He Wears a Blue Robe to Work. Of Course He’s Gay.
The wordsmiths over at Entertainment Weekly just published this glittering narrative description of a recent J.K. Rowling reading and Q and A session. The article joyously depicts the breadth of the evening and the bustle and merriment of the crowd of scrub-faced youth, all sweepstakes winners, who turned out to applaud the author and ask probing questions about their favorite members of the wizarding world. Fortunately, you don’t have to read any of that shit, because the important information is in the article’s headline: DUMBLEDORE IS GAY.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just because the elderly wizard who shepherded young waif Harry Potter from tender boyhood into manhood is a homosexual doesn’t mean he was necessarily molesting him. It just gives a million slashfic writers justification for assuming so. It also opens the door for a staggering array of inappropriate uses of the word “wand.”
But when all is said and done, does it really change anything if Dumbledore’s beard is white for a reason? YES, J.K. Rowling, it does! Now I’m probably not qualified to tell a billion-copy selling author how to do her job, but here I go: Dumbledore is in the Harry Potter stories for one purpose and one purpose only. Namely, to be the elderly wizard/father figure. He’s a goddamned ARCHETYPE.
He’s not a person; he’s a character, and there’s a big difference between the two. It was bad enough he got a back-story; making us imagine him in any kind of sexual situation is like writing in a scene where Voldemort goes to a magical burrito place (it’s called El Wizardito’s) and has diarrhea all night. Sure, it could happen, but it completely undermines his image.
Although to be fair, at least Rowling set us up for this revelation. If you reread some of those early books, the clues abound:
Of course I thought nothing of any of this at first, but now that Rowling’s confirmed the wizard’s sexual orientation, it’s hard not to see the signs, subtle though they may be.
October 22nd, 2007 at 8:06 am
I don’t like you or your opinions, and etc.
October 22nd, 2007 at 8:41 am
making dumbledore gay is wholly unnecessary. either her money has made her insane or rowling is just stirring up controversy
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:06 am
Sooooooometiiiiiiiimes, people war a rooooooooobe.
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 am
He wars a robe? Perhaps he should WEAR it.
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
What I want to know is, does wizarding make you gay? Or do gays gravitate toward wizardry?
Only one thing can be known for sure: No one cares.
October 22nd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Hey!
How ’bout an article ’bout people who ACTUALLY CARE
about fictional characters? And conjure up crap about their personal (??)
lives!!
But I shouldn’t talk. That Smurf divorce really hit me hard…
October 22nd, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I take off my robe & wizard hat….
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:24 am
I dont care what others think, the article was well put, and I’m one of many people who felt it was completely unnnecessary to out Dumbledore. It doesn’t do much for me.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Totally hilarious and totally agree with you. What do you know, when Dumby looks kinly at Harry it probably more than what meets the eye.
October 25th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
rowlings is sick tired and bored of all these kids and middel aged pedo;s asking her meaningless questions about her caracters….why not fuck with them?
November 10th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
She was probably answering someone’s stupid question, like “Why is Dumbledore an elderly bachelor despite having in his youth been the most famous wizard in the British Empire, and probably having eager witches in low cut robes trying to get up under his robes throughout much of the 1940s?”
November 17th, 2007 at 10:34 am
whether or not it was necessary, saying the making Dumbledore gay ‘completely undermines his image’ is homophobic. end of.
November 21st, 2007 at 11:09 am
Pet Care and Medications…
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting…
November 25th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
I don’t think it’ll be an issue, it never comes up, and I do think J.K Rowling did it because she was tired of stupid questions.
I’d like to see someone ask Michael Gambon what it’ll be like to play Dumbledore now he knows he’s gay. Especially after the time he played Oscar Wilde.
He loves to take the piss out of reporters, so one amazingly idiotic one asked him what it was like to play Oscar Wilde, and did the homosexuality bother him. Gambon’s response was ‘no, i used to be a homosexual. Unfortunately i was forced to give it up.’
January 21st, 2008 at 6:53 am
I couldn’t agree more with you, Michael. Putting aside any opinions I have on homosexuality, I think that the announcement of Dumbledore’s orientation completely unnecessary. My only question– if it wasn’t a bogus statement, then why didn’t Rowling include it in her books?
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
GAY: http://neilsnotes.com/?catid=26
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
My god. People who are complaining that she’s randomly making stuff up? Read the freaking article that’s link kthx. She was answering a bloody question about Dumbledore’s sex life.
Why wasn’t it included in the books? I have tons of info on my characters that I’m never going to use because it’s irrelevent to the plot. Because it wasn’t important! Obviously these people haven’t actually tried writing a story before.
And those who feel it’s wrong for a gay man to be near children? Homophobia. ‘S not like we never see straight child molesters. Sheesh.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
I think what J.K. did was absolutely brilliant. She created a character that millions of children around the world would fall in love with… Do you think the majority of kids will stop admiring Dumbledore just because he is gay? Most kids (unless their parents are a-holes who began the indoctrination process early) don’t really know anything about homosexuality. So when they do learn about it, they’ll already have an example of a homosexual person to associate the new information with. When some non-Harry-Potter-reading bully calls the outcast a “faggot”, Harry Potter kids are going to know that anyone can be gay - even their esteemed Dumbledore. They’ll have a foundation to build lives of unity and tolerance. J.K. Rowling’s books deserve even more credit than they’re given… and not just for the magic. Anyone reading the work analytically can discern timeless themes and solid, healthy messages.