An Absolutely Horrific Way To Start Your Week: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
La Pequeña Prohibida
I’ve been pretty firmly against the whole “dwarves are inherently funny” thing since 1999. That was the year that Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me was released, and in it, a little-known little person named Verne Troyer oh-so-preciously touched a pinky to the corner of his mouth as Mini-Me for the first time. The Austin Powers franchise makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes, and as such, I haven’t been able to laugh at a dwarf or midget ever since. The fact that the series has ruined dwarf/midget jokes for me is yet another reason to hate it, and this makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes all over again with renewed enthusiasm.
It’s a vicious cycle.
That being said, I give you “La Pequeña Prohibida” (translation: The Tiny Thing That Haunts Your Nightmares). You know who this video makes me feel bad for? Dwarves who work in the insurance industry. Dwarves who work as mail clerks and Certified Public Accountants. Dwarves who earn a living by doing things that don’t somehow involve them being, you know, dwarves. It’s bad enough that when most people think of little people they think of either Mini-Me, Santa’s elves or dwarf tossing, but now, to make matters even worse, we’ve got tiny, sexy crossdressers filling up YouTube with videos of themselves dancing around in pink sequined party dresses. As oddly compelling as this video is, I’m pretty sure it’s setting back the plight of the hard-working dwarf by at least a few decades.
On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s doing wonders for the plight of the drunk, South American transvestite party dwarf. Lord knows they’ve been through a lot. Let’s call it a mixed blessing.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Dwarfs.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I’m trying to cater to the Tolkien crowd here.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
That looks like someone I know.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Wow, that’s an expensive hat! What gives?
February 11th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I’m going to go curl into a ball in the corner and rock back and forth until the nightmares go away.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I should really stop letting my girlfriend leak our home movies.
It’s beginning to get embarassing.
February 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I… uh… I… erm… it… uh…
I think think the title is accurate, because I’m fully expecting that WILL haunt my nightmares. I shall never sleep again.
February 11th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
this video has done wonders for the justification of meth use:
“I was so terrified of the nightmares that I started using meth constantly to avoid sleeping ever again. I think you’ll agree, I made the right choice”
February 11th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
If you’ve wondered what kingmonkey’s and Mrs. glendoor42’s two kids look like ,well there you go.
@ kingmonkey Mrs. glendoor42 and the two kids that look like you are still waiting for you on the porch, I have the $1500.00 (Casnadian) ready for when ever you show. They are awful hungry and wet(I will not let them back in the house) but the seem to have bonded with some squirrels in the yard that may or may not be feeding them or feeding on them . I’m not sure which.
February 11th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Hahaha, is it wrong that I am so turned on by that clip?!? I love the direction this website is taking. If you cracked bloggers love me, then the next article will contain one of you dressing up as a woman for me.
February 11th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Why Hailslaanesh, did you miss Swaim dressing up as Queen Elizabeth II? His bosoms were lovely
February 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Gees, glendoor42. I’d forgotten how ugly my kids were. That may be a deal-breaker right there.
February 12th, 2008 at 5:50 am
That guy stole my chimpanzees dress and wig! I had to cancel my Leno appearence!
February 12th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Well, at least it solves the mystery of what the hell that thing with the Expensive Hat was modeled after. And that makes me all the more terrified.
February 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Dlisted has 2 videos up of this person
February 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Kingmonkey: I haven’t spotted Apoc on this site since he made that threat. I think he’s in hiding because he couldn’t back it up. So here goes…
*Golly Gee Wilikers. Take that, Apoc !
And…what gives?
*for hilarious definition follow this link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=golly+gee+wilikers
February 12th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Oh, and as for the video…The close-up! Aaaaaahhhh ! Holy shit! Thank God I waited until Wednesday to view this, because it truely would’ve been an absolutely horrific start to my week.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:23 am
Hey, how cool would Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory be if all the oompa loompas looked and danced like this!
February 13th, 2008 at 1:23 am
Wow… that lady has a huge chin.