While Ross and I only included one Salesgenie.com commercial in our rundown of the lamest Super Bowl ads, I think it’s fair to say that all three ads the company produced could have by rights made the cut. They were stupid, borderline racist, and apparently entirely intentional. Turns out the company’s strategy was to make the worst commercials possible, thereby GUARANTEEING that every lame Internet blogger would highlight them in the coming weeks (as I’m doing now. Congratulations Sales Genie, you’re geniuses).
But that’s not the whole story. Shockingly, the ads that aired were actually watered down versions of CEO Vinod Gupta’s original scripts. Those preliminary scripts were recorded, and although they were ultimately deemed too offensive to run, my vast network of resources has located the lost commercials, presented for your displeasure now:
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes intentionally offensive videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
- The 10 Most Devastating Insults of All Time - December 1st, 2008
- The Best Quotes from the New Britney Spears Documentary - November 27th, 2008
- Extinction Is Only For Ugly Animals - November 26th, 2008
- Every Episode of 'House' Ever - November 22nd, 2008
- If You Wanna Make An Omelette, You Gotta Let Some Kids Get Molested - November 13th, 2008
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I only see red blocks >_>
February 11th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
no black jokes? and how?!!
February 9th, 2008 at 6:58 am
Mr. Swaim…brilliance! That’s all I can say.
February 8th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I never saw that second one.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:06 am
that was epicly awesome
pure win
February 7th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
HomicidalHombre: I actually just made these to be funny; it’s really not about whistle blowing. I thought it would be funny to make super-racist videos, because I find racism funny. If anything, it’s the OPPOSITE of a whistle blowing post. The funniest thing is that in this comment thread, I am accused of both racism AND being overly sensitive to race issues. I think I managed something very special there.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:04 am
You just hate white, racially-egalitarian cracked bloggers.
You extremely specifically prejeduced prick!
February 7th, 2008 at 1:50 am
Unless you’re going to come up with a valid point sometime, I really wish you guys would shut up about racism . . anytime a minority with a legitimate matching minority accent shows up in a public broadcast you subject the innocent Cracked readers to another meaningless whistle blowing column. Would it be better if only whites were on tv?? I don’t come here to debate boring pointless shit . . I come here to read funny pointless shit. Get back on it.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:23 am
it’s true. i am indian and therefore a terrorist. funny, i dont feel like blowing stuff up though..
February 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Swaim I think you were scared by stereotypes as a child. The Capn’ Crunch spot was funny though. “like we did Toucan Sam”.
February 6th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Normally, I come to this website and declare that certain things are racist (they usually are), but in this case, I really don’t see anything that is out of line (except for maybe hidden midget racism in the Cap’n Crunch spot?)
February 6th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
but those seem exactly like the commercials I saw during the superbowl…..
February 6th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I’m not sure whether Indians are terrorists or not, but they sure are hot.
February 6th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Oh Swaim, you whacky, loopy racist you!
February 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I for one am sorely offended!
All this blatant racism and NO BLACK JOKES?
For shame, Swaim for shaaaaaame
February 6th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Second!
Indians are indeed terrorists, it’s refreshing to see he finally realized it….wait.