QVC, “Katsaks” and There’s A Freemason Under My Airport: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The Day
Mike Rowe Selling Katsaks on QVC
It’s kind of weird to think there was a time when Mike Rowe, current host of Dirty Jobs, was hawking things like “Katsaks” on QVC to pay his rent, but you know what’s even weirder? THERE WAS SOMEONE OUT THERE TAPING IT. Who in the name of God tapes the “Quality Value Convenience” channel?! Were they huge Mike Rowe fans, or did they just not want to miss seeing all the products that were available for purchase? Maybe they had the VCR set to the wrong channel or something.
If I were Mike Rowe and wanted someone to hire me for a new show, I’d just show them this clip. Not only would it prove that I could handle myself with grace under pressure, but it also shows that when I had a show on QVC, THERE WAS SOMEONE OUT THERE TAPING IT. If that isn’t a surefire indicator of future success, I don’t know what is.
The Best Conspiracy Theories Ever
Nuts And Bolts: Three is an enormous, multi-level underground complex underneath Denver International Airport that was built by the Freemasons. That’s where they keep all the aliens. Oh - and a bird’s-eye view of the runways forms a retarded-looking swastika, so the Nazis are probably involved in this too somehow.
As a parenthetical footnote, DIA was also voted Best Airport in North America by Business Traveler Magazine in 2005.
Evidence: Theorists point to a series of creepy murals hung in the airport for clues. The murals were painted by a Chicano artist named Leo Tanguma and a group of local schoolchildren - not exactly the kinds of people you think of when you think of Freemasons, but maybe that’s all part of their plan. Some have also suggested that the Masons stuffed the ballot box at Business Traveler Magazine in 2005 to get Denver International Airport voted the Best Airport in North America so nobody would suspect anything.
Plausability: So-so. I have no idea what the average number of sub-basements is for an airport, but eight (which the theorists claim DIA has) seems about on par to me. Besides, even if there IS some sort of underground bunker full of Illuminati guys in dark robes and aliens and Nazis, it doesn’t seem like they have any interest in messing with the departures or arrivals. If they were, how would Denver International Airport have been voted Best Airport in North America in 2005 by Business Traveler Magazine? Hmm?
That’s what I thought.
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November 14th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Mike Rowe is amazing… he’s actually convincing enough some people still spent $25 on that thing instead of just getting a brown paper bag from the grocery store.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I can’t believe i’ve become a Mike Rowe fan. He manages to be sarcastic for 5 straight minutes
November 14th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Wow. This affirms everything I believe in. Mike Rowe is basically God.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
To Gladstone:
5 minutes? Check out his other QVC videos… in particular check out the Noah’s Arc one… that’s hilarious when he starts pulling the animals out and guessing what they are.
November 14th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Wow. Mike Rowe is just hilarious. Love it when he makes fun of people on Dirty Jobs.
November 14th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Does anyone else have the same idea I do? Mike Rowe should have a late night talk show. I could hear him talk about how bizarre cats are forever.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:08 am
What an awesome guy. Seriously; I could not do that for 10 seconds without cracking up. Great video!
November 15th, 2007 at 12:24 am
That was some priceless god damn video. Thank you cracked.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:12 am
Mike Rowe, QVC, Dickies, blows Noah’s Ark out of the water, close to the funniest fucking thing ever!