Comments on: For God’s Sake, Let Him Come Pick Strawberries Already http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/ The CRACKED.com take on the world, in America's oldest weblog, since 1958. Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:37:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Ross http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1820 Ross Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:55:08 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1820 Jesus and the boy (played by Shia LeBeouf and Freddy Highmore respectively, both wearing massive amounts of latex and make-up) end up across the border living a content but meaningless life picking Strawberries in a cruel, dusty Texan town. One day in the field, the young boy comes across a strawberry that transports him to a magical world run by CGI-rendered fruit flies. Having been shunned by the society he was trying to get into on the outside world he now finds himself accepted by the gentle winged creatures, and strikes up a bond with native fruit-fly Robin (voiced by either Sarah Michelle Gellar or Alicia Silverstone, whomever has the least amount of work these days) who by happy coincidence is the daughter of head fruit-fly Gordo (voiced by Alan Rickman). Alas the peace is shattered when an invading army of fire ants (the leader of whom is voiced by Robert De Niro) attacks the strawberry village, leaving the boy (now christened 'Hector' by his fruit-fly brethren) to help Gordo and Robin defeat the dreaded fire ants whilest learning various lessons about love, prejudice and acceptance. The fruit-flies are grateful for Hector's help, but convince him he must return to his world. Upon returning to the real world Hector confides in Jesus, and uses his newfound knowledge in the last 10 minutes of the film to melt the heart of Mexican-hating mayor Johnny Twotone (played by Clint Eastwood). The last scene of the movie will include Robin and Gordo staring whistfully out of their strawberry whilest Hector continues his picking duties nearby, "don't cry Robin, he's happy now." "I know daddy, i know". Jesus and the boy (played by Shia LeBeouf and Freddy Highmore respectively, both wearing massive amounts of latex and make-up) end up across the border living a content but meaningless life picking Strawberries in a cruel, dusty Texan town. One day in the field, the young boy comes across a strawberry that transports him to a magical world run by CGI-rendered fruit flies. Having been shunned by the society he was trying to get into on the outside world he now finds himself accepted by the gentle winged creatures, and strikes up a bond with native fruit-fly Robin (voiced by either Sarah Michelle Gellar or Alicia Silverstone, whomever has the least amount of work these days) who by happy coincidence is the daughter of head fruit-fly Gordo (voiced by Alan Rickman). Alas the peace is shattered when an invading army of fire ants (the leader of whom is voiced by Robert De Niro) attacks the strawberry village, leaving the boy (now christened ‘Hector’ by his fruit-fly brethren) to help Gordo and Robin defeat the dreaded fire ants whilest learning various lessons about love, prejudice and acceptance.

The fruit-flies are grateful for Hector’s help, but convince him he must return to his world. Upon returning to the real world Hector confides in Jesus, and uses his newfound knowledge in the last 10 minutes of the film to melt the heart of Mexican-hating mayor Johnny Twotone (played by Clint Eastwood).

The last scene of the movie will include Robin and Gordo staring whistfully out of their strawberry whilest Hector continues his picking duties nearby, “don’t cry Robin, he’s happy now.”
“I know daddy, i know”.

]]> By: Michael Swaim http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1784 Michael Swaim Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:00:03 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1784 Wow, our readership are basically a board of veteran film writers. We need to somehow harness this power to our benefit. Wow, our readership are basically a board of veteran film writers. We need to somehow harness this power to our benefit.

]]> By: Edward http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1767 Edward Tue, 27 Nov 2007 08:17:26 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1767 Anne Hathaway is the younger sister of the dead mother who fights tirelessly to allow our hero into the country. There's a hard-line sheriff up for re-election who opposes them every step of the way (I'm thinking Billy Bob Thornton. Anne and Jesus fall in love; Jesus softens Billy Bob's heart by telling him his life-long dream of coming to America, and how he too is a widower who promised his dying wife one day he'd make it to the Land of Opportunity so he could plant a strawberry bush in her honour. Anne and Jesus get married with the little boy as his best man. Close out on a weeping but happy Jesus pushing dirt around a newly-planted bush outside his new family home while his adopted son looks on with Aunt Anne. Anne Hathaway is the younger sister of the dead mother who fights tirelessly to allow our hero into the country. There’s a hard-line sheriff up for re-election who opposes them every step of the way (I’m thinking Billy Bob Thornton. Anne and Jesus fall in love; Jesus softens Billy Bob’s heart by telling him his life-long dream of coming to America, and how he too is a widower who promised his dying wife one day he’d make it to the Land of Opportunity so he could plant a strawberry bush in her honour. Anne and Jesus get married with the little boy as his best man. Close out on a weeping but happy Jesus pushing dirt around a newly-planted bush outside his new family home while his adopted son looks on with Aunt Anne.

]]> By: josselin http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1763 josselin Tue, 27 Nov 2007 06:33:09 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1763 He seems very familiar to me. Oh, I remember he is the man I ever saw on the SugarmommyMeet.com. You know it is a site for rich women to look for hot guys. You can guess what he was doing there? He seems very familiar to me. Oh, I remember he is the man I ever saw on the SugarmommyMeet.com. You know it is a site for rich women to look for hot guys. You can guess what he was doing there?

]]> By: Jonathan http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1758 Jonathan Tue, 27 Nov 2007 05:16:26 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1758 A ha! Now I see. I'm afraid it's the Dark Ages for me. "I was gonna come up with a site/but then I got high..." C'mon, now; you all know the lyrics. A ha! Now I see. I’m afraid it’s the Dark Ages for me. “I was gonna come up with a site/but then I got high…” C’mon, now; you all know the lyrics.

]]> By: Gladstone http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1746 Gladstone Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:21:55 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1746 I thought red meant you were a commie bastard? I thought red meant you were a commie bastard?

]]> By: Wild_Marker http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1738 Wild_Marker Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:34:49 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1738 Or it could mean you're just a good person who cares about saving the good people of the internet of yet another crap site that's not about anything not good for anything because you don't have the imagination to come up with a website from nowhere. Or at least, that's my case. Or it could mean you’re just a good person who cares about saving the good people of the internet of yet another crap site that’s not about anything not good for anything because you don’t have the imagination to come up with a website from nowhere.

Or at least, that’s my case.

]]> By: Michael Swaim http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1735 Michael Swaim Mon, 26 Nov 2007 23:39:41 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1735 Red means you input a website when you posted, and clicking your name will take you to said website. Black doesn't mean you're not a staffer, just that you live int he Dark Ages and don't have your own website, plebian. Red means you input a website when you posted, and clicking your name will take you to said website. Black doesn’t mean you’re not a staffer, just that you live int he Dark Ages and don’t have your own website, plebian.

]]> By: Jonathan http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1725 Jonathan Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:19:57 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1725 What's up with the "most everyone but me and a couple of others" showing up in red? Is this some kind of fascist thing, or does the red denote Cracked staff and you guys are so hard up for readership you make up most of your own blog postings talking to each other? And how sad does that make me? Dammit, I want to be a fascist too! I'm tired of being black! Umm...that didn't quite sound right, did it? (cough, cough) So, what was that about dinosaurs the other day? What’s up with the “most everyone but me and a couple of others” showing up in red? Is this some kind of fascist thing, or does the red denote Cracked staff and you guys are so hard up for readership you make up most of your own blog postings talking to each other? And how sad does that make me? Dammit, I want to be a fascist too! I’m tired of being black! Umm…that didn’t quite sound right, did it? (cough, cough) So, what was that about dinosaurs the other day?

]]> By: Kristi http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1723 Kristi Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:03:01 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/2007/11/26/for-gods-sake-let-him-come-pick-strawberries-already/#comment-1723 Then I'm on strike. I'm going to go make my sign now. Then I’m on strike. I’m going to go make my sign now.

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