Strike While the Irony Is Hot
I think I remember being told by someone recently that we live in “The Age of Irony”—possibly it was the ambulance driver who ran me over, or the doctor at Planned Parenthood who knocked up my girlfriend—and if the news media is any indication, it’s true:
‘Saw’ Star’s Son Has Ironic Halloween Costume
‘Saw IV’ villain Tobin Bell’s creepy movie puppet sidekick Billy is such a hit in his household, the actor’s young son will hit the streets at Halloween dressed like him.
Now, the son of the star of Saw dressing up as a character from Saw is about as ironic as the son of a fireman dressing up as a fireman, or the son of Dick Cheney dressing up as an asshole, or the son of Tom Cruise dressing up as a batshit-crazy gay dude. Which is to say, not ironic at all.
Now, with a little knowledge of what the word “ironic” means, it’s not that difficult to come up with plenty of costumes that fit the definition more accurately. For example:
- Marion Jones’ son dressing up as a urine sample
- Sen. Larry Craig’s son dressing up as a men’s room
- A nappy-headed ho dressing up as Don Imus
- Woody Allen’s daughter dressing up as his wife, and vice-versa
- Britney Spears’ kids dressing up as underwear
- That Halo 3 guy’s son dressing up as Mario
- Nouri al-Maliki’s son dressing up as Muqtada al-Sadr (Mom will never let him hear the end of that one!)
- Michael Vick’s son dressing up as a pit bull and then biting Michael Vick’s balls off
- George W. Bush dressing up as a pilot and announcing “Mission Accomplished,” despite the mission clearly not being accomplished (oh, you master of irony, you!), and
- A guy who writes for Cracked dressing up as Sylvester P. Smythe, and then getting his ass kicked by a guy dressed as Alfred E. Neuman
October 30th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
I just thought of one of these the other day, but it wasn’t about Halloween costumes. Ready?
A FIRE TRUCK CATCHING ON FIRE.
October 30th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
An ambulance IN NEED OF MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
AN BURNING AMBULANCE RUNNING OVER A FIRETRUCK IN NEED OF MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
10,000 forks when all you need is a gun.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
A spatula when you are dead.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Or rain on your wedding day, except it’s acid rain and your husband is on acid.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
A “No Smoking” sign on your cigarette break… and then while you’re reading it you get hit by a bus.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
… a bus with a cigarette ad on the side. And then it turns out the tumors in your lungs protect your internal organs from the impact of the bus!
October 30th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Flies in your chardonnay when you’re an alcoholic who has a weird body chemistry whereby flies nullify the effects of alcohol.
October 30th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Or meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife and then having a raging threesome only to discover they’re my parents.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
A “Saw” movie that was any different from the others and/or didn’t suck!
October 30th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Hey, if someone wanted to write a post about how people always use irony incorrectly, would it be ironic if the author of the post used irony incorrectly all throughout the post? Would that irony be nullified if it was discovered that the author used it incorrectly intentionally? Would that mean it ISN’T ironic anymore? Is it possible that there is NO SUCH THING as irony?
I want you all to think about that while I finish up this heaping pile of cocaine.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Cracked staff smoking Crack (too ovbious, but still irony)
October 30th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Marlowe said:
“A “Saw” movie that was any different from the others and/or didn’t suck!”
Except that would just be surprising, not ironic. It would be ironic if the new Saw movie was found to cure saw-wounds.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Daniel, I’m afraid you might SEVERELY underestimate Mr. Cooper. I think Ian’s post takes irony to a whole new level of ironic. But, ironically, Ian is afraid of cats. Wait. Huh?
October 31st, 2007 at 4:37 am
Ironic: A comment feature meant to encourage interaction between creators and an audience used exclusively by the creators.
October 31st, 2007 at 10:57 am
Indeed. A circle jerk where no one ejaculates. Ironically, I have erectile dysfunction.
October 31st, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I will only participate in a circle jerk if I know that everyone involved is just being ironic.
October 31st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
some of the best comments of all time, although the post was GAY. i vote comments limited to smart people
October 31st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
daniel o’brien is a demigod, as well
October 31st, 2007 at 6:53 pm
A cheese factory owner from switzerland vacations in wisconsin. He goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese only to find that they’re out of cheese. Also he was dead the whole time and his leprechaun was gay.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:24 pm
I think I see an arthouse film in there somewhere.
January 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Suzanne…
…Rehab is a place that one can go to find a solution to a problem with alcohol that they cant find on their own……
April 20th, 2008 at 12:48 am
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid. Also, you are drunk.