I’m Glad You’re Enthusiastic, But You Just Made Me Hate Your Candidate: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Hillary Clinton - Making Our Dreams Come True
Here’s a surefire formula for completely alienating anyone who might be on the fence about your candidate: make a YouTube account, rewrite the theme song from a sitcom three decades past its prime, then sing it like it’s opening night at the opera in Sturgis, South Dakota and you’re the only fat lady in town.
Could this have really been created by a genuine fan, or is this some sort of nefarious right-wing plot designed to shame the lefties into submission? I can’t say I’d be particularly surprised either way, to be honest. All I know for sure is that this video totally fucking sucks, and even though it’s obviously not an officially sanctioned advertisement, it still kind of makes me hate Hillary Clinton.
If I’d been the brains behind this video, I would’ve done things a little differently. First of all, I probably would’ve used the theme song from Three’s Company:
Come and stop the Iraq war…
America’s waiting for you…
Because this country is hers and hers and his
Clinton for President, woo!
Second of all, I’d make it totally “extreme” and in-your-face. There’d be eagles swooping down and eating field mice (which would be dressed up like terrorists) and sepia-toned Nazis exploding and Stars ‘N Bars and all kinds of other shit crammed into every singe frame, but there’d still somehow be time for one of those crazy slow motion shots of a samurai sword cutting through a soda can or an apple or whatever… FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. I’d probably throw in one of those “bullet time” shots, too, only the “bullets” would be barbs from political opponents and the “dodging” would be clever rhetoric and a sane tax plan.
Oh - and last but not least, I would’ve made it for Barack Obama. Minor detail there.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Stop it. Enough, Ross. Every one of your videos lately has scared me into not finishing watching it. I count on you for a few minutes of break time at lunch, and the stuff you’ve been posting gives me 15 seconds at most (though I guess having to go home to change my pants could be considered as a break as well).
Honestly, the thought of Hillary Clinton as president… *shudder*
February 19th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
O_O Holy crap! That was the most terrifying thing I have seen since that Chocolate Rain kid. I will be unable to sleep tonight… Thanks…
February 19th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I would have made a video more in ther vein of that guy from the Super Dragon video.
Hilary Clin-ton!
(clap clap clap-clap-clap)
Hilary Clin-ton!
(clap clap clap-clap-clap)
Except, I’m not voting for Clinton. Or anyone.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
How about this song?
http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/ntr_big/brnagain/bigbooty.big.txt
With on exception: replace every “bitch” and “beeotch” with “Hillary”
Listen to this line!!
“I got a ‘HILLARY’ that suck my dick til I nut
Spit it on my gut and slurp that shit back up”
Screams class AND a victory for Obama!!
February 19th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Everyone knows that without the Hendrixian riffs of “Three’s Company”, a presidential bid can not be achieved.
February 19th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
If someone could knock up an Obama reply set to the theme tune from Quantum Leap he’d wipe the floor with that crock-faced fake-Liberal hick.
February 19th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Leaping from state to state . . . setting things right that once went wrong . . . hoping each time that the next leap will be the leap . . . to the White House . . .
OK, I suck at this spoofing crap. Next!
February 19th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
To the tune of America!
Oh Hillary, your specious lies
Forever spewed in vain,
With Billy’s good
Cock stuck in her,
Poor Monica’s Your bane!!
February 19th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
This commercial is evil, but could all the Hillary bashers out there articulate an actual reason for NOT supporting HIllary?
February 19th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I don’t think it would be any worse under Hillary compared to what we have now, probably
a little better. However, it would be the same tired ideas and the same tired political hacks that were there eight years ago. In other words there would be no true change and this country is in desperate need of change. Would McCain or Obama initiate the changes we need in this country? I don’t know, but there I know there is a better chance of it happening with them than Hillary.
On a personal note, I don’t like the sense that I get that Hillary feels she is entitled to the Presidency or the fact that Bill will not take any responsibility for his part in some of the problems we are facing as a country. I DO NOT MEAN that every evil that has befallen the country is the Clinton’s fault as some Republican assholes are still screaming eight fucking later but hey you WERE the fucking President and you were not perfect and did make some mistakes, man up and take some responsibility.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I just saw something like this on a dating site named —- Tallmeet.com —..have more fun
February 20th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Let’s EVERYBODY vote for Obama! He makes us feel real good and uplifted and stuff with his speeches, which is, after all, the most important thing a politician can do for his country.
Oh, and even though he’s never really concrete about his policies, he does seem to want to punish pharmaceutical companies (only our only source of medicine and related research) and energy companies (only our only source of the main thing we need to do basically all the stuff we do every single day). And he’s got such a good heart that you know when he DOES destroy the economy, he will almost certainly express his remorse very eloquently and that will really jumpstart the healing. Gosh, I LOVE the HEALING!
Oh yeah, and he’s black! If our white liberal guilt has taught us nothing else, it has at least taught us that nothing qualifies a person for a leadership role like not being white.
***
Listen, I really f***ing hate Hillary, but she’s about ten million times more adult and responsible than f’ing Obama. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with being excited about electing the first black president, but don’t you think that it might be better to wait to elect the first black president that actually has a some of the qualifications to indicate a successful tenure? What you might be doing is electing the LAST black president.
But, if your minds are made up on your plans for Jimmy Carter redux, go right ahead. Your funeral.
February 20th, 2008 at 1:18 am
I would love to see a woman as president in my lifetime. And nothing could be more timely than an expose of a powerful front-runner for party nomination in an election year. I have come to have a very real respect for her intellect. Yeah, I think every person who wonders whether they should vote for Hllary should read this book:
dealstudio.com/searchdeals.php?deal_id=84962&ru=279
February 20th, 2008 at 7:04 am
guys, I think we should get the serious political discussion off this comedy site, and take it where it belongs. dating sites for tall people.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I seriously dislike Hillary, she is pro-censorship in entertainment (as shown by her handling of GTA), only became rigidly anti-war when she realised it could win her votes (as shown by her second term as senator), she voted for that stupid border fence, and she looks posed to set up a government with no transparency whatsoever, just like George Bush did.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:22 am
Also the sitcom theme for an election campaign so should be Charles In Charge.
February 20th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Look, why don’t you guys just have a revolution? As I understand it, the last one went pretty well for you guys.
Oh, and check out tallmingle.dom, tailsmack.com, and don’t forget about sugarmommymeet.com
February 20th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I would like to vote for the person least likely to cater to small but obnoxiously loud special interests who want to advance their own agenda at the expense of my freedom. Or the one who hasn’t conveniently changed their message/opinions according to shifts in the political winds. I’m hoping that same candidate will also be least likely to betray my vote and sell out to large corporations at the expense of my savings account/job/children’s safety. Of the four remaining candidates, who do you think that might be?
Most importantly, will he/she be tall?
February 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
What? You want to vote for Barack OSAMA BIN LADEN (you see what I did there? Also his middle name is Hussein).
February 20th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
if you’re going to vote for hillary, all I ask is that you do it because you actually agree with her policies and aren’t doing it because she’s a woman. not even a little bit.
..but I’m gonna go ahead and vote Obama
February 20th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Well…he’s definitely tall.
February 20th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
“This commercial is evil, but could all the Hillary bashers out there articulate an actual reason for NOT supporting HIllary?”
Is her vote for the Iraq war enough? It is for me.
February 21st, 2008 at 12:02 am
I love the captions at the bottom, so me and all my friends can stand around the computer and sing along next time we have a party about how rich people such
February 21st, 2008 at 12:16 am
What’s with all this serious and respectful exchange of informed political opinions? Where are all the Britney Spears and Hannah Montana jokes? My gods, what’s this world coming to?!
February 21st, 2008 at 2:05 am
“Look, why don’t you guys just have a revolution? As I understand it, the last one went pretty well for you guys”
We’ve actually had two and the second only worked out really good for rich yankee industrialists.
February 21st, 2008 at 10:20 am
OML, the singer in the video can’t even sing in tune. So Hillary Clinton has one of the biggest campaign warchests in history and she can’t even freaking hire a decent freaking singer?? Oy vey…
Anyway, glad I’m voting for Obama.
February 21st, 2008 at 11:43 am
That singer is just fucking lame.Fire who hired her to sing.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm
” “This commercial is evil, but could all the Hillary bashers out there articulate an actual reason for NOT supporting HIllary?”
Is her vote for the Iraq war enough? It is for me.”
She also sat on the Board of Directors of Walmart. (ouch!) That’s one of the biggest an anti-union/anti-workers rights corporations in existence.
Unfortunately it’s up to the Superdelegates’ now.
PS. McCain voted for the Iraq War too and doesn’t want to end it anytime soon either. Did anyone read yesterday’s NY Times’ article about him ?
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:37 am
“if you’re going to vote for hillary, all I ask is that you do it because you actually agree with her policies and aren’t doing it because she’s a woman. not even a little bit.”
Why? If you accept that there really isn’t much difference between the two democratic candidates, and you support their policies more or less equally, but you are concerned with shattering the obvious glass ceiling for women in politics, why shouldn’t you vote for Hillary for that reason?
I think Obama is a good politician, and I’d vote for him if I could. The lines he lifted from that other guy’s speech have jarred with me a little (not because he lifted them, because what they were saying was “you’re right, I am vague, but at least I’m inspiring” - and I’ve always tried to convince people that he’s both inspiring and politically firm). But voting for Hillary “because she’s a woman” is not such a stupid idea, really.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Don’t believe one optimistic word from any public figure about the economy or humanity in general. They are all part of the problem. Its like a game of Monopoly. In America, the richest 1% now hold 1/2 OF ALL UNITED STATES WEALTH. Unlike ‘lesser’ estimates, this includes all stocks, bonds, cash, and material assets held by America’s richest 1%. Even that filthy pig Oprah acknowledged that it was at about 50% in 2006. Naturally, she put her own ‘humanitarian’ spin on it. Calling attention to her own ‘good will’. WHAT A DISGUSTING HYPOCRITE SLOB. THE RICHEST 1% HAVE LITERALLY MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Don’t fall for all of their ‘humanitarian’ CRAP. ITS A SHAM. THESE PEOPLE ARE CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS THEY PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT. Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees. The government can’t just print up more on a whim. At any given time, there is a relative limit to the wealth within ANY economy of ANY size. So when too much wealth accumulates at the top, the middle class slip further into debt and the lower class further into poverty. A similar rule applies worldwide. The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM. As they get richer and richer, less wealth is left circulating beneath them. This is the single greatest underlying cause for the current US recession. The middle class can no longer afford to sustain their share of the economy. Their wealth has been gradually transfered to the richest 1%. One way or another, we suffer because of their incredible greed. We are talking about TRILLIONS of dollars. Transfered FROM US TO THEM. Over a period of about 27 years. Thats Reaganomics for you. The wealth does not ‘trickle down’ as we were told it would. It just accumulates at the top. Shrinking the middle class and expanding the lower class. Causing a domino effect of socio-economic problems. But the rich will never stop. They will never settle for a reasonable share of ANYTHING. They will do whatever it takes to get even richer. Leaving even less of the pie for the other 99% of us to share. At the same time, they throw back a few tax deductable crumbs and call themselves ‘humanitarians’. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. This is going to end just like a game of Monopoly. The current US recession will drag on for years and lead into the worst US depression of all time. The richest 1% will live like royalty while the rest of us fight over jobs, food, and gasoline. Crime, poverty, and suicide will skyrocket. So don’t fall for all of this PR CRAP from Hollywood, Pro Sports, and Wall Street PIGS. ITS A SHAM. Remember: They are filthy rich EVEN AFTER their tax deductable contributions. Greedy pigs. Now, we are headed for the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time. SEND A “THANK YOU” NOTE TO YOUR FAVORITE MILLIONAIRE. ITS THEIR FAULT. I’m not discounting other factors like China, sub-prime, or gas prices. But all of those factors combined still pale in comparison to that HUGE transfer of wealth to the rich. Anyway, those other factors are all related and further aggrivated because of GREED. If it weren’t for the OBSCENE distribution of wealth within our country, there never would have been such a market for sub-prime to begin with. Which by the way, was another trick whipped up by greedy bankers and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. The credit industry has been ENDORSED by people like Oprah, Ellen, Dr Phil, and many other celebrities. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘humanitarian’ BS. ITS A SHAM. NOTHING BUT TAX DEDUCTABLE PR CRAP. Bottom line: The richest 1% will soon tank the largest economy in the world. It will be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. and thats just the beginning. Greed will eventually tank every major economy in the world. Causing millions to suffer and die. Oprah, Angelina, Brad, Bono, and Bill are not part of the solution. They are part of the problem. EXTREME WEALTH HAS MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. WITHOUT WORLD PROSPERITY, THERE WILL NEVER BE WORLD PEACE OR ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL. Of course, the rich will throw a fit and call me a madman. Of course, their ignorant fans will do the same. You have to expect that. But I speak the truth. If you don’t believe me, then copy this entry and run it by any professor of economics or socio-economics. Then tell a friend. Call the local radio station. Re-post this entry or put it in your own words. Be one of the first to predict the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time and explain its cause. WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
wtf, “true”, you really expect anyone to read that?
March 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Gladstone: One reason for not voting for Hillary: she’ll start World War III.
March 2nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
BTW: The Secret Service, who *have* to be excellent judges of character — they need to be, because the more warning they get about a possibly dangerous individual near a dignitary they’re guarding, the more time they have to act to keep him or her from attacking that dignitary, and the less chance they’ll have to play the potentially lethal game of “human shield.” The Secret Service likes Dubya, and like Obama and McCain, and most of the other candidates, because “they’re civil, decent people who never give us problems.” Hillary, however, treats her Secret Service bodyguards like dirt, and has ordered them never to be where she can see them — which means that if somebody goes for her, they may not be able to get there to protect her in time. She’s been that way ever since Bill ran for President in 1991, and if anything she’s only gotten worse since. She is an aggravated potty-mouth with a hideous temper, is viciously vindictive, and never forgets anything she considers to be a slight or worse. Never. Almost *anybody* else would make a better President, even Bill. You really want a loud-mouthed virago representing our country? Not me. As it happens, I’m voting for McCain, and planned to do so since the primaries began this year. But if something happens to him, or whoever gets the Republican nod if it isn’t him, I’d rather vote for Obama — or Alfred E. Neuman — than Hillary.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
antonio banderas dance…
Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin…..
March 10th, 2008 at 12:10 am
Jillian Hall Nude…
Thanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts…..
March 10th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Chubby Grannies Chubby Blonde Mature Chubby Mature Thumbs…
I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…
March 24th, 2008 at 11:08 am
[…] starting to think this might have been made by Obama supporters - possibly the same people who made that horrendous Hillary Clinton song - but I don’t really have any time for further investigation; I have this business I’m […]