John Edwards Knows How To Get You More Than Just Universal Health Care
by Gladstone
Slowly but surely, John Edwards is beginning to realize that the reason he’s trailing third in the Democratic Presidential nominee polls is that he’s just not promising enough. His latest campaign speeches and commercials, however, seek to change that:
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
January 14th, 2008 at 5:01 am
I’m abusing my power as a Cracked blogger to comment on this post before it even goes up and say that this video is fucking hilarious.
January 14th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
First…What the hell? Damn you Swaim!
And yes, it is hilarious. “Nitendo Wii” is gold. I also like the bit about solving the social security crisis, which is what I am assuming the old lady thing was about.
January 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Do you really not know anybody from the south who can do your impersonations for you? That was Horatio Sans bad.
Also, why does his cabinet lose their insurance? They don’t even vote on health legislation. Are they included just so we know that this is an elaborate joke?
January 14th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Ditto on the accent, it wasn’t that bad (I’ve heard lots worse) but that just happens to be a real pet peeve of most Southerners. But to your credit a lot of rural Maine accents sound like bad Southern accents. I was sitting here deciding to be pissed or not and then Nintendo Wii comment came along and all was forgiven. That was priceless.
January 14th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Rebigdiculous.
Are you saying that ANYONE from the south could do a John Edwards impersonation? I was trying –badly– to sound like him not any generic southerner. Interestingly, though, the LESS I sound like him (as the clip goes on) the more I feel i capture his spirit. By the end I sound like the illegitimate son of a gay gomer pyle and foghorn leghorn and somehow that captures him.
And don’t ask ME why his cabinet loses insurance. That’s HIS piece of empty rhetoric. It was the absurdity of his entire knee-jerk, pandering populism that made want to satirize him in the first place.
January 15th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Tranquilo, Happyrock. You do realize that you’re on the internet, correct? Repeat after me: I WILL GET CRITICIZED FOR EVERYTHING. Rinse and repeat.
January 15th, 2008 at 4:45 am
Gay gomer pyle is an oxymoron.
January 15th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Do you mean redundant, glen?
January 15th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Also, I hope you good Southern folk were also comforted by the New York-esque whiny voice I gave the first audience member.
January 15th, 2008 at 11:00 am
For some reason I have Colbert saying “John Edwards needs to be a black woman,” over and over in my head when I watch that video.
January 15th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I’m glaaaad Mr. Gladstone made this video. You kinda sound like Matthew McConaughey towards the end.
January 15th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
No, I mean oxymoron, Gomer Pyle is that gay.
January 16th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
he’s so gay that descibing him as gay is a paradox?
January 16th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Yes?, and only a Marine could accomplish that feat.
January 22nd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I get it! You’re saying that playing Super Mario Galaxy is exactly as important as being able to go to a hospital if I break my arm, or get pneumonia!
God dammit, there is something fucking wrong with Americans.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:30 pm
And even more importantly, what if you break your arm playing Super Mario Galaxy? It’s been known to happen.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Interesting article posted on Digg recently about Edwards’ chances in ‘08-
http://digg.com/2008_us_elections/Is_Obama_Edwards_the_Best_Shot_for_the_Democrats_in_08