Backwards Feet, Urban Street Dancing and How To Make Your Friends Really Uncomfortable In Your Bathroom: The (Friday) Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The Day
Backwards Feet Throw It Down
It’s been a rough week, but hey - THANK GOODNESS IT’S FRIDAY, right?! I’d like to send you off on your weekend with something positive and uplifting, something that will make all of your problems seem petty and small and bullshitty in comparison. Your boss might be a jerk, and maybe you can’t quite afford that Crate & Barrel papasan (even though it would look awesome in that spare room), but hey - at least your feet aren’t backwards.
This guy is one of five people in the United States with backwards feet, but you know what? He’s not letting it get him down. Instead, he lugs his boombox out to Venice Beach, dances his ass off and tells his audience they don’t know SHIT about urban street dancing, about how to deal with the disabled, or even about how to deal with their own lives. “The world don’t owe you shit,” he says. “You owe yourself hard work, dedication and self-respect to get what you want in life. Very simple.” And you thought you were just watching some dude with backwards feet dance around all weird. Little did you know you were learning a life lesson.
I just wrote a whole paragraph that I deleted about how he’s a wigger suffering from a Napoleon complex and how someone should challenge him to a race, but then I deleted it because I realized that I found this guy’s story genuinely inspiring. I’ve talked shit about pretty much every video I’ve posted on this blog so far, but I honestly have nothing bad to say about this guy1. Which means that I will probably never, EVER post anything even remotely inspiring ever again. Inspiration is NOT funny.
(Thanks, Ian)
1 Other than the fact that the close-up shots that don’t show his legs make him look like a totally normal douchebag that I would be perfectly comfortable making fun of. Oh - and the fact that he’s probably a little too cocky for his own good. And the fact that he seems like the kind of guy who would take a casual drinking contest WAY too far and fall down shitfaced, and all these people would try to help him up because, you know, he’s disabled, and he’d scream “I’M FINE! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” But he still wouldn’t be able to get up, and everyone would get really quiet, and he would stumble around for a while and eventually leave the party or bar or whatever, but it would probably be pretty uncomfortable for a little while (unless it was a big, noisy party, in which case nobody would really notice).
The Worst Of “As Seen On TV”
The Product: Talking Toilet Paper Holder
The Ad Copy: “It’s #1 in #2!”
Price: $14.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling
Target Demographic: People buying a gift for their “wacky” uncle, friends that you shouldn’t be friends with
Why It Sucks: Here are the “hilarious” examples of what you might want to record on your talking toilet paper holder:
Translation? This is a product made for people who want to make their guests miserable. Whether the joke is that your dump is loud, smelly, taking too long, or that you need to be reminded to wash your hands afterward, you probably don’t want to be friends with anyone who would consider buying this. It’s for people whose need for talking novelty items hasn’t already been satisfied by Big Mouth Billy Bass. You’ll come out of the bathroom and they’ll offer you a hearty handshake - but they’ll have a hand buzzer in their palm. Then they’ll offer you some trick gum that makes you vomit and slap you in the face with a rubber chicken. If you encounter one of these things, sever all ties with the person who owns it immediately. Then sit back and watch the quality of your life improve.
Stupid Factor (1 to 10): Like… a billion?
December 7th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
A Shimajiro for grown ups? Help me, Mother of Magdalene!!
December 7th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I understood about 4 words of the above comment…
December 7th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
The talking toilet paper holder would be slightly funny if it was saying lines Tim Arnold said from Austin Powers:
“Don’t push too hard. You might blow out your “o” ring.”
“That’s sounds pretty nasty. How about a courtesy flush over there?”
“We’re gonna get through this. Bit your lip, grab the bar, and give it hell!”
“Jesus Christ, Boy! What did you eat!?”
Other than that, awesome video. (Get it? Cause it’s the awesome video of the day?) I’m glad you took the high road today and posted something with a disabled person because racist jokes were getting old. Now we can rip on disabled people.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
racist jokes are the only way to go, but maybe next week we could try sexism? You could post the 5 worst examples of shitty women drivers.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
You think there’s actually any good ones, thedude?
December 7th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
“Underground” is another word for “stupid-ass”…as in,” I’m one of the best dancers in the stupid-ass pop & lock dance movement.”
I bet tying his shoes is a bitch though.
December 7th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Actually, Napoleon wasn’t short.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
i’d like to point out he chose to call himself “Solow” which is kinda funny cause he’s short, but it’s still inferior to the much more obvious choice of simply calling himself “Backwards Feet.” It’d save his audeience that awkward moment where they wonder if they’re supposed to notice his feet and honestly, who else is going to have that name?
January 7th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Two items: first, Napoleon was in fact short, although not as disproportionately so as people imagine (if indeed anyone akes the time to imagine it at all). Five feet four inches if I recall; average was perhaps 5′6″ at the time.
Second: Yes, it’s inspiring that the guy has learned to do hip-hop with backward legs. That said: wouldn’t it be a bit more useful (and less self-servingly public) if he just got an education, a career and consequently good health insurance so they could fix his legs? I’m sure there’s a ‘Backward Legs Scholarship Fund” out there somewhere. But then, who’d film THAT and put it on Youtube? Nobody.
Personally, I think he should call himself “Backtrack”.
January 12th, 2008 at 5:29 am
On Napoleon; He was not, in fact, short. Average was 5′6″, and he was (officially) anywhere from 5′4″, to 5′8″, depending on the source (maybe he had a growth spurt?). He LOOKED small for two reasons:
1) He surrounded himself with really big bodyguards; they cover him more. The also rode on really big horses. Basically, he stayed hidden among big, burly men. I’m sure you can find a homosexuality joke hidden in there, but I’ll let you dig it up.
2) The British just loved to hate on the French (still do). So does America. Call him short and ‘overcompensating’, and let the jokes roll.
January 26th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Ooh! I know the homosexuality joke!
Napoleon enjoyed surrounding himself with a wall of man-meat!
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Danny…
…The first thing to know is that it happens to many people and it is not your fault……