A Completely Nondescript Guy Firing A Gun Really Fast: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The Day
Beretta Rapid Fire! (The Best)
I saw this video posted in a few places yesterday with a handful of different titles, all of which indicated that it was a video of a guy rapidly firing a Beretta handgun. That makes sense, too, because that’s exactly what this is a video of: just some guy shooting a gun really fast. “18 Rounds in 3 Seconds,” “Video of Man Firing 18 Rounds From a Pistol in 3 Seconds” and “Beretta Rapid Fire! (The Best)” are all perfectly appropriate titles. I don’t know what else they might have mentioned in the title; the video itself is pretty short and there isn’t really anything else noteworthy about it. I know that I, personally, definitely did NOT notice anything else about this video that I would want to put in the title. You know - because there wasn’t anything else in the video that drew my attention aside from the incredibly rapid firing. Yup - just a normal guy firing off a Beretta really, really fast. That’s definitely the only thing I noticed.
Come to think of it, I don’t even know why I posted this today. You know - what with there being nothing else to say about this guy other than “Wow - he sure can fire that Beretta fast.” What else would I possibly say about him? I have no idea.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Can’t you see what’s so noteworthy about the video? That is a nice blue shirt.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
You can say it: he’s caucasian. Assholes.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
My god! He’s wearing shoes!
February 5th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I think the gentleman may actually be Hispanic. And in that case it is noteworthy that he has a knife instead of a gun. Maybe the knife is just in his pocket? I think I do see something in his front pocket….
February 5th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Nondescript? That dude has an awesome goatee. It should be “Dude with an awesome goatee firing a gun really fast.” Work on your observation skillz, Ross.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Also, he was holding the gun like an idiot. I suppose it takes a non-idiot to notice that.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
It’s clearly evident that the man just took a shit in his pants. I know I just did so I can imagine how embarrassing it must be for him with the camera on.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Haven’t you ever heard of shooting from the hip, Glenn? What an ass…
February 5th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
you idiot, cant you see that hes a mormon? how did you miss that
February 5th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Come on guys, we all know what it is about this guy. We all want to say it but it’ll make us feel bad.
His shirt is just too blue. There I said it, his shirt is too bright.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Actually, you’re right, we all know what’s with this guy, and as long as nobody says it the comments will keep coming.
You heard that? DO NOT say this guy is fat or you’ll stop the comments.
Er… woops.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
He was not shooting from the hip. He was shooting from the gut, which under normal circumstances would require an awkward positioning of your hand and wrist, but for some reason this guy managed perfectly.
I thought Wild_Marker said something, but I couldn’t hear it because I suffer from meta-joke deafness.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I want to know who posted my home movies on the internet. I will catch you, eventually,
just don’t run to fast, or at all ,or powerwalk, well, just sit there, I will get you, just wait patiently, I have to take a lot of breaks, but I will get there, at some point.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
But when you do, MY GOD the rain of bullets that will hail down upon them.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I’m not sure how rain can hail, but you get my point. You’ll shoot them until they die.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Also, how can they hail ‘down’ if he shoots ‘horizontally’?
February 5th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Can hail rain down?
February 5th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
How does rain know what hail are?
February 5th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Hey, so that’s what The Juggernaut does on his days off.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I’m not sure “how does rain know what hail are” makes sense. It might, but I’m not sure.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
At first glance, I thought that was Violet Beauregarde.
But in my world, everything always comes back to Wonka.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
If rain knows what hail are and hail know what rain is, and both occupy the same location in space at the same time, are hail and rain actually two separate precipitations in one?
Speaking of rain/hail…you know how rich black guys go to strip clubs and “make it rain”? I want to go to a strip club with a bag of nickels and “make it hail”
Also that dude has to be wearing an abnormally large watch…plus he’s got to be italian because only italians fire bullets on a dirt road wearing expensive shoes
February 5th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Chocolate Rain,
Do bullet know from rain and hail?
Chocolate Rain,
Reading this thread has become a pain.
**I lean away from the keyboard to take a breath… becuase I’m morbidly obese and typing is physically taxing**
February 5th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Mustafa, you are so right. Definitely Italian… I am surprised he isn’t a little classier.
February 5th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
You are all so very wrong. The point Ross is so obviously avoiding is a question of fashion.
Those blue earmuffs totally clash with the blue color of his shirt. At least that was all I noticed.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I feel like I’m missing something…
There seems to be something about this man, some elephant in the proverbial room no one is talking about.
I must know.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I think that’s pre-op Mike Huckabee.
February 5th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Mike Huckabee used to be a man?
February 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I think he used to be a slime.
http://www.ffmerchandise.com/DQBlueSlime.JPG
February 5th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Hey, give the guy a break, he probably has allergies. I know I swell up big time when I get stung by a bee. This guy was obviously stung by a shitload of bees. But they probably wouldn’t have stung him if the fat bastard didn’t eat all their honey in a gluttonous feast.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
YOU SAID FAT!
NOOOO!
NOW YOU BURN IN HELL!
February 5th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Hmm. I guess that’s how fat people pleasure themselves.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Oh I get it! He’s fat! Man, that’s… That’s funny! Good one…
… kingmonkey? I wanna be in you…
February 5th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
In some cultures he would be considered sexy….
I think he’d look pretty darn good with an apple in his mouth roasting on a rotarty. Mmmm, anyone else hungry now?
February 5th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
I shotgun the crackling!
February 6th, 2008 at 12:14 am
It’s the blue shirt with black pants. Simply not done. Especially when the pants could sheath the cooling towers at Three Mile Island and still leave enough fabric for a matching tie.
Probably a video of him shootin’ up some more of those pesky papparazzi trying to get sneak pictures of his latest fashion breakthrough.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:34 am
nice watch.
February 6th, 2008 at 3:05 am
That man surely wouldn’t belong in an Under Armour run future.
Why? Wrong shoes.
“FYOOOO-CHURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!”
February 6th, 2008 at 7:17 am
There’s probably a joke here somewhere concerning the proposed law in Mississippi that would keep restaurants from selling food to the obese and possibly comparing that to either waiting periods for guns and/or ho-ho’s or the lack of a need for a “concealed carry” law when all you need to do is slide your Beretta under one of your fat folds, but I have neither the patience nor comedic craftsmanship to finish either of those thoughts in a coherent manner.
February 6th, 2008 at 8:43 am
This belongs in the fake video article!
A bereta 9mm round has a mass of 8 grams and a muzzle velocity of 365m/s. If he really did fire 18 rounds, that’s a total of 52.56 kgm/s impulse over 3 seconds, or and average force of 17.52 kgm/s^2.
Assuming an average man’s mass of 75 kg and a gravitational acceleration of 9.8 m/s^2, he would have to lean at (90-cos-1(17.52/735))degrees or would experience backwards acceleration to a degree that it greater than that visible in the video!
Yep. No average man could do what we just saw.
February 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Wait a second…
If this video IS real, the gentleman in question would have to have a body mass of maybe 140 kg! The obvious way in which he could be so heavy, yet appear so inconspicuous?
Wolverine-like enhanced skeleton.
I don’t know much about adamantium, but I read that the normal human skeleton has a volume of around 0.007 m^3 and a mass of 10.5 kg.
For the video to make sense for a man of perfectly normal outward appearance, the subject would need a skeleton to occupy the same volume but with a mass of 75.5 kg. A density of 10786kg/m^3! This is comparable to lead, at 11340 kg/m^3.
This is not a man you want to mess with.
February 6th, 2008 at 10:03 am
I’m out of my chair now, I’m coming to get whoever posted my private videos on the internet, I’m almost to the front door, wait……. I have to stop…… and res……Hey,…. pie!!!
February 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
i hope those aren’t ivory buttons on that shirt of his.
Hey, you know whats a great idea?
Chocolate Buttons. When your done wearing your shirt, instead of having to un-button each button (I have no other way as to how to unbutton a buttoned shirt) you just take them off and eat them.
But then you have a buttonless shirt. I GOT IT! Make the shirt out of graham crackers and sew it together with marshmellows.
So if you get caught in a fire, at least you will have smores. and then death.
February 8th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
What do we have so far? Italian, possibly Italian-hispanic. Has money, bright blue shirt, expensive watch and shoes. Can handle a gun in ways normal people can’t. Likes pie. Body mass of about 140kg. How can you miss that beautiful smile. Has a goatee. Probably has a knife in his pocket. Somehow, he makes chocolate rain hail bullets. Buddah is alive.
February 13th, 2008 at 3:06 am
kaligula, are you fucking kidding me?
March 6th, 2008 at 1:29 am
You guys are blind. That guy is clearly wearing his ear muffs the wrong way around. He’s got the ‘L’ side on his right ear and the ‘R’ side on his left ear.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
hahaHA!!
you can see his boobies jiggle!
March 8th, 2008 at 5:57 am
HE’S FAT! HE’S REALLY REALLY FAT! FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY McFATFATFATFATFATFAT FATTYFATFAT.
OH MY GOD! it felt good to get that off my chest. Fat fat fatty fat fat fat fat. Very very fat. Oh so fat. Hella fat. Fatter than Veronica Zemanova is hot. Fatter than the CERN institute is cool. Fatter than Abraham Lincoln is dead. Fatter than I’m naked.
PS! I want a beretta :’(
PS!PS! HE’S FAT!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 am
wickedragon,
you remind me of my ex-girlfriend.
May I take you, right here, right now?
Yes. I know you want it. You know you want it.
You know you want it.
You do.
I’m taking it.
Don’t forget to leave your front door unlocked.
And by front door, I mean bedroom.
And by bedroom, I mean cellphone.
I feel like a necrophiliac.