Magician Mime Dancing, Sports Hat Juggling and Men’s Fashion Demystified: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The Day
Ken Create: The Greatest Sports Hat-Juggling Magician Mime Dancer Of All Time
When I was in college, Ken Create1 and I performed together as a duo: I would juggle the sports hats while he would dance around me in full mime gear (we took turns with the magic tricks). It was a big hit on the local circuit for a while, but I started to feel restricted by our rigid, over-rehearsed act. I tried to spice things up by juggling different kinds of things (blank CDs, hamburgers, dead birds, etc.), but Ken got really pissed off and told me to stick to the routine. I even ordered some books on Amazon.com about jazz tap and Kabuki theater and had them shipped to his house, but he took it as a back-handed insult and refused to speak to me for weeks. Soon the gigs started drying up, and eventually we went our separate ways.
I don’t harbor any ill will toward Ken. How could I? He was kind of like a mentor to me. I’ve moved on with my life, but I’m glad to see that Ken’s still doing his thing. Know why? Because Ken Create is probably the greatest sports hat-juggling magician mime dancer of all time.
1 Lest you think this is all some sick joke, here’s his press kit (complete with detailed listings of every nursing home he’s ever performed at).
With Winter just around the corner, it’s time to make preparations for the cold months ahead. You’re going to want to load up on batteries and canned food and have an emergency plan for your family and all that, but more importantly, you’d better figure out what you’re going to wear. Navigating the gauntlet that is Men’s Fashion can be scary, but don’t worry: I’ve done all the homework for you, and this week on the Cracked Blog I’ll be bringing you my five top picks for the season.
The Cracked Guide To Men’s Winter Fashion
Label: Dolce & Gabanna
Materials: Polyester, (Endangered) Goose Down, That Stuff They Wrap Houses With During Construction
Message It Sends To The World: “I was once an Astronaut; Now I am an escaped mental patient.”
Features
Price: $27,000 (without shoes)
November 26th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Definitive proof of the existence of God.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Which one? The mime or the fashion?
November 26th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
The real question of course is where was Ken Create from 1989 to 1997? What happened at the Cafe Restaurant in Bloomfield, NJ?
November 27th, 2007 at 12:50 am
A horrific baseball cap accident. Few survived, Ken was one of the lucky ones… or was he??
November 27th, 2007 at 4:43 am
Ken Create, my left testicle. Thats clearly a young Lionel Luther, struggling manfully to supplement Luthercorp’s initial shaky income.
http://www.kryptonsite.com/johnglover.htm
November 27th, 2007 at 7:36 am
WAIT A SECOND! HE’S ONLY JUGGLING 2 HATS!!!
November 27th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Anyone else think that Ken could get a gig in horror as Ken Kreuger? He looks remarkably like Freddy even without make-up on.
November 27th, 2007 at 11:08 am
I think i’ve just found my latest nightmare fuel….
November 27th, 2007 at 11:39 am
This is either the best or worst idea for a movie ever: “A Nightmare on Oak Street” where Ken Kreuger, the inept brother of Freddy, attempts to kill kids for making fun of his act. His attempts all fail and they’re played off as shinnanagins. But, his shinnanagins are just pathetic and sad, which makes them not shinnanagins at all really. At the end, he gives up and starts performing at nursing homes in an attempt to kill old people with boredom.
November 27th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Give him some credit, Nick: even I’ll admit it that the “floating cane” trick is pretty good.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Dude, that’s a cane on fishing line. They used to sell that as a toy for children in the early 80’s. As in: so easy a child can do it. AND TWO HATS IS NOT JUGGLING!
November 27th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Yeah - but he’s DANCING with it!
November 27th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
When he got to the light sticks part and beckoned us to follow him, I immediately thought “Oh god, it’s a trap, his basement is the trap!”
November 28th, 2007 at 12:18 am
OMG - get off!!
November 29th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
He’s like the wierd uncle who never really got his life together so you have to spend every holiday watching him try to impress you with his hat juggling untill Grandma yells at him not to wear his fedora at the dinner table.
Good ol’ Uncle Benny.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:35 am
discounted fastsize extender…
The FastSize Extender is currently the most powerful traction…
February 25th, 2008 at 2:54 am
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June 8th, 2008 at 9:08 am
[...] 26th 2007 5:00pm [-] From: cracked.com [...]
June 12th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
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