“Hundred Dollar Laptops” to Bring Knowledge, Hardcore Pornography to Developing World
First of all, it’s not even a hundred dollars, it’s $188. That’s like Carl’s, Jr. charging eight fifty for their six-dollar burger. But price gouging aside, The One Laptop Per Child Project hopes their new low-power XO computers will provide the fundamental foundation of knowledge developing nations need to launch themselves into the lower middle class.
To do this, the company has developed a Linux-based, nearly wordless OS that runs on durable, cheap laptop-like devices. Between Nov. 12th and 26th , the company is having a “Buy One, Give One” sale during which you can buy one of these glorified Speak n’ Spells for the aforementioned 188 clams, and thereby earn the opportunity to purchase another one to donate to a needy child. Hey, remember the days when giving away money was free?
Some financial heavy hitters have already stepped up to the plate, including world’s richest person Carlos Slim Helú, who plans to buy 25,000 XO computers and hurl them from a stealth fighter jet as he flies over Nigeria. Nicholas Negroponte, founder of the project, hopes generosity like this will trigger others to support the movement and bring a torch of knowledge to the poorer areas of the world.
No, Nicholas Negroponte, founder of the project, that’s not what’s going to happen. What’s going to happen—after our forums are overwhelmed with messages written in that click language—is thousands of Ethiopian children are going to discover Google image search. And, if the scamps are anything like me, there’s only going to be about a two month lag time between typing “boobs” into Google and posting goatse all over your friends’ desktops while they’re sleeping.
Now, I’m not begrudging the starving children of the world pornography; God no. I’m just saying if we’re going to give it to them, let’s do it right. The XO computer has a wi-fi connection, which is a plus, but it’s also powered by a crank. That’s going to tie up your masturbating hand, and no one wants that. At the very least, we’re looking at a massive wave of carpal tunnel from all the kids cranking their computers continuously to avoid interrupting their download of Ass Factory 9: Assignment Ass.
So I say, let’s just cut out the technological middle man and send over some magazines and tapes. Hell, it’s not like we need them anymore. We’ve got the Internet.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:58 am
In case you’re interested, “Ass Factory 9: Assignment Ass” in Swahili is “Kitako Kiwanda Tisa: Kazi Kitako.”
And goatse is “mbuzi jamii”.
March 8th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Used car donation tips…
Car charity donation used to be more difficult before the new tax regulations that are applying since 2005….
March 8th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
New Tax Law Benefits For Car Donation Tax Deduction…
The IRS has taken steps to take the guesswork and confusion associated with car donation tax deduction with a new law. When January 1, 2005 rolled around, you were able to deduct the full price that the charity of your choice receives for the sale of y…