The Nooner: The Price Is Right, Sexy Halloween Costumes and “Deprogramming The Masses”
Awesome Video Of The Day
Woman Freaks Out On The Price Is Right
What am I missing about The Price Is Right? What is it about this show that makes people completely lose their shit? Free stuff is great and all, but these people are practically speaking in tongues over winning matching furniture. We could all use an extra $20,000 here and there, but is it really worth announcing to the entire country that you have to “go potty”? You can’t put a price on dignity, but I’m gonna say this woman’s is worth about $5,000. If you subtract that - and all the applicable taxes - that means she probably earned a few thousand bucks for looking like a total moron on national television.
Come to think of it, that’s actually a pretty good deal.
Somebody should hook her up with this guy and try to make them breed some sort of Price Is Right Übercontestant. It’d be just like the Nazi eugenics program, only way funnier and resulting in much better morning television.
Sexy Halloween 2007
With Halloween just around the corner, women are once again asking themselves the age-old question: “What type of sexy thing am I going to be this year?” I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news, ladies. First the bad news: The whole “sexy nurse” thing is totally cliché. The good news, though: The internet is full of other perfectly “sexy” alternatives. This week on the Cracked blog I’ll be counting down five “sexy” possibilities for your “sexy” consideration. Let’s get into it, shall we?
Sexy Costume #5: Sexy Black Widow
Pinupgirlclothing.com knows that nothing says “sexy” like one of the most venomous spiders in all of North America. Sure to lure men into your web of emotional instability stemming from a tumultuous relationship with your father, the Sexy Black Widow costume sends a very clear message to potential suitors: “I may have these stupid-looking black things attached to my arms, but that doesn’t mean I’m not dressed like a total slut right now.”
Sure To Attract Guys Dressed Up Like: Firemen, The Killer From Scream, Any Sort Of Insect
Sexy Factor (out of 10): 3
Wild Card
I love a good conspiracy theory, but I prefer it when they’re at least marginally believable. The moon landing was a hoax? I can buy that. Tupac is still alive? I wouldn’t be surprised. The Earth is actually flat? There’s probably some truth to tha- wait… what?
So says the Flat Earth Society, a group that, according to their website, has been “Deprogramming the masses since 1547.” I’m willing to keep an open mind here, but between their incomprehensible “Why A Flat Earth?” page and their still-under-construction “Evidence” page I’m having a hard time buying into this. Then again, I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately. Maybe my four humours are out of wack or something.
October 15th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Long Live Bob Barker…
October 15th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Dude was born in 1923. I’d say he’s already had a pretty good run.
October 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am
The disclaimer at the bottom of the Flat Earth main page is hilarious ie losing Aunt Mildred and your Pig Latin dictionary…unless it’s serious. Then I guess it really isn’t that funny
December 1st, 2007 at 6:59 pm
It’s pretty obviously satirical. Quite hilarious.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:45 am
The funniest thing I read on the Flat Earth page was in their “Why A Flat Earth?” section.
The headline for argument three reads: “Argument Three - The impossibilities of holding unsecured objects in place on a curved surface”
Followed by:
“1) Staying on top”
“2) Falling off”
I lol’d uncontrollably for a while.