The Answer Is Blowin’ Pollution Into The Wind
So it seems Bob Dylan just did a car commercial. And not just any car commercial, but an ad for a gas-guzzling 2008 Cadillac SUV.
I think that’s awesome. I mean, it’s just like when he went electric at the Newport Jazz festival. But instead of being bold and brave and experimental, it’s shameless and crass and whorey.
This is just the kind of spirit-shattering news I’ve been waiting for to catalyze a mass suicide of any and all remaining hippies. I thought the last of the patchouli-drenched, cannabis-lovin’ herd would have killed themselves after Dennis Hopper started doing retirement ads, but apparently some are still kicking.
So, although possibly not true, I thought I’d share a few more facts to help guide the razor blade across the wrists of anyone still remaining in that tie-dyed community:
- For his services, Bob Dylan was paid —not in money— but with the tears of baby seals collected during their slaughter
- When the commercial shoot was over, Dylan kept driving aimlessly just to watch the ozone die.
- One of the conditions of Dylan’s contract was that the car’s CD player had to come equipped with an advance copy of Britney’s new Blackout album
- Although cut from the final take, in an earlier version Dylan looked at the camera and said, “And the Cadillac’s great for offroading over Abbie Hoffman’s grave!”
- Dylan wanted to write a new verse for Blowin’ in the Wind that goes “How many roads must a man walk down before he realizes he should be drivin’ a kick-ass SUV,” but Ford convinced him it was in poor taste.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I heard he also blames global warming on burning bras and draft cards.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Gladstone, The hippies all mass-suicided when Dylan found Jesus in the 80’s; the ones who survived are continuing his plot of killing all forms & expressions of creativity (The red pill will help you see where rap really came from…)
October 24th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Good point. Although I think he got over the Jesus thing. Of course, the hippies were already dead. Shucks.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Hippies don’t die - only their bodies do. Their filthy, smelly, lice-infested bodies.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Yes, yes, everybody pile on the hippies. But don’t forget their lasting contribution to our society: the ingenious notion that the best way to fight an unjust war is to get wasted and have group sex.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
I heard a rumor that all the kids were really into Dylan these days and if I blogged about it, there would be a ginormous influx of traffic and commenters. Was I misled?
Damn. I knew I should have posted those naked Jessica Biehl pics instead.
October 24th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
If it comes down your blog or naked Jessica Biel pics, the answer is ALWAYS naked Jessica Biel pics.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
If what comes down my blog? You? After looking at Biel pics?
October 25th, 2007 at 11:43 am
What about Sheryl Crow’s being on Live Earth/ doing SUV Commercials? It’s all about appealing to a broad audience.
November 17th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
He’s Bob Dylan, man.
Bob Dylan does whatever he FUCKING WANTS! He doesn’t give a shit about pissy little ecosystems and softcock endangered species who can’t survive a little mass ecological destruction.
He cares about PEOPLE, no wait, he cares about BOB DYLAN, the only fucker who really matters.
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
He’s the Dinah Shore off the 21st Century.
January 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
he looks kinda like magneto doesnt he…
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Isn’t Bob dead? If no, then why not?!?!
http://neilsnotes.com/?page=15&catid=30&sku=E-CD00296
March 8th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
jessica stam falls…
Man i love reading your blog, interesting posts !…
May 15th, 2008 at 12:07 am
He sucks. Artsy kids like him cus he is “rad and revolutionary.” If by “rad and revolutionary” you mean completely incoherent, then you’re correct. If singing in a completely different language that is fueled by profound drug use. He was banned from the Ed Sullivan Show because no one could understand what the FUCK HE WAS SAYING.
May 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
eh, Dylans been doin been doin shit like this from day 1, its nothing new. he can do this, he can be a fuckin prick to everyone,he can sell out, go electric, find god, be as incoherent as he wants, he can run in your house on christmas day and piss allover your kids. hes still the last word in music, just wait for his death and we’ll see if its just Artsy students who are into Dylan.