Since my Spice Girls post was a such a huge hit, I’ve been searching the web for another story about a group of ladies I no longer think about sexually. And like manna from heaven drop some pics from the forthcoming Sex And The City movie. From what I gather, the plot centers around how unsightly the women have become:
Here’s a shot of Kim Catrall right after one of her nauseated male suitors vomits blood from the sight of her.
Undeterred, Kim starts hitting on blind men. Unfortunately, this dude’s guide dog has to look away.
In a show of solidarity, Sarah Jessica Parker slips in the the fugliest, anorexia-accentuating, erection-obliterating outfit in creation. Apparently, Pippi Longstocking is all grown up, and not even crystal meth gets her blood to circulate.
At about the movie’s halfway mark, the producers trick the audience’s male genitalia out of hiding with younger stand-ins.
And then the ladies return to remind us true beauty knows not the ravages of time. Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! I want to make sweet love. (To that airbrush.)
…oh, and if your penis isn’t dead yet, you can check out the new Spice Girls Video here.
Last 5 posts by Gladstone
- CNN Waaaay Too Excited About a Teen ‘Sex in the City’ (or Speaking of Teens That Will Land Me In Jail) - October 6th, 2008
- CNN Mistakes Boobs For News - September 29th, 2008
- Chuck Norris Doesn't Understand Politics (or Are the Cracked Bloggers The New Beatles?) - September 22nd, 2008
- HBN Needs Your Help - September 15th, 2008
- Psychic Kids See Dead People. Viewers See Crap TV - September 8th, 2008
March 6th, 2008 at 5:50 am
I dont know guys, the brunette girl is pretty hot….ive been wanting to bang her out since junior high…
March 5th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
A Cheffie : my thoughts exactly
GET OUT OF MY HEAD aaarrrggh!
March 5th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Also, in that final photo their heights are all screwy, leading me to suspect that they have, amusingly, been Photoshopped to give the illusion that they could stand to be in the same room as each other.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
click here for the infamous paris hilton sex tape video…
Where can i download paris hilton sex tape? …
January 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
how to pick up women in a bar…
how to pick up women the right way…
November 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
The new hot Paris Hilton sex tape footage see here…
Paris Exposed - Paris Hilton Sex Tape…
November 13th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Yeah, I was joking
November 12th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Megan Fox can ride my giant mechanised highly-advanced piece of AI that can transform into a form of motor transport.
Oh yeah, anytime.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Why are people worried about these old ladies? Seriously guys… if you’re gonna watch a movie for babes, you might as well watch a movie that’s not a chick flick and has hotter chicks. Plus, you probably already own it.
Transformers: nostalgia… check…. giant fighting robots… check…. Megan Fox…. double check…. I’d triple check, but I’m already done. She’s just that hot.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:47 am
In the picture with Kim Catrall chatting up the blind man, it looks as though the pet ferret belonging to her vagina is attempting to break its leash.
November 10th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
The studio keeps these ladies locked in a darkened room, away from age-inducing sunlight, and feeds them only enough thin gruel to keep them alive. But they still need copious amounts of Photoshop In A Can before they can go out in public.
November 10th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Ross, I think Justin may have been joking. Justin? No?
November 10th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Especially if those four years turn out to be 2 decades.
November 10th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I don’t know, Kim Catrall looked pretty good in “Mannequin”. That was only like four years ago or something, I think, but four years can be a lot for a woman’s looks.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
I’m into anything that brings my Oedipus complex into sharp focus.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
That featureless beige void which they’ve been photoshopped in front of for the last picture is a perfect representation of my level of attraction for them.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
I hope that at some point in the movie it is explained why that horse has argyle socks on and is walking on two hooves. Also, I don’t know what Sex and the City is, but in looking at the picture of the figure in the bloodied fur coat, are they making another installment of the Mummy series? In any event, thanks. It’ll be a looong time before I “peel my banana”.