I don’t know about you, but when I heard the Spice Girls were getting back together, I had to rethink my whole masturbation schedule. I mean, how could I get these ladies into my rotation? Who would get bumped? Vanna White? Paula Zahn? The actress who plays the mom in my Tivo’d episodes of Alf? So many fine ladies.
It was a hard decision. And I started to think maybe I just didn’t have room for the Spice Girls. If only this had happened last year when Joan Collins hit 73 and was replaced with a younger more nubile Ann Margaret. 66! ROWR!
But then I heard that the Spice Girls were gonna be pole dancing!
Pole dancing! That’s awesome. I haven’t been this hot since I saw Sophia Loren do the limbo! So I’ve readjusted my schedule, and I’m now devoting Wednesday afternoons solely to these smoldering vixens. I’ve also declared Thursday, “Heal up from chaffing day.” Sorry Martha Stewart and Goldie Hawn. It couldn’t last forever.
Last 5 posts by Gladstone
- CNN Waaaay Too Excited About a Teen ‘Sex in the City’ (or Speaking of Teens That Will Land Me In Jail) - October 6th, 2008
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- Chuck Norris Doesn't Understand Politics (or Are the Cracked Bloggers The New Beatles?) - September 22nd, 2008
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February 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Personally…I like nailing fat chicks. Their ’scent’ reminds me of Vancouver at low tide, and their bodies offer a new crack to fuck every night of the month… HAWT!
http://www.NeilsNotes.com
February 27th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Hey Posh… if you and Beck’s want a 3rd. (to give you the double-whammy!), I’m in sweets (so IN to U!)! C U again at: http://www.NeilsNotes.com
October 28th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I should have noted earlier that Posh looks like a gone-to-seed Greaser chick.
Hmm, so that’s what happens when you fall off the back of a motorbike and end up dragged along on your face for 3 miles.
Heh. Burned you Posh.
October 28th, 2007 at 3:36 am
Throwin’ Joan Collins to the curb just because she hit 73? For shame, Gladstone, for shame. I mean what guy doesn’t have Betty White in the lineup and she’s got to be at least 115. I mean nothing’s sexier than a ladies legs where you can’t tell if she’s wearing stocking or not. Flabby gray wrinkles. rowr.
On a side note: Just think if it hadn’t been for the Spice Girls being the trailblazers they are we wouldn’t have the Pussy Cat Dolls today who really upped the ante on what the Spice Girls did. One by some managing to make their group name an unprecedented 60 times more whorish. And secondly by expanding from the five women who dress like skanks and don’t play instruments to six women who dress like super skanks and don’t play instruments. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 2007: the year of girl power.
October 27th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve scored with the line, “You know, I’m not really into black chicks, but I’d still tap that.” They’re like the magic words no woman can resist.
October 27th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Jeb. You mean this?
October 27th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
So did Scary Spice and Jase wants to do her even though he is prejudiced against black chicks. Quite the testimonial.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Emma Bunton (aka Baby) is fall-off-your-chair hot like the sun. Seriously. Consider this…the girl had a child about two or three months ago.
If you need further proof, look for the CD cover/liner photos for her Free Me CD.
October 27th, 2007 at 11:04 am
You mean THERE ISN’T A WII VS XBOX DEBATE ON YOUR BLOG!? Shit, that’s why i came here
October 27th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Oh Ross, I’m just happy to have any comments. I was starting to think I’d have to blog full time about wii v. xbox.
October 27th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Poor Jase, how can you sit and run through your toss-off list on a subject that is clearly sarcastic?
October 27th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Everyone has their style: casual, sexy, attractive………..
October 27th, 2007 at 12:12 am
On one hand Posh looks like one of those bratz dolls, kinda pathetic and she’s the only one who isn’t even prepared to pretend she wants to be there. And while Sporty actually looks pretty good these days, compared to when she use to remind me of one of those high school dropouts who you see hanging around malls, the ones who offer to blow you for $10. If she can keep this up she might end up looking sexy.
Scary, I’m not really into black chicks but yep I’d definitely tap that. Baby still looks alright.
Ginger, I am into redheads… when this group started I found her mildly attractive. As she’s gotten older she’s definitely been looking after herself and leaned down and toned up, mmm… she hasn’t turned into the coked out, chunky has-been, *cough* *cough* Britney.
And by the way I strongly recommend you hunt down a copy of the video out take (some British tv show) of Ginger and Kylie Minogue pashing, it has kept me warm at night.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Posh looks like a monchichi. Sporty looks like Peg from Married with Children. Ginger looks like a geriatric hippie. Baby looks… well, she looks pretty good, actually. Scary looks like a Real Doll, only less real.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
“I’ve also declared Thursday, “Heal up from chaffing day.” Sorry Martha Stewart and Goldie Hawn. It couldn’t last forever.”
That was gold.