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Elevating The Discourse One Video At A Time: The Friday Nooner (EST)!

by Ross Wolinsky

Awesome Video Of The Day

These Times We Live In

Yesterday somebody accused me of posting “surprisingly high-brow” videos this week. I’m not particularly offended by that remark, but I think I need to explain myself.

We live in tumultuous times. We’ve got a war going on in Iraq that is killing innocent people, global warming is threatening to eradicate us all and the gap between rich and poor grows wider every single day. Globalization is forcing manufacturing into increasingly-polluted third world countries, where cheap child labor is plentiful and unreglulated. The rainforests will be gone soon. Also, what ever happened with that hole in the ozone? Did that work itself out or what?

That being said, don’t attack me for posting videos that are “high-brow.” In these days of uncertainty, I think it’s important that we elevate the level of discourse. I know this is a humor website, but why should that mean that we can’t open up a dialogue about what’s happening in the world around us? It’s a conversation we should have started a long time ago, but it’s not too late, people. It’s never too late. Remember that.

33 Responses to “Elevating The Discourse One Video At A Time: The Friday Nooner (EST)!”

  1. Someguy Says:

    Why would a monkey learn to do that?

  2. Someguy Says:

    Oh… FIRST and SECOND!

  3. Nathan Isherwood Says:

    Ross thinks all older latina women talk like Yoda.

  4. Vimmy Says:

    Piss-drinking monkey’s are the solution to all of the world’s problems.

  5. Huavo Says:

    I must say those that leave comments sure did jump on the bandwagon for talking about important issues.

    Actually the above statement is a filthy lie. I feel the need to bluntly state that due to the fact that everyone seemed to focus on the monkey….pissing in its mouth. So who knows what else gets overlooked.

    Come to think of it… quite a few of things in the news can pretty much be summed up by the pissing mouth monkey. For example…

    Of all the problems listed above which gets the most attention?

    If you chose pissing mouth monkies you’d be correct. Assuming that pissing mouth monkies means “celebrities” same thing I suppose…. but then again I’m just sayin’.

  6. Ross Wolinsky Says:

    That was completely incomprehensible, Huavo.

  7. Vimmy Says:

    Pissing mouth monkeys may actually be a reliable source of alternate energy.

  8. enolraic Says:

    And monkeys are still smarter than most college students!

  9. Glenn Says:

    I think what Huavo was trying to say is that the monkey video constitutes an abstract representation of the American body politic: a ‘tableau vivant’, if you will.

  10. illbeatz2g Says:

    I know it’s to some extent implied in the title, but that video was AWESOME.

  11. kingmonkey Says:

    I wonder what those monkeys eat. You know, it’s probably not asparagus.

    Here’s a ‘too much info’ fact. When I drink coffe, my pee smells like Sugar Crisp!

  12. illbeatz2g Says:

    P.S. Ross, you are a bastard. I don’t know how long ago you posted it, but I just read your ‘Weirdest Online Communities’ article, and Googled ‘Yiffing’ and winded up reading with rapidly increasing horror a website giving detailed instructions on how to have sex with dogs. Dogs. And they used words like ‘bulbous.’ Bulbous! Oh, the humanity…

  13. Vimmy Says:

    Yeah, furries are bad people and it’s generally a good idea not to be in their immediate vicinity, online or off.

  14. glendoor42 Says:

    I can’t believe not a damn one of you didn’t realize that ape ( it’s not a monkey!) was making a symbolic protest statement against PETA.

  15. Ross Wolinsky Says:

    illbeatz - I’m terribly sorry that my article led you to that sticky little corner of the web, but as the old adage goes, “there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to look at unbelievably detailed amateur drawings of a wolf/human hybrid performing analingus on a flying reptilian horse in outer space.”

  16. ass_master3000 Says:

    please, Ross, stop bombarding us with hackneyed cliches. We all know the adage dammit.

  17. glendoor42 Says:

    Yeah, really Ross. Jesus, if I had a dollar every time I heard that, well….. ok, I would have a dollar.

    BTW, I’m still looking for the press release on the changeover to the Milf site.

  18. Rebigdiculous Says:

    That’s one miserably bored ape. Zoos should be fired. They’re like animal prisons we take our kids to. “Look mommy, one of the inmates is urinating in his own mouth! Let’s video tape it and laugh hysterically!”

  19. Splash Says:

    Enolraic, you’re right. That ape is still smarter than most college students. The ape is only disgustingly being innovative to quench his thirst (I assume). College students end up believing erroneously concocted statements like, “Global warming is threatening to eradicate us all…Globalization is forcing manufacturing into increasingly-polluted third world countries, where cheap child labor is plentiful and unreglulated. The rainforests will be gone soon.” At least the ape isn’t dangerous in that people won’t try to replicate his thoughts.

  20. Ross Says:

    What fucking college did you go to? Oxford? Harvard?

  21. Ross Says:

    I only say that because the most eloquent thing we ever said at college was ‘fuck man, she’s hot, BLEEEEEGHHHH!’

  22. Huavo Says:

    I apologize, I’ll try to post my comments before I start drinking from now on.

  23. illbeatz2g Says:

    You’re right Ross, and I apologise - that’s what I get for dismissing conventional wisdom. In this case, curiosity not only killed the cat, but skinned it, went out and bought some surgical lubricant, and worked through some obviously-complicated childhood issues.

  24. Sean Says:

    “Zoos should be fired. They’re like animal prisons we take our kids to.”

    How do you fire a place?

  25. vinz Says:

    With kerosene of course. Mmm, grilled hippo steaks.
    >:3 *sniff, sniff sniff*
    OH SHI- IT’S A LION, GET BACK IN THE CAR.

  26. Abyss Says:

    1 monkey -0 cups

  27. Perogo Says:

    He does it cause it’s sterile and he likes the taste.

    But really, are many things more wonderful than that video?

  28. highbrow Says:

    Isnt this the mockup for a perpetuum mobile?

  29. Jim Says:

    I think the question is not WHY the monkey would learn to do that, but WHERE?

  30. The Monkey(not) Says:

    That was nice. the monkey just needs some more water in his system…he’d be a fountain…sit there all day…

  31. Lara Says:

    I’m guessing that orang otans name is Ghandi

  32. norak Says:

    It is horrifying to think some depraved human taught the ape to do this in order to amuse idiots.

  33. Findlay Says:

    I’m actually wondering if the ape could do that forever or whether it would have to sweat some of it out eventually…

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