Moby Dick’d Over
Moby is fuming after a co-op board rejected his application to move into a 7.5 million dollar California Penthouse. The composer of South Side and other things I don’t listen to told reporters:
No reason? I find that very hard to believe. I mean, come on, things change. There was a time people thought it was cool to buy music they first heard in car commercials, but that time has passed. Indeed, I can think of several reasons Moby’s application was rejected:
*Neighbors feared collateral damage to the building from a potential Moby/Eminem slap fight.
*It became clear that former friends like Gwen Stefani and David Bowie actually didn’t visit him very often. Or at all.
*Moby left several significant sections of the application blank, opting to fill the space with mellow keyboard generated overtones instead of actual words.
*There is a Michael J. Fox “You must be this tall to enter the Penthouse” sign at the entrance gate.
*During the board interview, Moby responded to questions, repeatedly, in the sampled voice of an old dead black woman.
*The Penthouse’s music room is only 98.7% soundproof.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Maybe it’s an uptown penthouse complex for meat-eating, hunting enthusiasts who like rap?
November 14th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Certainly not a penthouse for bald electronica musicians who own tea houses, at any rate.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:31 am
Another thing on the list?
Friends like Kato Kaelin and Corey Feldman visit too often…
November 15th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
A friend of mine’s ex-girlfriend lived in some sort of fancy loft building in Manhattan… same building that Moby lived in. She said he used to draw his cutesy little alien guys in the elevator all the time. Blech.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
I think you misread the article.. he’s selling a house, not buying it. He’s pissed because he lost a sale.
November 15th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
But that’s not funny!
Sorry. I think you’re right.
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Ringtones…
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read….