (or if I’m to be modern, Google Earth) to find Atlantic fucking City, and certainly go online in order to figure out it’s main streets and what relevance/importance/symbolism they have.
For God’s sake, I’m barely cognisant of what the importance of half the squares on my local version are (UK - London - I know Mayfair, Park Lane, Pall Mall, Bond Street, Fleet Street, the main stations, that The Angel is some district centred round a pub, but others still elude me - I’d much prefer an even more localised Midlands (in the interest of getting enough audience, I won’t limit it to Birmingham) edition… covering such delights as Stratford and the Potteries, as well as actual important city streets/districts), don’t come trying to sell me a movie that has lost it’s only cultural connection or reason for me to watch it. There’s enough incredibly ethnocentric American movies that make it into British theatres on bases that I can’t even fathom - why would anyone in this country who isn’t either an ex-pat, hardcore Americanophile or just plain curious/terminally bored waste their time and money watching it? (I can’t even name them right now as I’ve dismissed them so thoroughly, but bring me a list of last years movies and I might pick ‘em out, possibly on title alone).
Don’t add more to the pile, with a sour cherry that it initially seems like it may be familiar, but then turns out to be utterly… alien.

Mmm. Audience alienation. That’s a good phrase. Savour it. I think that sums up the main body of my complaint for BOTH titles.

By the way - live action version of Akira, anyone?
Set in New Manhattan?
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, GUYS - DON’T DO THAT!
Make it along all the other published lines (brave attempt to cover the whole manga in 2 or 3 parts, LOTR style, massive budget so they can cover with real sets and CG what was only possible in a million-plus animation or a billion-plus real movie in the era when the original came out, etc) …….. but make it absolutely faithful to the original setting, or adapt the whole thing absolutely, and call it “John”.

By: Kakashi

Kakashi — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:55:07 +0000

Wow, chauvinist seems to be lost on several of our female, “sex in the city defenders”. Sexism and chauvinism are defined by “Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.” Its kind of amazing that they fail to see that statements like” that the most ‘objectionable’ characters to most men were Samantha and Miranda, who are working in a man’s world, but who are vilified for taking on the characteristics of men” would seem to imply that male characteristics are villainous and that women don’t possess such virtues.. Kind of hypocritical don’t you think?
Also becoming childish and insulting towards a bloggers who throws out random materials to incite discussion and further bloggings is trite and asinine. It sounds like someone could use a few lessons from CreativeProcess on how to articulate and call someones views shortsighted in a more intelligent manner.. I’m sure with some practice they can do it.
Anyways.. Tsk tsk on TOTALLYworthmy$17.50/h , Erin the Bitch and Smart Blonde. The good news is that every inane blogger makes a few others sound more intelligent.
On topic:
Transformers.. Grew up with them, loved them and went to the movies with very low expectations.. I was moderately surprised that they didn’t butcher it as bad as I thought they would and getting the original voice actor for Optimus Prime helped and the substitute Megatron voice was badass. I also like the “To Enslave and Punish” decal on the Deception.
WoW.. Its going to suck.. Probally going to focus around Alliance and hunters when all we really want to see is someone squish a gnome. The world setting has enough detail for a great world setting and story but unless they CGI it like their trailers for expansions then its going to suck. For the Horde! Screw the Alliance.. Whiny fucking kids.. ;))
Most games made into movies suck horribly.. Mortal Kombat.. I shed tear and wished I had something sharper that popcorn to gouge my eyes out with. Street Fighter.. I wished I had learned my lesson from Mortal Kombat while attempting to rupture my eardrums with a straw.. Only decent ones I can recall were Silent Hill if you had never played the game and took it at face value and Resident Evil until they went off the wall with the psychic phenomenon tangent.
As far as monopoly goes.. Anyone who is stupid enough to pay to see it deserves to have their money taken from them.
I did a research project on Sex in the City. It involved media representation of women and their roles in society. This research which unfortunately was done sober for note taking purposes revealed that this series was, is and most likely always shall be utter tripe. It is engulfed in complete narrow-minded and shallow tunnel vision, while endorsing stereotype in genders. As it was mentioned before by someone I forget their name and I’m too lazy to look them back up. The strong and more business competent women espouse stereotypical male traits while the ones who cease to succeed and lower their levels of independence endorse stereotypical feminine traits. This alone is sexist but men who criticize it are berated for being observant and then belittled and called pussy whipped? Ah, the characteristics of a weak ming. Speaking of weak, the repartee of the series is very flimsy at best and possesses the intellectualism of a Pauly Shore film which is also hardly humorous. Its petty drivel that should make strong willed feminists and equalitarians alike cringe in utter dismay.
Wow.. I really carried on.. It was a fun first time dropping by this site and getting a chance to ramble. Take care till next time.

By: FuzzLinks » 8 Movie Adaptations that Must be Stopped

FuzzLinks » 8 Movie Adaptations that Must be Stopped — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:59:06 +0000

[…] A genius bit on the history of predictive text swearing and why it’s so hard to text pottymouthphrases. Hilarious!link: http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/03/05/8-upcoming-movie-adaptations-that-must-be-stopped/ […]

By: FuzzLinks » 8 Movie Adaptations that Must be Stopped

FuzzLinks » 8 Movie Adaptations that Must be Stopped — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:56:03 +0000

[…] A genius bit on the history of predictive text swearing and why it’s so hard to text pottymouthphrases. Hilarious!http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/03/05/8-upcoming-movie-adaptations-that-must-be-stopped/ […]