Cracked Science Corner!!!!11!!
Welcome to another edition of Cracked Science Corner! (!!!!11!!) Today, we go behind the headlines to explore some fascinating new research that will turn you from a confident know-it-all into a sniveling pile of incertitude, all within a few mind-blowing seconds. Because as it turns out, approximately 90% of what you believe is crap—at least medically speaking, according to a recent study of commonly-accepted medical b.s.:
Reading in dim light won’t damage your eyes, you don’t need eight glasses of water a day to stay healthy and shaving your legs won’t make the hair grow back faster. These well-worn theories are among seven “medical myths” exposed in a paper published on Friday in the British Medical Journal…
Other myths busted—hey, that gives me an idea for a show—include the notion that hair and nails grow after death (which is thought to have originated with photos of Joan Rivers), that we only use 10% of our brains (it’s actually closer to 0%), and that eating turkey makes you drowsy (it actually has an effect similar to an ecstasy/crack speedball).
But the list failed to mention these additional myths, which are just as widely accepted, and just as false:
- Walking barefoot in public restrooms makes you thin and causes your albums to sell really well
- Marrying your adopted stepdaughter makes you a better film director
- Smoking marijuana does not make you vote for Ron Paul
- Believing 9/11 conspiracy theories causes mental retardation (turns out it’s the other way around)
- Bashing beloved rock legends for an easy blog post makes you popular
- Doing speed while pregnant makes your babies faster
- Having gay sex with gay men in restrooms makes you gay (it actually makes you cool); and finally,
- Reeding Cracked make you more smarder
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Ian Cooper is a frequent contributor to the Cracked Blog. For more of his thoughts on what a bad person you are, visit his website, Wrapped Up Like a Douche.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:57 am
Another misconception? Cracked readers are fascinated by articles in the British Medical Journal.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
Another misconception. Cracked readers know what the word “fascinated” means.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
A popular myth is Cracked readers can engage in political debates without calling each other cocksuckers.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Shaddap Ross, you cocksucker. Rachel and Chandler said to come home! =)
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Oh shut up Joey.
You just gave me horrible flashbacks to grade school when the Ross cheating on Rachel storyline was playing, and a bunch of girls actually began hating me for it.
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:46 am
Another popular myth is that I can’t get it hard when I need to… but that was only that one time and people always go on talking shit about stuff they don’t know.
December 23rd, 2007 at 11:45 am
Reeding Cracked may not make me more smarder, but reeding most comments on mane artikles sure make me FEELS like so! Don’t you? HAlols!!