Abusing Tina Turner Never Goes Out of Style
Unless your name is Alan Parsons or Trevor Horn, Phil Spector owns your ass when it comes to producing hit songs. Just a sample of his body of work:
Unfortunately, that last part tends to be the only one people focus on these days. That’s why I’m going to bet his recent speech at Ike Turner’s funeral was more of a diversionary tactic than anything else. In case you’re unaware, here’s a brief rundown of Ike Turner’s career:
I’m not saying those two facts have anything to do with one another, I’m just broadly implying it.
Spector did a good job spreading the shit around, insulting Tina Turner, Oprah Winfrey, Whoopi Goldberg, and Eric Clapton. I guess he just really hates menopausal black women.
That, or the fact that in the later seasons of Next Generation, Whoopi totally sucked up all of Riker’s screen time. No, wait, that’s why I hate Whoopi Goldberg.
Spector called Tina Turner’s book (and the resulting film) “pieces of trash,” credited Ike with “making her the jewel that she was,” claimed Ike could “play circles around Eric Clapton, and Eric knew it,” and said he had “an ambivalence about Oprah Winfrey.” Well, I think we all do Phil.
But when you get down to it, what did the accused murderer love so much about the drug-addled wife beater? In his own words “He never, ever bothered me. He never interfered with me. He never got in my way.”
And we all know what happens to people who get in Phil Spector’s way.
December 24th, 2007 at 9:16 am
I don’t know why people need to make up stuff like The Sopranos when you had Phil and Ike beating, shooting and suicide-inducing everybody left and right.
December 24th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Sometimes typos make the story all the more entertaining. I never knew that Phil Spector and his wife “kept their son licked in his room.” That brings up all kinds of creepy possibilities.
December 24th, 2007 at 10:17 am
I tried to alert Mr. Swaim to that typo this morning. Unfortunately, that sleepy bastard probably still hasn’t gotten my email yet as there is a time difference between me in Maine and Swaim in the third level of Hell.
December 24th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
In fairness to Spector, Ike was a fucking good guitarist.
In fairness to Tina, Ike did admit to slapping her and intentionally pouring hot coffee on her, but never beat her.
What the hell was Spector doing at a funeral anyhow? Isn’t he in jail yet? What’s the, uh, holdup on that?
December 24th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
hung jury homsar.
December 24th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Maybe Phil Spector should just kill Tina Turner? Or at least threaten to.
December 24th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Maybe someone should kill Phil Spector for his Hair Bear Bunch do.
December 24th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
THAT’S the Hannah Barbera character I was thinking of! Dammit, I would have made a much funnier graphic, but I totally couldn’t remember the name of that cartoon. I ended up with Lippy the Lion, but he didn’t look right.
December 25th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Ok so WHO exactly in the FUCK is this prick insulting again?!! Not the murderer most certainly since vilifying white males seems to be a goddamn forbidden ’sacrilege’ in this country especially with the hypocrite,racist bitches of the bullshit media. Funny how a musician this and many other cuntbags in the media didn’t give a RAT’S ASS about a week ago want to all of a sudden turn the world’s biggest holier thans and demonize Mr. Turner. Never mind they won’t EVER utter a peep about wife-beaters and major league ass-holes Mickey Rourke and Tommy Lee or Ozzy Oddbourne who choked his wife or Ryan O’Neal who not only knocked his son’s front teeth out but held a gun to his face as well. Maybe Spector should speak for HIM seeing how they have so much in common.
December 26th, 2007 at 3:10 am
I hate to be the voice of dissent. But Let It Be was fucking awful.
I’m not really sure if I am the voice of dissent as I couldn’t actually be bothered reading the other comments and someone else may have already mentioned it.
Shitty shitty shitty album.
Most of Lennon solo career had poor production value too.
December 26th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
I always thought Lennon’s post-Beatles stuff had really weird production, but it kind of came packaged as part of his image, so I accepted it as that.
And is no one going to defend Let it Be? I mean I’m not, if only for Long and Winding Road, but I figured Beatles-bashing would draw someone in. It’s probably on account of the Holidays. Thanks for the attempt anyway, Mr. Pants.
December 27th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
The Beatles suck man. They are here in this country man to do nothing but get our kids on drugs man,Uh huh. Get our kids to dodge the draft with all that hippie peace shit man. They are a clear and present danger to the good ole U Sof A. Somebody needs to send them back to Germany or Belgium or Europe or where ever the hell they came from man.Somebody needs to TCB on their ass man. Thank you ,Thank you very much.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
to all the haters SHUT THE FUCK UP you all know the ONLY reason tina gained fame was cuz she wasHANGING DO DO DO HANGING DO DO DO HANGING OFF OF IKES NUTS LIL TINA KEEP ON SUCKING LIL TINA KEEP ON SUCKING SUCKING DO DO SUCKING DO DO SUCKING FAME FROM IKES BALLS (TO THE PROUD MARY TUNE) IKES ALL IN YOUR GRILL HATING ASS PUTOS CATCH A BACKHAND !!!!!
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Dear Oprah: http://neilsnotes.com/?page=15&catid=30&sku=E-CD00402